Single people , are you scared of loving again ?

[Mike]

Let’s stay strong buddy. I’m with you

Thanks one day at a time. When it gets overwhelming I just stop doing ALL the positive things I was doing. Trying to work on that. Back on meds and probably back in therapy is the first step.

 

[Crawler89]

not really

people just dont come into my life at all, and i dont seem to be cool or good looking enough for people to want me to come into theirs

I have body dismorphia and issues pretty hard due to extreme weight loss, so alot of lose skin and scars from surgeries etc so I also dont expect anyone would want to see me naked/fuck me cause of it

I consider myself a weird living anomaly. I dont really belon anywhere, have any friends or realy fit in anywhere. I train 5 days a week, 6'3, successful enough (own house, car).

But its like I dont really exist

 

[eddymotto]

Thanks one day at a time. When it gets overwhelming I just stop doing ALL the positive things I was doing. Trying to work on that. Back on meds and probably back in therapy is the first step.

sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. Sending positive thoughts

 

[Tankeray]

Also, anyone who wants to vent about anything at all- drop a pm anytime

not really

people just dont come into my life at all, and i dont seem to be cool or good looking enough for people to want me to come into theirs

I have body dismorphia and issues pretty hard due to extreme weight loss, so alot of lose skin and scars from surgeries etc so I also dont expect anyone would want to see me naked/fuck me cause of it

I consider myself a weird living anomaly. I dont really belon anywhere, have any friends or realy fit in anywhere. I train 5 days a week, 6'3, successful enough (own house, car).

But its like I dont really exist

Hang in there bro- the fact that you are on your own two feet and training is great-just keep going with that momentum, don’t worry about other people at the moment. Focus on you, bro

 

[pugilistico]

I've been devastated and heart broken and thought I would never love again. But I learned that love isn't loving another person. It's cliche but it's true. Love is love for all of mother nature's creation. We're a speck upon a speck in the infinite vastness of the universe. We're here to appreciate the splendor of it all.

 

[Crawler89]

Also, anyone who wants to vent about anything at all- drop a pm anytime


Hang in there bro- the fact that you are on your own two feet and training is great-just keep going with that momentum, don’t worry about other people at the moment. Focus on you, bro

Bruh ive been training for 7 years haha. I lost over 100kgs from when I was fat
its lose skin and scars but im at the gym 5 days aw eek
im 32

I dont exist haha

 

[kenetics]

She was 53. Always took care of herself, ate right and exercised, but cancer didn’t care.

Sorry for your loss. It's crazy that cancer basically appears to be a genetic thing. They says environment plays a role but it's hard for me to believe that when healthy people get it.

 

[Mike]

sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. Sending positive thoughts

That's ok it's been a rough life tbh. Thank you though, I appreciate it. Nothing to do but keep trying to make it better.

 

[Hollywood Jack]

Thanks one day at a time. When it gets overwhelming I just stop doing ALL the positive things I was doing. Trying to work on that. Back on meds and probably back in therapy is the first step.

I wish my brother would do the same. Good luck to you, Mike...

 

[pugilistico]

not really

people just dont come into my life at all, and i dont seem to be cool or good looking enough for people to want me to come into theirs

I have body dismorphia and issues pretty hard due to extreme weight loss, so alot of lose skin and scars from surgeries etc so I also dont expect anyone would want to see me naked/fuck me cause of it

I consider myself a weird living anomaly. I dont really belon anywhere, have any friends or realy fit in anywhere. I train 5 days a week, 6'3, successful enough (own house, car).

But its like I dont really exist

I'm sad when I see stuff like this. Especially considering I'm like half your size, I'm sure I make less money than you, and I'm not as fit as I used to be. I'm definitely no model. But I meet people all the time and I found beautiful women to come into my life just by happenstance. The difference here is attitude. I'm sure you're a good guy and you have to believe in the good as well.

I used to not want to bother people and saw myself as a burden but I learned to be happy to have people in my life and assume that they are happy to have me in theirs. Put yourself out there my dude.

 

[Crawler89]

I'm sad when I see stuff like this. Especially considering I'm like half your size, I'm sure I make less money than you, and I'm not as fit as I used to be. I'm definitely no model. But I meet people all the time and I found beautiful women to come into my life just by happenstance. The difference here is attitude. I'm sure you're a good guy and you have to believe in the good as well.

I used to not want to bother people and saw myself as a burden but I learned to be happy to have people in my life and assume that they are happy to have me in theirs. Put yourself out there my dude.

Thats the problem as well. I got no real clue on how to "put myself out there" or pick up on social queues and things.
People expect me to be some kind of ogre that never ventures out of the house, but im out all weekend with my dog at the beaches, parks, walking trails, jetskiing, swimming, markets, festivals etc

I dont really like night clubs and never have - I prefer going to shows
I also got no clue on picking up on peoples social signals or queues.
I heavily expect im a burden and if I approach people theyll be disgusted or run away or worse.
Like at the gym im one of the fittest there these days, but I also still feel like I don't belong. No one wnats the 6'3 dude in black who likes music way too much to talk to em


Online dating doesn't work either because its just all so grotesque and feels lame.
Plus inevidetly chicks send nudes, want you to do hte same and im like "i dont even like taking photos without my top off due to the scars from the surgery + loose skin I still need"...plus I fucking work in I.T and privacy/security is a pretty fucking big concern for me so they immediatly brush you off

The happenstance thing never happens either. like people literally never come into my life. People talk about how they met people or friends and im just like "...what..how...i do those things all the time"

It's like im a ghost.

Im fine with living alone. I got a good dog.
It would be nice to have someone though and to feel safe and desired or wanted.

everyones talking to multiple people too and just brush you off when your busy doing your thing or working etc.

Im pretty much an incel and not meant for this world, which is fine. i'll jkust buy books, records, hang out with my dog until im done

 

[bean88]

22 and still a virgin - doesn't really bother me at the moment, but I do think there will be an expectation that I should have had sex by now in the next few years from women.

I've had 2 or 3 girls interested in me but I'm not attracted to them - and I can't bring myself to use someone for sex just to get my rocks off.

Bro plough anything that moves to get some practice in you’re 22

 

[pugilistico]

Thats the problem as well. I got no real clue on how to "put myself out there" or pick up on social queues and things.
People expect me to be some kind of ogre that never ventures out of the house, but im out all weekend with my dog at the beaches, parks, walking trails, jetskiing, swimming, markets, festivals etc

I dont really like night clubs and never have - I prefer going to shows
I also got no clue on picking up on peoples social signals or queues.
I heavily expect im a burden and if I approach people theyll be disgusted or run away or worse.
Like at the gym im one of the fittest there these days, but I also still feel like I don't belong. No one wnats the 6'3 dude in black who likes music way too much to talk to em


Online dating doesn't work either because its just all so grotesque and feels lame.
Plus inevidetly chicks send nudes, want you to do hte same and im like "i dont even like taking photos without my top off due to the scars from the surgery + loose skin I still need"...plus I fucking work in I.T and privacy/security is a pretty fucking big concern for me so they immediatly brush you off

The happenstance thing never happens either. like people literally never come into my life. People talk about how they met people or friends and im just like "...what..how...i do those things all the time"

It's like im a ghost.

Im fine with living alone. I got a good dog.
It would be nice to have someone though and to feel safe and desired or wanted.

everyones talking to multiple people too and just brush you off when your busy doing your thing or working etc.

Im pretty much an incel and not meant for this world, which is fine. i'll jkust buy books, records, hang out with my dog until im done

Honestly, your life is kind of what I want for myself ultimately. I want to settle down at a beach by myself with a dog or two. I would just surf and spearfish and enjoy nature.

Seeking happiness through other people isn't going to get what people think they want. If you have to be happy by yourself, and if you're happy, why even need a partner?

But it seems you're not truly happy, since you want a partner to share those moments with you. And you use language that is quite self-deprecating.

Where do you live? You're pretty active and you do a lot of things where there are a lot of people around. Surely somebody must at least hi when you're walking your dog or at a festival.
I've met women just by saying hi while in line or something. I don't expect anything from it but sometimes it'll turn into a conversation and sometimes you end up exchanging numbers and sometimes you'll end up dating.

Next time you can do that. Just smile and say "hi." Don't expect anything. Either them to welcome you or to shun you, because either of those things can happen. Don't internalize people's reactions to you because their perception of you is projections of their biases, and your perception of their perception of you is a projection of your bias. And you seem heavily biased against yourself. You may think you're a burden, but I'm sure somebody will meet you and think, 'That UberKnee guy is pretty damn cool. I want to hang out with him more.'

It's a slow process, but someday you can open up your heart to new people and their stories. I hope you can make connections, lovers, friends.

And fuck dating apps.

 

[Contempt]

22 and still a virgin - doesn't really bother me at the moment, but I do think there will be an expectation that I should have had sex by now in the next few years from women.

I've had 2 or 3 girls interested in me but I'm not attracted to them - and I can't bring myself to use someone for sex just to get my rocks off.

Have you tried guys instead? Maybe batting for the other team would motivate you?

It's all good sherbro, this is the gheyberry; it's a safe space.

 

[I am your actual father]

"Love" is for suckers.

 

[Takes_Two_To_Tango]

If it happens it happens, I don't really search for it. It should be natural and unpredictable.

 

[MeatWagon06]

We are now in a well confused modern society now , just came out of a 5 months fréquentation with a girl and god damn I wasn’t missing the dating scene , things are very overwhelmed and complicated these days. Lot of love injured people in the 30s.

 

[eddymotto]

Thats the problem as well. I got no real clue on how to "put myself out there" or pick up on social queues and things.
People expect me to be some kind of ogre that never ventures out of the house, but im out all weekend with my dog at the beaches, parks, walking trails, jetskiing, swimming, markets, festivals etc

I dont really like night clubs and never have - I prefer going to shows
I also got no clue on picking up on peoples social signals or queues.
I heavily expect im a burden and if I approach people theyll be disgusted or run away or worse.
Like at the gym im one of the fittest there these days, but I also still feel like I don't belong. No one wnats the 6'3 dude in black who likes music way too much to talk to em


Online dating doesn't work either because its just all so grotesque and feels lame.
Plus inevidetly chicks send nudes, want you to do hte same and im like "i dont even like taking photos without my top off due to the scars from the surgery + loose skin I still need"...plus I fucking work in I.T and privacy/security is a pretty fucking big concern for me so they immediatly brush you off

The happenstance thing never happens either. like people literally never come into my life. People talk about how they met people or friends and im just like "...what..how...i do those things all the time"

It's like im a ghost.

Im fine with living alone. I got a good dog.
It would be nice to have someone though and to feel safe and desired or wanted.

everyones talking to multiple people too and just brush you off when your busy doing your thing or working etc.

Im pretty much an incel and not meant for this world, which is fine. i'll jkust buy books, records, hang out with my dog until im done

sending you some positive energy

this is a MMA forum and all but I recommend you seek a professional therapist.

depending on your background you may or may not feel a stigma about getting professional help.

I have friends who have done it and it has made a positive difference for them. my current gf has been seeing a shrink (her term) for years. the shrink is almost her life coach and mentor now.

best of luck whatever you decide to do

 

[Versez]

 

[boingyman]

Some motivation