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Sleepwalk's "Watching Wrestling With Non-Fans"

Discussion in 'Pro Wrestling Discussion' started by sleepwalk, Jan 22, 2017.

  1. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    He's the first one I heard on Keeping It 100. Almost the exact same wording, "This wellness policy ain't doin' these guys any favors. Back on our day, man, we were all jacked."
     
  2. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    The long-suffering wife...

    Sees Roman in Hobbes and Shaw trailer:
    "Hey! That's our guy!"

    Watches The IIconics on RAW:
    "I think I found someone I hate more than Bayley... and that one [Billie Kaye] has spent time on the pole."

    After seeing the Goldberg/Undertaker lowlights:
    "Geez! How the fuck do they do that without dying?"

    After being shown what the jackhammer is supposed to look like:
    "So what went wrong on the other one? He decided, 'Undertaker's a dick. I feel like killing him?'"
     
  3. Dr Strange Rex The Strange King Platinum Member

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    Tell her I’m not a geek, Sleep.
     
  4. GoldenAzazel General Manager of PWD 2020 PWD Poster of the Year Platinum Member

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    Did you guys not watch Double or Nothing then? @sleepwalk
     
  5. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    I watched Buy In. She wouldn't have gotten through more than a minute of the battle royal, Cornette bless her heart.

    I tried.
    She said, "Pfft! You're all geeks. Being Puerto Rican doesn't change that."
     
  6. Rebelfett P4P Worst Mod on Sherdog Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    <{anton}>
    Mrs sleep bless
     
  7. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Okay. Watched a bit of NXT and AEW with Mrs Sleepwalk.
    Like to hear 'bout it? Here it go.

    On NXT in general:
    "It's like the upside down of WWE. There's no talking or story."
    "Is this where the little guys wrestle? I get the feeling they're all smaller guys."

    On Candice LaRae staredown w/ Shayna Baszler:
    Wrestler Barbie looks little compared to the butch bitch and her tweaker cronies.

    On Matt Riddle:
    "Who's this guy? Mr Millennial?"
    "Matt Riddle. He fought UFC before this."
    "What happened?"
    "Was on a four fight win streak before they vacated three of them because he pissed hot for weed. "
    "For weed? How the hell is that cheating?"

    On the AEW announce team:
    "Is that guy a Mysterio doppelganger?"
    "No."
    "But he's got a mask on."
    "Yeah."
    "That other guy reminds me of Droopy Dog."
    "He's a wrestling broadcaster legend who has been fighting Bell's palsy for decades."
    "I'm a fucking scumbag."

    On Cody Rhodes vs Sammy Guevara:
    "He's got a girl coming out with him. That means that there's gonna be drama."
    "Geez. He looks like a serial killer Ken doll."
    "Is this other guy wearing a fucking panda head? He just seems gay and retarded."
    (After the Spanish Fly) "Shit! Go back so we can see that again!"

    On referee, Aubrey Edwards:
    "She's trying too hard to make it look like she's focused and ready. She's staring a hole in the wrestlers and got her hands doing this thing looks like she going to do capoeira."
    "This bitch's face irks me like Chanel West Coast's laugh."

    On Jericho's beatdown on Cody:
    "This guy kinda looks like Keifer Sutherland."
    (Announcers mention Jericho)
    "THAT's Chris Jericho?! Is he roiding or just get fat?"

    On MJF:
    "I don't like this guy already."

    On Brandon Cutler:
    "Dude. I was on your side until I saw those pants."
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2019
  8. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Wife just got a look at Rhea Ripley.
    "Whoa. I guess they're going for 'inclusive' here."
    "She was prettier before she went for the Mad Max gimmick."
    "Whatever. I'm checking her for an Adam's apple."
     
  9. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Watching NXT with Mrs Sleepwalk:
    "Remember "The Wedding Singer" when he calls out "everyone at table nine?"
    "Yeah?"
    "That's like everyone in this audience."
     
  10. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Wife watching Cody Rhodes vs Ricky Starks

    "Ugh, it's creepy serial killer Ken doll."

    "Aww. The pink dick patch is creeping me out." (Regarding Cody's tights)

    "Oscar the Grouch wants his trash can lid back." (Regarding the TNT Championship belt)

    "What's this guy's gimmick? He look like the dude from 'Breakin'" (Regarding Ricky Starks)
     
  11. Rebelfett P4P Worst Mod on Sherdog Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    [​IMG]
     
  12. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Explained who Marty Jannetty is/was to the long-suffering wife and then read his social media post to her:

    "Hold up. What does he mean by 'first time he made someone disappear?'"
     
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  13. Rebelfett P4P Worst Mod on Sherdog Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    <Lmaoo><Lmaoo><Lmaoo>
     
  14. Dr Strange Rex The Strange King Platinum Member

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    It takes practice to make someone disappear, Sleep.
     
  15. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Not if you're Party Marty, apparently.
     
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  16. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    "That is one thick, flexible bitch."
    -Mrs Sleepwalk (regarding a Perfect Plex by Toni Storm)
     
  17. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Watching NXT with wife tonight:

    Toni Storm & Ember Moon should be called "Team Thickness."

    August Gray vs Timothy Thatcher appears to be homoerotically charged ("gay as hell" to quote directly.)

    Leon Ruff looks like mini "Jamaican guy from New Day" You mean Kofi? Yeah. Did you know they did a fake Jamaican gimmick back in the day? He's not?
     
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  18. Rebelfett P4P Worst Mod on Sherdog Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    <PandaHi75>
     
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  19. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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  20. sleepwalk pork roll, egg and cheese belt Platinum Member

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    Long-suffering wife:
    "So which one is Luke Perry's son?"
    "The little one with the curly hair but not the child-sized one with curly hair."
    "They're a tag team?"
    "Yeah but they have a dinosaur."
    "Is that what he's supposed to be?"
    "Yup."
    "Huh."
     

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