Shirataki noodles are the devil's food

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Brampton_Boy, May 11, 2015.

  1. Brampton_Boy

    Brampton_Boy Douchey Mc Douche

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Messages:
    6,902
    Likes Received:
    5,549
    Location:
    Brampton, Ontario
    0 calories they said...
    0 carbs they said...
    High in fiber they said...

    What they didn't say - if you eat a package, you will empty the contents of your stomach in the gym parking lot.

    For those that have never heard of the noodles, they are a yam based noodle that is basically made up of insoluble fiber.

    After reading rave reviews, I decided to give it a try as a pseudo ramen noodle substitute.

    Pros: It actually tasted pretty good. It is a bit chewier than regular noodles, but if I didn't know what it was, I would just assume it was slightly under cooked rice noodles.

    Cons: It cannot be digested (hence the 0 calorie part). When I threw up, the noodle had not been broken down at all. It now feels like I have swallowed a basketball, and I can barely move.

    With that being said, I will definitely eat it again. My mistake was that I ate the entire package at once (600 grams worth), so I think it was just too much fiber for my system to handle in a single meal.

    For low carb fiends or people trying to reduce calories, it is certainly an interesting alternative to pasta. It can be purchased at most Asian and health food stores. Pretty cheap as well - I paid $1.99 for each package.

    Just thought I would share my misfortune.
     
  2. Reyesnuthugr

    Reyesnuthugr Dominick Reyes Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,300
    Likes Received:
    3,998
    Location:
    West Coast / Portland
    Bramps, you're the best. Great thread, already



    (Will try)
     
  3. zackryder

    zackryder Long Island Iced Z Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2012
    Messages:
    11,236
    Likes Received:
    613
    Location:
    Long Island, New York
    wat? stop contradicting urself.

    [email protected] first you said it was the devils food
    -then you gave it a try and liked the taste
    - then ur horrified @ the results
    -now you said your gonna try it again?!?

    also m disappointed @ the lack of illuminati/religious reference to the noodles :(
     
  4. kuromusha

    kuromusha LONZO LOOMS 2019

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    12,416
    Likes Received:
    7,427
    Location:
    Orange County
    I got some at Sprout's. Never again.....
     
  5. lakersfan45

    lakersfan45 That's sardo! No mr, accent on the do!

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Messages:
    7,953
    Likes Received:
    32,417
    Location:
    socal
    I was thinking about trying them. Was gonna make some stir fry with tofu veggies and these noodles
     
  6. Shael

    Shael Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2013
    Messages:
    11,795
    Likes Received:
    4,920
    Dem ho's look like dey made outta plastic
     
  7. lakersfan45

    lakersfan45 That's sardo! No mr, accent on the do!

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2011
    Messages:
    7,953
    Likes Received:
    32,417
    Location:
    socal
    Can u elaborate ?
     
  8. odog

    odog A cat trapped in a dog's body

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    12,932
    Likes Received:
    8,287
    Location:
    Terminal City
    So let me get this right. You decided to eat a food product that knew COULD NOT BE DIGESTED and decided to eat 600 grams of it. That is over 1.3 pounds. I don't even know what to say.
     
  9. Brampton_Boy

    Brampton_Boy Douchey Mc Douche

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Messages:
    6,902
    Likes Received:
    5,549
    Location:
    Brampton, Ontario
    Thank you... perhaps I will share more of my food related mishaps in the future :icon_chee (Did you know Walmart sells Skittles in kilogram bags? Did you know if you eat that kilogram bag in a day, your gums will bleed and you will throw up every color of the rainbow?)

    Well, devil's food might be a bit of hyperbole on my end. I have issues with moderation (see above with respect to skittles), so eating the full bag was my fault. I have honestly never been that nauseated though - it was worse than having the Norwalk virus.

    I was struggling to make it back to my car, but couldn't make it. I basically keeled over and vomited all over the ground/my pants. And since I live in the greatest city on earth, the people around me gave me a wide birth and ignored the fact that I may have been dying.
     
  10. kuromusha

    kuromusha LONZO LOOMS 2019

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    12,416
    Likes Received:
    7,427
    Location:
    Orange County
    Stir fried a bag of them. Stomach felt queasy about a couple hours later. ***** my brains out.

    Maybe I ate too much but a bag seemed like a good amount for dinner.
     
  11. soggyfist

    soggyfist Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Messages:
    11,421
    Likes Received:
    671
    Location:
    MD
    Tried them a few years ago and it was gross. That was a one and done.

    [​IMG]
     
  12. spikemma

    spikemma Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,945
    Likes Received:
    13
    you took a shit in the parking lot?

    fuckn hog.
     
  13. bandicoot

    bandicoot Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2012
    Messages:
    10,194
    Likes Received:
    8,148
    Location:
    STL
    Fiber makes you shit.
     
  14. seatea

    seatea Black belt in Shotacon karate.

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2011
    Messages:
    5,855
    Likes Received:
    116
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirataki_noodles

     
  15. Swoliosis

    Swoliosis Black Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2014
    Messages:
    7,339
    Likes Received:
    8,157
    Location:
    The hospital
    I'll have to try it. Just mix it in with other noodles to hide the weird texture and flavor, and add some fiber while at it.
     
  16. Torrid

    Torrid Cunning Linguist

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2008
    Messages:
    15,721
    Likes Received:
    4,070
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    just ordered a few packs on Amazon prime, I'm excited.

    On a similar note after reading about the effects of sugar free gummy bears I gave them a shot and didn't notice any of the bowel irritability others have suggested.
     
  17. jefferz

    jefferz Gold Belt Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
    Messages:
    21,071
    Likes Received:
    28,693
    That doesn't look like cake. What are they trying to pull?
     
  18. Rexdale

    Rexdale Yellow Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2012
    Messages:
    229
    Likes Received:
    0
    I tried them a while back after being told that they were a good low-carb alternative to pasta and wasn't impressed. You are better off eating spaghetti squash. At least then it has a bit of flavour and some nutrients.
     
  19. rearnakedchoke

    rearnakedchoke Suck it!

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2006
    Messages:
    13,125
    Likes Received:
    8,805
    Location:
    Hawaii
    i was looking for these at tnt in markham .. what do that packages look like?
     
  20. Brampton_Boy

    Brampton_Boy Douchey Mc Douche

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2002
    Messages:
    6,902
    Likes Received:
    5,549
    Location:
    Brampton, Ontario
    Basically like the picture above (post #16). There a couple of different varieties - I opted for the Yam noodles instead of the Tofu based ones. They are sold in the refrigerated section along with dairy products (normally grouped together with wanton wrappers).

    <This is assuming the Markham TNT is a similar layout to the Mississauga TNT>
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.