Way late with these but...
My WrestleMania 34 edition!
Location: My super mark cousin's apartment.
His wife has gotten into wrestling, complete with Nattie's "Paws out, Claws out" cat lady T-shirt and full on Finn Balor crush. So the focus will be on some new components:
Cousin's wife's friend who came over for wine
Cousin's smarky friend (technically a fan but had some ignorant comments)
Cousin's BFF's wife with SJW tendencies
SJW's very not SJW dad
Women's Battle Royale
Me: Am I the only one seeing This?
Random: What?
Me: Does the trophy look like anything to anybody else but me?
Smark: Fallopian tubes?!
Wine friend: Oh my god! Yes it does!
Cousin's wife: That is so totally a ueterus. I can't unsee that now.
Rollins' White Walker entrance
SJW: Is he the Night King? I'm with him.
Miz's "augmented reality" entrance
Wine friend: How are they doing that? Can they see that at the place?
The room: Finn's coming out last. He's bringing out the demon and going over.
Balor's Rainbow Warrior entrance
Whole room: *sound of ten eyebrows raising in unison*
SJW: I change my pick. That is awesome.
Wine friend: Is he...
Me: Nah, but there has been some speculation. He's with Charley Caruso.
Cousin: Really? That lucky little bastard!
Cousin's wife: *Takes time out from drooling over Finn to get jealous.* Hey!
Me: Wait. No. Cathy Kelly. It's Cathy Kelly he's playing Legos with, supposedly.
Cousin: But still! Lucky Irish eight pack ab havin' bastard.
Wine friend: Why were people thinking he was... I mean, before this?
Me: He's always been awkward and, supposedly, barely legal Becky Lynch was throwing herself at him and he pretty much blew it off.
SJW's dad: Confirmed.
Asuka and Charlotte stand face-to-throat
Wine friend: Now that don't even seem fair. Look at the size of the one girl.
The room: Wait until Alexa and Nia.
John Cena run to the back
The room: Wup. Undertaker's in the building John. You got a match.
Wine friend: Undertaker is still around? I watched him when I was a kid.
US Title match
Smark: Rusev is so over right now. He has to win this. He deserves to finally have his WrestleMania Moment (TM).
Me: Like when he rode into the arena on a tank and had a 40 man color guard escort him to the ring?
Smark: That was different.
Ronda Rousey Arrival Match
*We were all just pleasantly surprised with how well it went.*
New Day entrance
Wine friend: Wait up. This is a tag team match. How is there three of them?
Cousin: Only two are going to wrestle.
Wine friend: Which one?
Cousin: They figure it out when they get there.
Wine friend: And what's the other one gonna do? Is he gonna cheat like in they would do in the old days or is he just gonna hang out with the midgets?
Bludgeon Brothers entrance
Wine friend: What is that!? Scary as hell. I'm not even gonna lie.
Replay of Bludgeon Bros ring steps spot on Xavier
Wine friend: Oh my god! Why would ever try to fight them again?
Undertaker vs John Cena
Wine friend: How you gonna get scared when you talking shit about somebody so they fight and then they show up? You called him out. How you gonna get scared now?
Ring apron powerbomb spot on D-Bry
Wine friend: Oh! Were they supposed to do that? That looks painful. Like for real painful.
Cousin: It's the hardest part of the ring. It's one of the reasons why Kevin Owens is so dangerous.
Me: *Disapproving stare with head shake*
Cousin: *stares back and silently mouths "Fuck you"*
Nia vs Alexa
Wine friend: Oh hell no. That's not even fair. Why would you talk shit to somebody that much bigger than you? Just run.
Nakamura entrance
Wine friend: So what is he, like, Michael Jackson but Asian?
Braun's partner's name is revealed as Nicholas
The room: That's a boy?
Nicholas tags in
SJW's dad in a Rick Grimes voice: "Coral, stay in the house!"
Brock vs Roman
Wine friend: He needs to find a new move because that one's not working.
The room: Geez, that's a lot of blood.
Smark: Roman hasn't figured out how to blade.