Sleepwalk's "Watching Wrestling With Non-Fans"

Hopefully, at our Wrestlemania get together, there will be multiple wives. Those interactions are ususlly the best.
 
Wife watching Smackdown on 03/27/2018

After my explaining the paradox of popular Rusev getting into the US Title match but fans getting sick of crowded matches:
"Sometimes, less is more."

AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura locker room segment:
"The guy in blue; I'm trying to think of what chick he reminds me of."

Riott Squad comes out:
"Marilyn Manson had a daughter? Who's the weird looking chick?"

After my explaining the Moolah controversy:
"That was way too much backstory. I love you, though."

Seeing the Bludgeon Brothers coming to the ring:
"What in the hell is THAT?!"
 
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Way late with these but...
My WrestleMania 34 edition!

Location: My super mark cousin's apartment.

His wife has gotten into wrestling, complete with Nattie's "Paws out, Claws out" cat lady T-shirt and full on Finn Balor crush. So the focus will be on some new components:
Cousin's wife's friend who came over for wine
Cousin's smarky friend (technically a fan but had some ignorant comments)
Cousin's BFF's wife with SJW tendencies
SJW's very not SJW dad

Women's Battle Royale
Me: Am I the only one seeing This?
Random: What?
Me: Does the trophy look like anything to anybody else but me?
Smark: Fallopian tubes?!
Wine friend: Oh my god! Yes it does!
Cousin's wife: That is so totally a ueterus. I can't unsee that now.

Rollins' White Walker entrance
SJW: Is he the Night King? I'm with him.

Miz's "augmented reality" entrance
Wine friend: How are they doing that? Can they see that at the place?
The room: Finn's coming out last. He's bringing out the demon and going over.

Balor's Rainbow Warrior entrance
Whole room: *sound of ten eyebrows raising in unison*
SJW: I change my pick. That is awesome.
Wine friend: Is he...
Me: Nah, but there has been some speculation. He's with Charley Caruso.
Cousin: Really? That lucky little bastard!
Cousin's wife: *Takes time out from drooling over Finn to get jealous.* Hey!
Me: Wait. No. Cathy Kelly. It's Cathy Kelly he's playing Legos with, supposedly.
Cousin: But still! Lucky Irish eight pack ab havin' bastard.
Wine friend: Why were people thinking he was... I mean, before this?
Me: He's always been awkward and, supposedly, barely legal Becky Lynch was throwing herself at him and he pretty much blew it off.
SJW's dad: Confirmed.

Asuka and Charlotte stand face-to-throat
Wine friend: Now that don't even seem fair. Look at the size of the one girl.
The room: Wait until Alexa and Nia.

John Cena run to the back
The room: Wup. Undertaker's in the building John. You got a match.
Wine friend: Undertaker is still around? I watched him when I was a kid.

US Title match
Smark: Rusev is so over right now. He has to win this. He deserves to finally have his WrestleMania Moment (TM).
Me: Like when he rode into the arena on a tank and had a 40 man color guard escort him to the ring?
Smark: That was different.

Ronda Rousey Arrival Match
*We were all just pleasantly surprised with how well it went.*

New Day entrance
Wine friend: Wait up. This is a tag team match. How is there three of them?
Cousin: Only two are going to wrestle.
Wine friend: Which one?
Cousin: They figure it out when they get there.
Wine friend: And what's the other one gonna do? Is he gonna cheat like in they would do in the old days or is he just gonna hang out with the midgets?

Bludgeon Brothers entrance
Wine friend: What is that!? Scary as hell. I'm not even gonna lie.

Replay of Bludgeon Bros ring steps spot on Xavier
Wine friend: Oh my god! Why would ever try to fight them again?

Undertaker vs John Cena
Wine friend: How you gonna get scared when you talking shit about somebody so they fight and then they show up? You called him out. How you gonna get scared now?

Ring apron powerbomb spot on D-Bry
Wine friend: Oh! Were they supposed to do that? That looks painful. Like for real painful.
Cousin: It's the hardest part of the ring. It's one of the reasons why Kevin Owens is so dangerous.
Me: *Disapproving stare with head shake*
Cousin: *stares back and silently mouths "Fuck you"*

Nia vs Alexa
Wine friend: Oh hell no. That's not even fair. Why would you talk shit to somebody that much bigger than you? Just run.

Nakamura entrance
Wine friend: So what is he, like, Michael Jackson but Asian?

Braun's partner's name is revealed as Nicholas
The room: That's a boy?

Nicholas tags in
SJW's dad in a Rick Grimes voice: "Coral, stay in the house!"

Brock vs Roman
Wine friend: He needs to find a new move because that one's not working.
The room: Geez, that's a lot of blood.
Smark: Roman hasn't figured out how to blade.
 
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Explained to wife about Roman Reigns and stepping down to concentrate on his health. Later, watching RAW on DVR:

"Whoa! That's the one who has leukemia? He's on like every show. Aw. We like him, too."
:(
 
Watching SmackDown with wife when The IIconics come out.
Me: You're going to hate these two.
Her: Are they trying to replace the twins?
Me: Not entirely. These girls are more annoying. They cut up the other girls but they do it without wit or charm.
Her: So they're lame so that people will hate them more.
Me: Great job, baby!
Her: They're even wearing red like The Bellas.
 
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Watched Impact! last night with the wife on the couch next to me. Started watching SmackDown tonight.
Wife says, "I dislike the people you watched last night more than these people."
 
Watched the NXT callup "Coming Soon" video with the long-suffering wife. Her reactions to...

Lars Sullivan
Her: "Lard Ass?"
Me: "Really?"
Her: "It literally says 'Lard' on his ass"
Me: "Lars. It says 'Lars' on his ass."
Her: "They should have thought that out better."

Lacey Evans
Her: "Is she like a pin-up?"
Me: "Yeah. She was a marine so they worked off of that."
Her: "Okay. No. I want to like her but the voice is just... no. Props to her for being a marine, though."

Nikki Cross
Her: "No. I just don't think she can pull it off. The crazy girl bit."

EC3
Her, upon seeing EC3 pulling back his shirt cuffs to reveal neon yellow wristbands: "Pssh, ha!"
Her upon seeing EC3 taunting opponents and powerbombing one into a ladder with CFO$ rap in the background: "Okay. He's looking like one of the famous guys."
Her upon seeing close up on his face: "He looks like the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond."

Heavy Machinery
Her: "Who are these guys supposed to be?"
Me: "Big one was All-American at Arizona State. Short one wrestled to a bronze at the Pan-Am's and deadlifts 800lbs."
Her: "Whoa."
Me: "Combined weight of 640lbs."
Her: "Jesus!... wait... Is he doing 'The Worm?'"
 
Definitely one of the GOAT PWD threads.
 
Best friend (former fan) reaction on NXT callup video.

Lars Sullivan
I like Lars.

Lacey Evans
Lacey is hot with muscles, I dig her style, but if a punch to the face is her finisher...she needs some more work.

Heavy Machinery
The tag team machinery guys. Look like a bag of fat fuck. Don't like the style or the moves I saw.

Nikki Cross
Then that Cross chick. I get the gimmick, not sure if she can pull it off, would have liked to see more wrestling moves, can't determine if she has ring skill or not.

EC3
EC3 guy looks cool. Needs smaller traps to be more proportional and I don't know how he will pass the drug test...but that aside, I will green light him.
 
Watching Roman Reigns' return with the long-suffering wife:
"You can tell all your wrestling geek friends I was crying watching this. I think that he's my favorite character. He's not bad to look at and he's awesome."
 
Watching Roman Reigns' return with the long-suffering wife:
"You can tell all your wrestling geek friends I was crying watching this. I think that he's my favorite character. He's not bad to look at and he's awesome."
#oneofus
 
Just finished last night's RAW with the wife.
Her: "Who's that guy?"
Me: "That's Dave Bautista."
Her: "And what's his deal?"
Me: "He's Drax."
Her: "Drax?"
Me: "From Guardians of the Galaxy. Drax."
Her: "What? What's he doing there?"
Me: "He was a wrestler."
Her: "Really? I guess he's built for it."
 
My dad on...

Chris Jericho: "Is this fa**ot with the scarf a good guy or a bad guy?"
"Right now, he's a bad guy."
"Does he have that scarf when he's a good guy?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."

Braun Strowman: "Is that The Mountain?"
"No. He does strongman games, though."
"I think that's The Mountain."
"Dad, it's not The Mountain."
"We'll see about that."

Nikki Bella: "Holy shit! Who's this? They let her dance like that?"
"That's Nikki Bella One half of the Bella Twins."
"Where's her twin?"
"Out pregnant."
"Good for her. When's this one gonna get pregnant."
"Probably never. Her boyfriend is like the Hulk Hogan of this era and says he doesn't want to go through marriage again and doesn't want kids. They have the other girl wrestlers give her shit for it."
"What?! They can't do that!... Nah. I don't like that. That's not fucking right. I don't care if it's fake or not."

Brock Lesnar: "Brock Lesnar's doing wrasslin' now?"
"Yeah. He did wrestling first."
"Oh yeah. That's right... Hurtin'."

John Cena: "You said they tested for steroids now? Bullshit. They ain't testin' this guy."

In stitches at this
 
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Wife said she saw this and immediately thought of wrestling.
"I'm ruined. I fucking hate you."
 
Showed my best friend that Kofi was champ and Kevin Owens was the heel challenger.

"This 'wellness policy' has got to go. They need to bring back roids. It would probably go a long way towards these guys being able to recover each day and maybe half of them wouldn't look like such shit."
 
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You're best friends with Superstar Billy Graham? <TheWire1>
 
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