Social Anxiety & Training

hey man i feel you, today was my 3rd bjj class and its the only martial art ive ever done, after being an armchair enthusiast for a few years i decided to give it a go, im 23 and could count the number of times ive been to the gym on one hand, the last time i played sports in 5 years was on an xbox and i smoke like a chimney. needless to say i was really nervous, my cardio sucks and im a noob and on top of that i cant do the intro classes because of work commitments.

you have too realize though, that all those faces staring at you when you walk in have been in the exact same place, so unless they're complete assholes they should be supportive. i dont suffer from anxiety but im not a very confident person, what i have been doing is just trying to focus on myself as much as possible, i think setting goals is key; for example "today i am going to understand the mechanics of technique x that the coach is showing us" etc. i think its probably the best way if you cant afford privates, you have to take all of your mental energy away from whats bothering you and place it on something you wanna get better at, that way if you keep it up you will reach your goals and grow in confidence.

btw if you havent told the coach/owner you definately should im sure they will help you out! remember the customer is always right $$$$$
 
Nobody notices the new guys for at least 3 months. There's that many people that start training, tell everybody in the gym there obsessed and committed and want to be a pro fighter, then give up a month later. You'll probably just be a faceless body until people think your serious.
 
If its a good gym your in safe hands. People will respect you if you train hard, and everyone understands what its like to be a beginner. They were beginners too once. I remember when I first went to a boxing gym. I got my ass handed to me in sparring and the first thing anyone said to be when I got out of the ring was 'That was really brave to spar on your first session. I respect that'. It didnt matter I was crap.

Occasionally there will be dicks, but if your at a gym with those kind of people you dont want to train there anyway.

This is very true. You'll be able to tell what the people are like in gym and the pervading culture of that gym pretty quickly. I've been to a mix of boxing gyms and they have been mostly working class lads and full of dicks but one I went to was really different. The coaching staff were really helpful and the boxers were nice guys would were really welcoming.

By comparison the two MT gyms I went to were both friendly with no attitude. The MMA gyms I've been to have been somewhere in the middle.

Nobody notices the new guys for at least 3 months. There's that many people that start training, tell everybody in the gym there obsessed and committed and want to be a pro fighter, then give up a month later. You'll probably just be a faceless body until people think your serious.

Yeah the cloak of anonymity, there are so many people who come and go that people only really take notice of regulars who've been training a while.
 
Definitely a higher percentage of dicks in boxing. Usually it seems it's just a matter of gaining respect before people are ok with you. You can certainly get a feeling of a gyms mood pretty soon. I certainly prefer a friendly attitude.
 
Yes, you should be more worried if it were a boxing gym. Anxiety nightmare.
 
Great advice in here.

Only thing I can add is that overcoming that anxiety is an enormous part of training. It is a huge challenge, just like learning a new technique. IMO, it is all part of martial arts development.

And I still have anxiety too (although it disappears once the gloves are on).
 
Almost everyone sucks and makes mistakes when they start, it's just part of learning. Everyone goes through it and has to start at the bottom. Train a lot and get better, and you'll become more proficient and confident, and care less about what other people think. Repetition repetition repetition will make it automatic to the point where you don't have to think about it and analyze it, your body will just do it. I don't know about your gym but most people are busy working out and focusing on their own training, so they're not going to be focusing on you anyhow.

You want social anxiety? Try public speaking! I would rather get my ass kicked in the ring than have to give a speech or presentation in front of a few hundred people any day.
 
Take it slow and do not overtrain. According to Herbert Benson MD, lactic acid can trigger anxiety so if you start feeling anxious slow down and do some light cardio to flush it out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Benson
The study of anxiety and lactic acid was in his book, the relaxation response.

Oh, and tell your teacher/coach your situation, they will help you out and break the ice with other students for you.

It's an interesting phenomenon - guys who are absolute beast in the gym and when sparring, can sometimes be terrible fighters.

My kru used to say that when you are nervous and step into the ring for a fight, it's like 50% of your power is gone right out of the gate.
 
OP, I've been training for almost 10 years now and I can still relate with you.

Going to a new gym is awkward at first because there's already a camaraderie amongst the regulars there and it'll seem like you're an outsider at first.

IMO it gets worse when you get better at what you're doing, because then there's an ego issue involved and people want to prove that they're better than you. It's even more pronounced when you're an interdisciplinary fighter.

What I've learned, though, is that if you keep a positive attitude about you, keep your ego in check, and relate to the one thing all fighters have in common, which is the love for the sport and a desire to learn, then you'll have no problems.

This positive mentality is easier said than done, however, and you have to keep showing up to the gym to develop it.

Also, I've noticed that the easiest way to be cool with a fighter you don't know is to spar them, but that's assuming you're already somewhat competent and comfortable with sparring. Fighters who love the sport will be more than happy to pass their knowledge on to you if you show a willingness to learn.
 
Yeah, OP, you don't happen to have like a face tattoo or something, right?

Haha I'll never be that hardcore.

Thanks for all the posts in this thread guys, really motivated me to go yesterday and I'm going tomorrow as well.
 
i'm in the same situation. it was really tough for me to go to my first MA class but once i got in there it felt better and everyone was really supportive. it was karate and everyone seemed pretty chilled out. later when i tried other styles (judo then bjj then boxing) the anxiety wasn't as intense, but the people in the class seemed much more serious and were competitive types so i guess i felt more pressure not to look bad!
it gets better, hang in there :)
 
I had/have this as well. When I first started training, I was more nervous about asking to spar than to actually spar.
 
Haha, I been training for 4 months.
I remember my first day I stepped into the gym, I didn't have a clue of what I was doing. I went in there to learn what I really liked.
It was clear to the guys there that I didn't know anything about Muay Thai... I couldn't even do my stance right or even walk with good stance. I kept at it, and I caught on quick. Every time I step into that door. My ego stays outside, that helped me with the anxiety, its ur ego that makes u wonder what will people think about you.
 
I developed agoraphobia after working an overnight IT support job from home for 2 years. It stopped my training, made me super overweight and miserable. To repair my life I decided to go to Thailand for a few months and basically force myself out of my self imposed prison, so I can empathize with anxiety impacting your training.

My advice is just to dive in, and focus on having dun and improving. As long as you're respectful I'm sure you'll fit in and it will help you get over your anxiety.
 
This is very true. You'll be able to tell what the people are like in gym and the pervading culture of that gym pretty quickly. I've been to a mix of boxing gyms and they have been mostly working class lads and full of dicks.

Most fighting gyms here are mostly full of working class guys but they are all great guys in my experience. Well, a few of the kids a cocky shits, but mostly they were nice. In fact, that was one of the things I was worried about because although I come from a low income family with one parent, I somehow managed to adopt a middle-class sounding accent. To be fair it has come in handy with jobs, but I thought it might make the guys at the gym thing I was a posh tosser. It wasnt really like that at all. One of the nicest guys there was a big fella called disney who im pretty sure was a drug dealer... strange how you get on with people from such different backgrounds.
 
I would disagree that that's true. MMA, being more trendy, has a draw to people who are there to prove something. The type to get a "yellow shirt" ranking and then go immediately adopt an attitude that they need to warn people (especially in front of girls) that they are dangerous mixed martial artists and wear tapout shirts to formal events. Those are the shit-talking judgmental people. I've hardly seen it in the boxing gyms I've personally been in.
 
Back
Top