So, tell me about Cuba

I'm going to Cuba in April for a week for my buddy's wedding. Going to Cayo Santa Maria to be exact, where they've planned the resort and all that bollocks. I think there's 40 of us or near about going, so there's going to be plenty of partying.

Since I'm flying that far, I'm going to stay an extra week. Wanna do some scuba diving, relaxing, maybe head into Havana, and maybe party a little bit more. Mostly diving and relaxing though.

So, where should I go?

Bride and the groom are going to Cayo Coco for an extra week, and want me to come with. I haven't done my research on Caya Coco yet....so let me know if you've been.

Also, I heard lots of Cubans lack tooth brushes, baseball caps, baseballs, and the like, so I'm going to bring a bunch down and give em to kids if I happen to head into Havana or Varadero. Anything else I should bring?

 

Their STD rate is approximately 86% of the population. Dont worry about wasting money on condoms, cocaine kills off more STD's than any other method. I also heard they have a Decepticon living around those parts so be careful.

 

It's still a communist country.
Wear your Soviet jimmy hat.

 

I'm pretty much banking on the fact that the crabs will eat the herpes, and then die of starvation.

I'm going to Cuba here, not Bolivia..

And, we'll make sure to get the decepticon wasted and maybe take out part of Mexico, and the Bible belt in the States. You can thank me later.

 

One of the lowest crime rates in the world and from what I've heard, the people are very welcoming.

 

Sweet!

I've heard good things, but I don't know that many people who dive so I don't know the best dive spots.

I have read a lot of things on the net, but I'd prefer to hear from someone with experience if possible.

 

Actually I will just thank you now. I need to grow out my pubes a little more so the crabs can take over and deal with the bad shit.

This is why you are one of my favorite posters. I think my answer to the Decepticon part would be almost the same.

Anyways my best buddy went years ago when he was 22-23. His sister's fiance was half Cuban and half Brazilian. He spent a month visiting both countries and had nothing but great things to say. He said Brazil was sketchy at times but for the most part just beautiful. The broads loved his white boy look. As far as Cuba he said the broads were a little harder to come by but the drugs and night life were insane fun.

 

You can't get extradited?

I know where i'm fleeing to if i commit a serious crime.

 

Make sure you dont spend the whole time in a tourist resort and see the real Cuba

 

They want you to go with them on their honeymoon?

 

my thread will be of help to you, here ya go:

http://www.sherdog.net/forums/showthread.php?p=71931639

you will have a blast in cuba. make sure to take around 1k$ of spending money and a lot of condoms. the liquor there is dirt cheap. i hear that the keys there are beautiful. if i were you, i'd definitely head over to varadero, havana, cienfuegos, and santiago.

 

Its the location where the bay of pigs happened

 

I played golf with this old jewish guy in FL a couple of years ago. He really liked Cuba because the hookers would let him go down on them.

 

hookers in cuba are inexpensive. just give them a bottle of shampoo, a stick of gum, buy her a beer, and you're in the pussy.

 

Tell us how the twat tastes.

 

did he want crabs on his 'stache and herpes on the mouth?

 

lechon and old milk.

 

Mmm... old milk...

 

I didn't shake his hand after the round.

 

smart man. you can easily catch something that way.