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So like, here I am standing face to face with The Jake

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Hojak, Jul 15, 2002.

  1. Hojak

    Hojak Guest

    Weird, lemme tell ya.

    Me and this guy been talkin for months now, about everything from stuff that matters to stuff that never will. Seriously, this guy and me agree on just about everything, and the stuff we disagree on is usually disagreed upon because of some type of misunderstanding... my ideological carbon copy. My Australian doppleganger. No shit on this.

    Now, here I am standing face to face with the guy... and I'm lookin up at this guy who's built like a tank and who constantly wears that smile that Jack Nicholson wore in The Shining. Doesn't quite talk as funny as I woulda liked, which sucks, but after seeing that the guy could probably crush me like a beer can, I don't think I woulda made much fun of it even if he did.

    He let me try Vegemite last night... I'm sure he'll be posting pictures of some of the face contortions that came thereafter very shortly. Him and Arjukanpo couldn't get enough of it... and the shit is downright STIFF. All of you who've wondered and pained yourselves over what this stuff might taste like... fear no more, for Hojak has come forth from the vile depths of Vegemite Hell to preach the gospel of this shit: it tastes like Teriyaki sauce x 15, overloaded with Soy Sauce and TAR for good measure. They say it's yeast extract. I say it's the type of thing demonic rituals are made of.

    Ate breakfast and dinner with him yesterday, because no one will be seeing him for a good week or so... Arju has his ass locked down, and he ain't complaining. I wish I could post the picture of those two together. They look so cute. You just wanna pinch cheeks till ya puke. So like, yay... The Jake is here and we're not beating on each other or posting war stories. Yet.

    hahahahahaha
     
  2. rtbrouwer

    rtbrouwer Brown Belt

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    good to hear that man...... send my regards to the friendly giant!
     
  3. Warsmer

    Warsmer Purple Belt

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    Built like a tank - eh?
     
  4. VOD

    VOD Guest

    In another three days he'll be standing face to crotch with him. That's only a hunch though.


    Post the pics!
     
  5. Hojak

    Hojak Guest

    Zip it V0D... you're just mad that you're not standing face to crotch with me.

    You're probably also mad that you have no friends.

    And yes, I said "built like a tank"... he ain't the average pencil-necked geekling, that's for damn sure. I bet he could take on 5 average Sherdog-goers without use of a limb or two. Cool guy nonetheless.
     
  6. VOD

    VOD Guest

    What is this vegemite stuff you speak of?
     
  7. The Ronin

    The Ronin Running over Armadillo's since 2003

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    Tell him I said that he can't beat up The Ronin!

    Im built like............ Colossus.
     
  8. Hurtch

    Hurtch Blue Belt

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    That's cool to hear.

    I'm one of those guys The Jake could probably break in half...
     
  9. Milkman Dan

    Milkman Dan Black Belt

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    The Jake was telling me if I lift weights I might have his build to get more chicks.:cool:
     
  10. VOD

    VOD Guest

    Give it a try. It's worth a chance. After a while you start to enjoy lifting. That only comes after you see results though.


    Dammit Hojak. Link me to the vegemite.
     
  11. I'm also curious about this vegemite shit.
     
  12. SEXY BEAST

    SEXY BEAST Guest

    Vegemite = Tar heroine, stop now or else he is going to get you hooked!
    What ever he says do not let him show you how to spit the winkle!:eek:
     
  13. LeftBench

    LeftBench Red Belt

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    Vegemite what the fuck is that
     
  14. Hojak

    Hojak Guest

    Vegemite is some strange shit.

    It's manufactured by Kraft, and has been made in Australia since 1923. These people go ga-ga over the shit. It's a yeast extract, usually utilized in the form of a spread or dip, by Australians. It's got a thick, dark brown / blackish opaque hue, and has the consistency of silly putty. It comes in a small jar (maybe a little bigger than that of the average spice jar) with a yellow label.

    The taste sensation of this shit is undescribable. I dare compare it to the sensation of 50 voo-doo dolls, all dedicated to you, getting smashed in the face simultaneously. The taste of this shit is beyond American comprehension by far. I didn't know yeast could taste so foul, and yet, so compelling at the same time. This stuff is like really, really, REALLY strong Teriyaki sauce... but like, the tang that's usually accompanied by Teriyaki sauce is replaced by a kick in the throat from satan himself. I tried choking down a little bit that I'd put on the tip of my finger, and downed a whole can of pepsi trying to kill off the vile, unearthly aftertaste of this shit. Imagine an entire country spreading this stuff on their toast and muffins.
     
  15. LeftBench

    LeftBench Red Belt

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    That sounds pretty disgusting.
     
  16. 8thDegreeSavage

    8thDegreeSavage Gold Belt

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    Vegemite tastes like the crotch of a wild outback hoe who has been treking through the brush for two weeks.
     
  17. treelo

    treelo //Do something here

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    why is Jake in the US?

    did he come over to see Karate? or is he here for business or what?
     
  18. cmv

    cmv Green Belt

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    in other words its good for you. no american could withstand its awesome power.
     
  19. Waylander

    Waylander Guest

    If one were so inclined, where would one get this vegemite?
     
  20. Hojak

    Hojak Guest

    You can't get it in the states.
     

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