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- Jun 5, 2011
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Having browsed hundreds, possibly thousands of hours of street fight footage I feel I am somewhat of an authority on the matter. As such, I have identified four constants regularly seen in internet street fights.
1) White people calling each other the N word.
Don't know what it is about, these street white boys are some real hood folk. Strangely though, there are often no black people in sight.
Case in point:
2) A screaming bitch in the background.
I don't know what it is about women. Their reaction to shit going down is to shriek at the top of their lungs. I don't know if they think this reaction helps in some way, but it is normally followed by their man in the fight getting knocked out.
Case in point:
3) Trying to pick someone up who is still completely KTFO.
Normally this is done by just grabbing one arm and lightly pulling them up, letting their head rock violently at unnatural angles, completing their CTE experience. Bonus points if they drop the person attempting this.
Case in point: this video will also include 4, see 4.
4) Cameraman struck by lightning right as the action happens.
Three minutes of buildup, cameraman holding tripod steady. A feint...camera does not budge. A shove...camera is filming with robotic precision. The punch is finally thrown...cameraman looks like he is getting tazed while having a seizure amid a 9.0 earthquake. Comes back into perfect focus to reveal a brutally KO'd man.
Case in point:
So we finally come to the first video which blends several of these street fighting staples. Here we both a cameraman getting struck by lightning during the good part, and a helpful friend ragdolling his buddy back to his feet.
So does there exist a mystical "unicorn" video which contains all 4 street fighting staples? Infinite props to the person who can find such a video.
You can also post any combination of staples or even staples of your own that you have noticed with their own "case in point" videos.
1) White people calling each other the N word.
Don't know what it is about, these street white boys are some real hood folk. Strangely though, there are often no black people in sight.
Case in point:
2) A screaming bitch in the background.
I don't know what it is about women. Their reaction to shit going down is to shriek at the top of their lungs. I don't know if they think this reaction helps in some way, but it is normally followed by their man in the fight getting knocked out.
Case in point:
3) Trying to pick someone up who is still completely KTFO.
Normally this is done by just grabbing one arm and lightly pulling them up, letting their head rock violently at unnatural angles, completing their CTE experience. Bonus points if they drop the person attempting this.
Case in point: this video will also include 4, see 4.
4) Cameraman struck by lightning right as the action happens.
Three minutes of buildup, cameraman holding tripod steady. A feint...camera does not budge. A shove...camera is filming with robotic precision. The punch is finally thrown...cameraman looks like he is getting tazed while having a seizure amid a 9.0 earthquake. Comes back into perfect focus to reveal a brutally KO'd man.
Case in point:
So we finally come to the first video which blends several of these street fighting staples. Here we both a cameraman getting struck by lightning during the good part, and a helpful friend ragdolling his buddy back to his feet.
So does there exist a mystical "unicorn" video which contains all 4 street fighting staples? Infinite props to the person who can find such a video.
You can also post any combination of staples or even staples of your own that you have noticed with their own "case in point" videos.
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