Mine are from the old AOL days so it was almost all before people had pics online.
First one-been talking to this girl I was early 20's she was late 20's, after a week or so we decide to meet for lunch. She tells me she is going to meet me at the front of the restaurant. I walk up and there is Jabba the Hutts sister sitting there in a dress and leather boots. I figure I've walked up, might as well have the lunch and make the most of it. So we are having lunch and she goes into the long story of how she is the single mother of four kids and a bunch of other things that had me calling for the check. So we leave and I say good bye and she out of the blue asks if I'd like her to give me a BJ in my car. At first I thought she was joking and I said "yeah, sure" so she jumps in my car and goes right for the zipper. I thought what the hell. She called a few times after but eventually gave up.
Had one where I really screwed up, didn't talk on the phone first. Was talking to one online for a couple days and was asked if I wanted to meet, I said sure. the "girl" tells me to meet at this bar I'd never been to before. I describe what I'm wearing and go, I get in the place and it is dark as hell and I see only guys but don't really think too much about it. All a sudden a dude in a jockstrap, leather assless chaps a wife beater and a leather vest basically looked like some one from the gay bar in the Police academy movies. He introduces himself, I say "I'm here meeting someone" he says "by your clothes, I'm that someone" I say "Ummm, I thought you were a girl, online you said you were a girl" he starts in about how I should be open minded since I'm already there. I just got up and walked out.
Another one was a woman that sent me a picture of her from the waist up and it was good, pretty face body looked proportional. We decide to meet at a house party we were both invited to. So I get there and this girl is basically built like a bowling pin, from the waist up she was fine, from the waist down she looked like the bags of fat Tyler Durdan was stealing from the lipo clinics in Fight Club. I just get pissed and depressed because I got fooled again and wander off and get sloppy drunk. I wake up the next morning on the floor of a bedroom with my clothes on but my zipper is down. I get up and there is another dude passed out on the bed, all his clothes are on. I come outside and there are a bunch of people there and they all start clapping and cheering me. Come to find out I did the bowling pin girl on top of the passed out guy and we left the door to the bedroom wide open so anyone walking by could watch. I go home and check my email, bowling pin writes me about what a wonderful time she had and can't wait to see me again. Then I see two other emails from two other girls that were at the party and were beasts, both telling me how they would like to hang some time.
I just deleted all the emails, went to bed and didn't bother with AOL again for a long time.
I did meet some good ones though so it wasn't all bad.
and, well, never a guy to look a gift horse in the mouth (cause lets face it, this was looking like a layup) i said "ok." (really hoping she wasnt originally from Thailand like Soma's girl). well we go out to dinner. she tells me E V E R Y T H I N G about her life. great job. still lives with her parents and they pay for most shit. (driving a brand new loaded BMW M series at 22, i was 24). we go back to my place and she basically rips my clothes off the second we get in the door. usually i HATE the agressive routine and like to set the tone but this nite i was digging it. so long and the short of it, we do the deed, and (i shit you not) IMMEDIATELY after the deed she says and i quote (because its burned into my memory) "give me the condom. i NEED the condom. let me have the condom!" i looked at her and said "let me go into the bathroom real quick." and she stands to block my path. my bed if you were looking down on the room as a perfect square was against the far right wall and the door for the bathroom was in the upper right corner of the square. now picture me at 6'3 230, jumping onto my bed, naked and sprinting past a beutiful 5'0 95lb asian girl out of fear of her trying to trap me and get my little babies from me.... i made it into the bathroom and locked the door before flushing my soldiers. she pounded on the door for 30 minutes while i contemplated my next move. eventually she left.
