Some BJJ perspective/ insight from Roy Harris

taylonr said:
Our school operates a little differently than others. We have technique nights and sparring nights. After I was in the open class for a couple months I started going to the sparring class. I told my wife "I'm going to start going to the sparring class on Tuesday & Thursday, but if anything comes up with the kids or that I should be at, I'll skip it and go to that.
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I would hate that set up if my school operated like that. So I would be basically have to come four nights a week(2 nights for technique drilling and 2 nights for sparring just to be in a flow). I'm very guarded with my time, I love BJJ, but I don't want to spend most of my free time in the gym either.
 
someoldguy said:
A. How is that new wrestler going to get better if no one will roll with him? Take some initiative, talk to him about his issues and then get your roll on.

B. If your girl/job is unable to tolerate (or is surprised by) a black eye, then you probably haven't been forthright about your inclination to hug sweaty men...

Shake hands and hug all of your training partners and mean it. Ask what they did with their kids when they skipped that class.
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I believe Roy Harris meant when your dead tired and ready to call it a night and the spazzy wrestler ask you at the last minute if you want to roll, and you don't really want to roll with him, he believes it is the smart thing to say NO and call it a night.
 
Man, my girl gets positively thrilled when I get a black eye or busted lip. Maybe she is a bit ghetto though lol
 
Uchi Mata said:
My thoughts exactly. It's all great advice for adults training BJJ in a non-professional way (99.99% of us). I would add:

  • If your significant other or kid really, really wants to do something that requires you to skip BJJ to do it with them, do it gracefully and without a fuss

Relationships are ultimately more important than BJJ, and for me at least my wife knows how important it is for me so she doesn't ask me to skip often.
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Now that is a healthy relationship. I know the importance of family and relationships, but at the same time a healthy person also understand its important to have your own identity and hobbies as well as an individual.
 
2008 said:
I would hate that set up if my school operated like that. So I would be basically have to come four nights a week(2 nights for technique drilling and 2 nights for sparring just to be in a flow). I'm very guarded with my time, I love BJJ, but I don't want to spend most of my free time in the gym either.
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I get what you're saying, I'd say we have a lot of people who pick & choose. So some guys I only see M, Tue, Sat. Other guys I see M, Tue, W. Others only come for technique. Right now I'm doing about 7 hours a week in BJJ, 5 technique & 2 sparring.

I like it personally for a couple reasons. First, I get a full hour dedicated to technique, and they're usually scheduled. So last Wed, the black belt taught on passing open guard. He did it through a series of drills & steps. So 2 minutes practicing one movement, then switch with your partner, 3 minutes on the next step etc. By the end, I feel like I have a decent idea of how to do the move, and I've gotten quite a few reps in.

I also like the hour long sparring class because it doubles as conditioning. If we spend 10 minutes doing warmups, then spend 20-25 minutes learning a technique or two, we have 25 minutes left to spar. That's not bad, but I like having 50 minutes to spar (5-10 minutes stretching before & after.)

Another reason I like it is because when I came in as a new guy, I was able to spend some time learning techniques and focusing purely on that before sparring.

All of these are just personal reasons, and I'm not saying this is the right way or the wrong way, just that I like the way it's set up now.

As for spending more time in the gym, I don't know. If you currently go to 2 classes that mix technique & sparring, you could just as easily come on 1 technique night and one sparring night and get the same workout.
 
2008 said:
Now that is a healthy relationship. I know the importance of family and relationships, but at the same time a healthy person also understand its important to have your own identity and hobbies as well as an individual.
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She's great about it. The only thing that gets on her nerves is when I'm training for a tournament, because then I don't want to go out for drinks or even to eat really (diet and all), plus I'm tired all the time and gone 6 days a week training. So I try to not fight too many tournaments.
 
Nomad Nemesis said:
anyone who mixes the two is genius
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That did not work out so well for Lloyd Irvin & Crew. ZING!

God damn it, someone beat me to it while I was typing it. I dunno, he only said "rapist" while I went the full monty, so maybe it still counts.

Slightly more on topic I guess, he makes a ton of good points. It took me a long time to swallow pride for the first point regarding passing on sparring the wrestler, but once I did I stopped having so many injuries. Though pride still wins out sometimes even now.
 
Dogstarman said:
You must be very young then.
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A. Whats wrong with sparring with a new wrestler? Its important to spar with everyone. If you can't handle him maybe you need to get better.

B. I don't really care about money/carrer I make enough to get by.

C. I don't want to be with a girl that doesn't accept what I do and who I am. Maybe you change yourself for people I don't.
 
mj12 said:
A. Whats wrong with sparring with a new wrestler? Its important to spar with everyone. If you can't handle him maybe you need to get better.

B. I don't really care about money/carrer I make enough to get by.

C. I don't want to be with a girl that doesn't accept what I do and who I am. Maybe you change yourself for people I don't.
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Lol, ok, that is your life. There is nothing wrong with that attitude. As I said I am an older guy and I am looking for longevity.

Nothing is wrong with sparring with a new wrestler. The wrestling game and bjj game are two different types of games with different attitudes. If you are an older guy, it is not a matter of getting better or handling him, it is a matter of a guy knowing the difference between the two games and knowing how to control shit. But go ahead and roll with the explosive wrestler. I did it when I was younger. I just don't like a guy spazzing and going crazy throwing wreck-less elbows and knees because they are not used to being on their back.

You don't care about money? I have two children and a wife in graduate school, whom I am putting through graduate school. In my job if I have a black eye it does not matter. I don't really care to much about that but as an older guy having a black eye isn't really high on my priority. Also, I make enough to be happy and provide for my family. I am glad that you are happy being poor. I need money to provide for my family and live comfortably.

My wife accepts what I do. I don't really do MMA but every once in a while I will get a black eye, fat lip in bjj. My wife doesn't really like to see me with bruises on my face. As for my cauliflower ear she always asks me why I like ugly ears, so now I wear ear protection. It is a matter of maturity.

As I said you are a young guy. I am looking for longevity in this sport. I think Roy was targeting older guys and guys who want to survive in the sport. He wasn't really targeting dude that want to win the mundials with that list.
 
Why does everyone always allude that guys who want to compete and win won't last? Who has placed at Mundials and completely quit jiujitsu? Probably a fairly tiny percentage
 
mj12 said:
A. Whats wrong with sparring with a new wrestler? Its important to spar with everyone. If you can't handle him maybe you need to get better.

B. I don't really care about money/carrer I make enough to get by.

C. I don't want to be with a girl that doesn't accept what I do and who I am. Maybe you change yourself for people I don't.
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We all change ourselves for people with whom we're in relationships. It's called not being a selfish douchebag. If I continue to do everything exactly the same as I did when I was single, then I'm not giving enough to the relationship. On the flip side, I expect my wife to be there for me when I really need it...this mutual commitment is more important than BJJ. I agree that you shouldn't date anyone who expects you to quit BJJ or even stop training a lot, but if you really think you'll ever find anyone who will never ask you to do something for them that inconveniences you, you're a fool. I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant, but making Manichean statements about how you change yourself in no way for people is silly. I find what works best is to give on little things and compromise on big things, for both people. BJJ is definitely a big thing for me, but you're going to end up either compromising at some point or not having a relationship. Your choice I suppose.
 
My girl likes that I have something I really enjoy, and like that is keeps me fit and active.
Prior to BJJ/MMA training my favourite past time was getting hammered.
Hell she met me when I was coming straight out of a class.
She is really supportive.


That said I came home with a few bruises on my face and she is not happy about it. She wants me to take care of myself and doesn't like when I get hurt (didn't actually hurt but it looks like it would).

I recently got a different prespective on this as she has had an issue with her tooth that is giving her headaches, I really don't like knowing she is hurting, it honestly makes me feel bad.
That puts a whole new prespective on it.
 
mj12 said:
A. Whats wrong with sparring with a new wrestler? Its important to spar with everyone. If you can't handle him maybe you need to get better.

B. I don't really care about money/carrer I make enough to get by.

C. I don't want to be with a girl that doesn't accept what I do and who I am. Maybe you change yourself for people I don't.
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Can I ask how old you are?

This is not a shot at you being immature, it is in relation to how priorities changes as you get older.


I don't want to be with someone who demands I change for them, but I do want to be with someone who I want to change for.
 
mj12 said:
A. Whats wrong with sparring with a new wrestler? Its important to spar with everyone. If you can't handle him maybe you need to get better.
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You must be under 18. Your comprehension skills suck. He's not saying don't roll with big scary wrestlers, he's saying listen to your body. If you're too tired to roll safely with someone who in his inexperience is likely to inadvertently cause you injury, don't let your ego get in the way of refusing that roll. He's saying roll smart. And that's good advice.
 
Dogstarman said:
Lol, ok, that is your life. There is nothing wrong with that attitude. As I said I am an older guy and I am looking for longevity.

Nothing is wrong with sparring with a new wrestler. The wrestling game and bjj game are two different types of games with different attitudes. If you are an older guy, it is not a matter of getting better or handling him, it is a matter of a guy knowing the difference between the two games and knowing how to control shit. But go ahead and roll with the explosive wrestler. I did it when I was younger. I just don't like a guy spazzing and going crazy throwing wreck-less elbows and knees because they are not used to being on their back.

You don't care about money? I have two children and a wife in graduate school, whom I am putting through graduate school. In my job if I have a black eye it does not matter. I don't really care to much about that but as an older guy having a black eye isn't really high on my priority. Also, I make enough to be happy and provide for my family. I am glad that you are happy being poor. I need money to provide for my family and live comfortably.

My wife accepts what I do. I don't really do MMA but every once in a while I will get a black eye, fat lip in bjj. My wife doesn't really like to see me with bruises on my face. As for my cauliflower ear she always asks me why I like ugly ears, so now I wear ear protection. It is a matter of maturity.

As I said you are a young guy. I am looking for longevity in this sport. I think Roy was targeting older guys and guys who want to survive in the sport. He wasn't really targeting dude that want to win the mundials with that list.
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I respect that. We just live different lives.
 
Uchi Mata said:
We all change ourselves for people with whom we're in relationships. It's called not being a selfish douchebag. If I continue to do everything exactly the same as I did when I was single, then I'm not giving enough to the relationship. On the flip side, I expect my wife to be there for me when I really need it...this mutual commitment is more important than BJJ. I agree that you shouldn't date anyone who expects you to quit BJJ or even stop training a lot, but if you really think you'll ever find anyone who will never ask you to do something for them that inconveniences you, you're a fool. I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant, but making Manichean statements about how you change yourself in no way for people is silly. I find what works best is to give on little things and compromise on big things, for both people. BJJ is definitely a big thing for me, but you're going to end up either compromising at some point or not having a relationship. Your choice I suppose.
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I agree with you. I am not that selfish but when it comes to (imo) stupid things like "dont sparr because you will have a black eye on your date" I draw the line. And I have a girlfriend but im not married.
 
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