Man, fuck those guys.
Every now and then we get someone like that. Almost always they're someone who is just kind of bigger / faster / stronger but not enough to really be able to take advantage of it. Like, we've never had a Mark Coleman sized spaz come through. If we did I'd probably just avoid him.
Anyway, for all the other "normal" spazzes / jerkoffs what I *used* to do was simply smother them with position until they wore themselves out, then kind of make fun of them for not "saving some energy" until later. But that didnt always work. Some guys would kid themselves that they were still doing good.
Now, depeneding on just how lame they are, they're going to get some pain and a polite request to stop bending fingers, flailing their limbs and clocking others in the grill and so on.
If that fails to work, fuck it. They're going to get put out of comission for a while. And, usually when you hurt one of those guys bad enough so they can't train they stop coming altogether so everyone wins.
I'm really over being too nice to these guys because I have paid for it with numerous minor injuries. I remember about 18 months ago we had a guy like this (220 pounder) who would complain if me and the one other "advanced" student (both of us 170) went hard on him even though he was neck cranking and pulling fingers and so on. One day we'd both had enough. He started bending my fingers while I had his back so threw on a super hard armbar that made him scream. Not 15 minute later my friend escaped one of his lame ass head grab n' twist moves and threw the guy in one of the sweatest crucifixes I have ever seen. He got up holding his neck and moaning in pain.
The guy left and NEVER returned (he'd already been a 3 month student by then). Mission a-fucking-complished.
Another example (as if this reply were not long enough). About 3 months ago a guy who was like a 4 stripe white belt came to our academy for the first time. He'd been out of training for a while, I guess. After class I got paired up with him and before we rolled we talked a little bit. I asked him why he'd been out of training and he replied that he had a rib broken and hurt his knee. At first I thought it was a car accident or something but he replied that at his old academy a visiting dude who was preparing for a comp came and rolled with him and went nuts and really hurt him.
I was like "wow that really sucks dude, sorry". So of course I figure he's going to want to take it easy. Nope. We shake hands from knees and he FLYING TACKLES me onto my back. Then keeps trying to pass my guard by doing a jumping "baseball slide" into scarf hold. He actually got it during my moment of sheer shock, and clocked me in the head with his knee for good measure.
I was like "holy shit!!" not 15 seconds ago this guy was telling me how someone put him on the DL by going nuts. Uh, IRONY anyone?
Ok, fine. Here we go. I eascape his side control and put him in my guard. Triangle. Tap.
We go again, SAME thing. He goes nuts trying to jump into side control. I'm getting hit with knees / elbows, etc. Into my guard, triangle.
I say to him "Uh maybe you want to slow down and save some energy for later"? Then just for fun I LET him start in side mount. He goes crazy, I escape to my guard again. Same thing "Hey man, relax a little we have all night to train".
It falls on deaf ears. I have a tasmanian devil in my guard. Ok, I tried...
I set up another triangle and as I am closing it up he manages to stick his hand back through and it gets trapped right over his mouth under my leg. Fucker tries to escape by standing up and dropping his knee on my face. Not *placing* it there. DROPPING it.
That's the last straw. I grab the arm that is all the way in and extend it super hard in the standard triangle armbar. But his other hand is trapped so he has no hand to tap with, and his mouth is obstructed by his hand and my leg so he cannot even really say "tap"! He starts moaning in agony and going "Phaap!! PHAAAP!!!" (muffled tap) but I kind of pretend like I can't tell he's submitting. I extend even harder and his elbow pops just a little and he makes this horrible muffled scream so I finally let go.
He's all out of fight now. He quietly gets his shit and leaves. Never saw that fuckstick again either even though he'd said he planned to sign up. My instructor saw the whole thing and didn't blame me a bit. He'd also rather not have idiots around.
