Share your internet dating horror stories

[Jack Reacheround]

Regardless of whether or not it happened to Soma, it most likely did happen to somebody somewhere in the bay area.

 

[ZroC]

Came here to talk about online dating, but you guys are just fapping to tranny stories as usual. Fucking Sherdog.

Anyway, a horrible date for me was meeting up with some fat chick who looked skinny in her profile. Went back and looked at her profile and realised she was standing next to an open door, using it to cover her stomach.

 

[PornoSatan]

went back and looked at her profile and realised she was standing next to an open door, using it to cover her stomach.

rofl

 

[Troublesome10]

This isn't quite a horror story, but it literally happened yesterday so it's on my mind.

Throw out a couple POF messages last week, and see what happens, start talking to one girl and we are hitting it off. Another girl messages me and we also start hitting it off. I have this tendency to attach sexual innuendo to conversations I have with these girls just to test my limits and see what they're after, so you might say they were both taking the bait.
Anyway, talked for a couple more days to both of them off and on, make plans with one of them to come by Friday. That same girl calls me last night, we chat for a bit and then she asks, "hey, do you know a girl named _ _ _ _ _ ", I'm like "uhh doesn't ring a bell". It happened to be the other girl's name but I figured it could just be a coincidence.
So eventually she tells me that these two are literally BEST friends, see eachother daily, and were actually TOGETHER having coffee when I was texting both of them in a more or less sexual manner. They were showing eachother the messages I was sending, and now the one that I'm not chilling with is jealous.
What the fuck are the odds of that? And it's weird because the chick who told me about it said the other one only likes black guys and it's weird that she even messaged me in the first place (I'm white).
Anyway it's fucking strange, but she's still coming over tomorrow, and I'm gonna stop talking to the other one. I'm 90% sure I'm gonna bust on her face tomorrow to celebrate the apocalypse, then I'm gonna have to cut her off cuz there's gonna be drama.

 

[electricsheep81]

As she is waiting my roommate and I are laughing so hard and I tell him im leaving my door cracked so if he wants he can watch me slay this beast.

I busted out laughing at this part :icon_lol:

 

[Fenderson]

Doesn't the .5 make it extra ghey sounding? I wanted to see if anyone would notice lol

Anyway man he tried explaining to me what he says but it was just dumb. He doesn't have a set thing he sends to every chick. He just looks at their profiles and bullshits his way into their lives based on their interests. He acts cocky and alpha as fuck and they just eat it up. Like he'll start calling them bitches by the 3rd or 4th email and they are into it. I don't get it really.

Ridiculous. It's always "looking for a nice guy" or "need a gentlemen"

I'm going to start calling them dirty bitch whores. See if I get better results.

Note:I've just have been contacted by an 8/10. Will proceed with caution, then call her a bitch if things start to go sour.

 

[Blackdanger***]

Met a girl on POF that had a myspace angle. When i met her IRL she was fucking HUGE. not like 40lbs overweight...i'd say she was at least 300lbs.

anyway we spoke for like 10minutes then i just got up, told her it wouldnt work out, that i was sorry but i was leaving.

 

[Scrody]

And all these years I thought Soma was a chick. Mind=blown.

 

[Fenderson]

Met a girl on POF that had a myspace angle. When i met her IRL she was fucking HUGE. not like 40lbs overweight...i'd say she was at least 300lbs.

anyway we spoke for like 10minutes then i just got up, told her it wouldnt work out, that i was sorry but i was leaving.

She must of had a chubby face at 300lbs, surely. At 300 lbs people normally have about three chins.

 

[RickNash]

Met a girl on POF that had a myspace angle. When i met her IRL she was fucking HUGE. not like 40lbs overweight...i'd say she was at least 300lbs.

anyway we spoke for like 10minutes then i just got up, told her it wouldnt work out, that i was sorry but i was leaving.

Good man.

 

[Troublesome10]

Met a girl on POF that had a myspace angle. When i met her IRL she was fucking HUGE. not like 40lbs overweight...i'd say she was at least 300lbs.

anyway we spoke for like 10minutes then i just got up, told her it wouldnt work out, that i was sorry but i was leaving.

Internet dating rules 1 though 5 of 280

1. If she's got only face pics, she's fat
2. If her pics are of a group of girls who are decent, she's the ugliest one
3. IF the picture is taken at a downward angle above the head, it's because she is ugly, or is ugly but has nice tits and is attempting to use what assets she has to look attractive.
4. If you for any length of time at all think she may be a tranny, she is.
5. Wrap it up

 

[electricsheep81]

Yes, I posted that at 2p2. Name there was Trankuility. I was an avid HUSNG player for a couple years. Though I posted that story here on Sherdog in a shorter version before I posted it at 2p2.

I'm probably thinking of another poster, but did you post the shorter version in the O.T., years ago?


I remember a long time ago in the old O.T., there was a dude that made a thread about his experiences hooking up with a tranny. I'm probably thinking of someone else, because it seemed like the OP became a full fledged tranny chaser.

 

[Fizzee Water]

I transported a chick to the hospital not long ago that hooked up with a dude on POF, banged him and then he cut her off so she showed up at his place and he wouldn't let her in the apartment so she started texting him saying she was going to kill herself, tried kicking his door in and actually started cutting herself with a broken bottle in the pouring rain.

Watch yourself boys, crazy is out there.

 

[RSmith47]

Ridiculous. It's always "looking for a nice guy" or "need a gentlemen"

I'm going to start calling them dirty bitch whores. See if I get better results.

Note:I've just have been contacted by an 8/10. Will proceed with caution, then call her a bitch if things start to go sour.

I'd say very few of them that say they are looking for a nice guy....are really looking for a nice guy. They're looking for tattoos, piercings, money, muscles and dick. In any order you choose. Very very few girls on there are looking for a real relationship and if they are they are most likely crazy. I've met probably 30 girls online and the only one that was dateable was a cougar but I wasn't about to date someone 15 years my elder. The rest turned out to be wasted relationships, nice fucks, shame fucks, holy shit what did I just do fucks and no way in hell will I ever touch that fucks.

 

[TheDayday]

Around 2005 when I lived in the east bay, over in Fremont I was a member of that site HotorNot. I see this girls' picture. She's Filipino and about 5'9 or so with a great body. Of course I think she's hot so I click "yes" to meet her. She clicks "yes" back so I message her about whatever. She replied back with her number and simply "Call me". Hmmm, I thought that was pretty forward of her but hey whatever.

So the next day I call her and I'm like, "Hey, Anne, this is Soma from HotorNot. What you up to?"

She replies in a somewhat fobby Filipino accent, "I just got off BART (local train/subway type thing), come pick me up!"

"Uh, what? Pick you up?"

"Yeah, come pick me up. Right now."

"I don't even know you. We just got on the phone."

"So what, be a man and come pick me up!"

At this point I was thinking she was kind of crazy and was actually turned off. So I told her no, cool talking to her and bye bye. But a couple days later I started wondering if I was too harsh. Since she had an accent I wondered if she was new to the US and maybe she wasn't familiar with the language so much and that's why she came off weird. So I decide to give it another shot and call her up. The conversation goes almost exactly the same. She just got off BART again and is telling me to come pick her up. I was juuust about to hang up on her until she told me where she was at, which was literally two blocks from my house. I was hungry and told her fine, I'll come pick her up on my way to get some food. So I drive over there and when I see am like "DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMN!" She was in a short skirt and heels. Big tits, small waist, and big ass. Looked a lot like a Brazilian girl, the ones with those big juicy asses. Yum! Needless to say I was pretty happy that I decided to pick her up, hah. So we drive to Denny's haha to get me some food but when we park she's all, "I'm tiiiiired. Is there somewhere else we can go?"

Bingo! Those were the magic words guuurl. It was obvious she was ready to get down so I was like fuck it, yeah I know somewhere and began driving back to my place thinking "I'm gonna fuck the shiiit outta this Brazilian lookin Flip fob!" Bang bang. So we're driving back when outta nowhere she turns to me and asks, "Are you a creature of the night?"

"What?"

"Are you a vampire?"

"Hmmm, not really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure about that."

"You're not a werewolf then, are you?"

"What??"

"Because I AM a vampire and I hunt werewolves! Seriously, I'm a vampire. I roam the night to hunt werewolves. So it's good that you're not a werewolf because then you'd be my PREY!" she said as she made a claw motion with her hand.

So I'm thinking "Wow, this bitch is fucked up!" But hey whatever, I'm gonna pound her so I'll put up with this and play along. Besides, if anything it was interesting, hah. So she continues to tell me all about her vampire and werewolf adventures. And remember she's saying this in a fob accent so I want to bust out laughing sooo bad but hold it in.

After she regales me with her creature of the night stories she starts telling me that her father is a diplomat in the UN so she has access to all kinds of imported drugs. She then asks, "Do you want some E?"

"Nah, I'm cool."

"How about some cocaine then. Want some?"

"No thanks."

"Oh, ok."

We finally get back to my place and I'm still hungry since I didn't eat so we sit in my living room watching TV while waiting for the pizza I just ordered. And I don't know, she was crazy yeah, but things just seemed "off" about her but I couldn't place it. Anyway, after about 30 mins she asks to use the bathroom. When comes out she's acting all loopy and I'm like "What's up with you??" and she's all, "Want some candy? I just had some in your bathroom! Yeeeeeeeeah! See?" Then she pulls out these two FAT ASS vials, one filled with coke and the other was empty. She tried giving me the full one and I'm like, "No I'm cool. You just that entire thing in my bathroom?!" I mean really, it was fucking huge. I was pissed that she just did coke in my bathroom after all this other craziness but just wanted to eat my pizza, fuck her, then go to bed.

So after some time I finally eat my pizza and by this time we've been hanging out for a few hours. We're sitting on the couch and I'm looking at her like, "Man...she is soooo weird. What is up. Plus there is something not right about her...but I just can't put my finger on it..." So I'm sitting there looking at her while she's looking at the TV, so I'm looking at the side of her face because the whole thing is really starting to bother me but I can't place why. I'm sitting there, staring, and time has passed by so nature tends to take it's course regardless of who you are. That's when it hits me. Hoooly shit! No no no no no no! What theeeeee fuck?! Heeell no. This can't be!

This bitch had a fucking 5'oclock shadow growing in! NOOOOOOOOO!!! I think I sat there staring with my mouth open in shock for about 30 seconds before she turned to me and asked if anything was wrong. I was still like holy shit I can't believe this. Every guys worst nightmare. All the warning stories about meeting a girl off the net who turns out to be a guy has actually come true right in my fucking living room. Jesus Christ.

I was getting ready to kick her out when suddenly I thought, "Ehhhh she's already here. She's hot. Fuck...no one is gonna know. No no, I can't do this. Hell no. Buuut...ah I don't know. Wait, what am I thinking?! Hell no no no. Hmmm...maybe? NO!! Ahhhh ok, fine. Fuuck it."

"Come on." I said.

"Where?" she asked.

"Upstairs. To my room." as I grabbed her hand and led her up to my bedroom.

When we got up there she was adamant about checking her myspace. So I let her and she showed me the profiles of all her friends. Started telling me how they all love to party and that I should come out with them. All her friends were hot as hell but I realized they were all probably tranny's and probably coke heads too so I was just like, "Eh, we'll see." I was wearing a tank top and as I check my email she starts kissing the tats on my arm. It sounds gay as shit*, hahahah, but I'll say that she kissed my body better than any girl I've been with. I imagine it's because she knows what guys like, being that she is one. At this point I was not sure what to expect...did she have a dick? I tried not to think about it.

So we move to bed and start getting down to bidness. She stars saying things like, "I'm your slut. I'm your dirty slut." in that broken english of hers. When I take her pants off I noticed she's wearing a patch on her abdomen. She notices that I'm looking at it and says, "Oh, that's for birth control." Riiiiiiight bitch. That's your fuckin hormone patch but whatever...don't think about it! Just gogogogo! Off comes her top and bra. Yes, glorious huge fake tits! Then I move down to her panties and hold my breath. Please no dick please no dick please no dick. I'm still fucking you either way but please no dick.

Panties come off...

NO DICK!!! Post op tranny status fo dat ass, son! At this point I'm more intrigued because I've never fucked a fake vagina before and I don't know anyone else that has so I'm kinda like Neil Armstrong or William Shatner.

I start to put on a condom and she says, "You don't need that baby, I'm on the birth control, remember?" Get the fuck outta here with that shit. You think I'm putting my dick in your manmade he-pussy without a rubber? GTFO. So I put on the rubber and proceed to fuck. Or try to anyway. Imagine your brother making a clenched fist and you trying to put your dick in there. Not very easy, right? Well that's how it was with this tranny; like trying to fuck my little brothers fist. But she starts saying "Push harder, it will go in if you push and I move at this angle." Which stars killing the mood and my boner. My dick bent in various painful ways trying to get all the way inside her. I think I got it like halfway in. Wasn't the most enjoyable experience so I just willed myself to orgasm.

Afterwards it was late and I just wanted to sleep and forget about everything. Just take her home first thing in the morning. She tried cuddling with me but I don't cuddle with guys so *fuck off. She tries pulling closer and her fucking chin whiskers scratch my back. I shudder and tell her to STOP. GO TO BED. I wake up extra early, tell her to get her stuff and lets go. I definitely did not want to see a full on beard so avoided eye contact. As I'm driving her home she says she had a good time and if I want to get together again. I say no thanks. She sounds sad. I feel a bit bad, but hey, it's not like you told me you were a man from the get go so don't be surprised if I don't want to see you again. Honesty is the best policy. I drop her off and she tries to hug me, I shrug her off and finally get an accidental look at her face without makeup and sportin a days mustachio and beard. Ugh. Peace out!!!

So then I drove to work. Happy about having such a weird experience. Grossed out that I did a tranny. Regretful that I didn't put it in her ass.

And thus ends Soma's tranny tale.

Ever since then I've been wary of any girls who even joke about being a guy, haha. I actually accused some girl of being a man, really thought she was one. She started to cry and I felt confused, because men should not be so sensitive. Turns out she was really a woman. My bad.

Until next time folks. Be good to yourselves. And be good to each other. Good day.

Epic son... epic...

 

[fatalis]

I went on OKC for the first time last June because I wanted some quick, easy lays.
I hooked up with a few girls, all of whom were really cool and pretty.

Throughout June and July, though, there was one particular girl that I really liked. I messaged her, she replied a couple of days later. I messaged her a couple of days later and she never responded. I thought she just blew me off.

I continued to go on other dates, but I couldn't get this girl out of my head. One day, in mid July, she posted a picture and I made an apparently funny comment about it. We messaged back and forth for a couple of weeks (long for both of us) because I was out of the country, she was away on vacation, etc.

We finally went on our first date in late July and we hit it off immediately. Eventually we both deleted our OKC accounts and started dating one another exclusively. Throughout the summer, we spent every free hour with one another. It was amazing. She's pretty, smart, great in bed, and an amazing friend.

We are getting married in September.
How does the saying go? "When you know, you know."

What a horrifying and harrowing tale. I need sometime to recover, maybe tell my mother I love her because this horrific story just makes me want to cannonball off the Empire State Building.

 

[IIIIIIII]

This happened back in the day before everyone had digital cameras and all that. I was still a virgin and I was trolling the old yahoo profiles for chicks in my area and messaging them randomly. I came across this one backstreet boy lover girl profile and sent her a message. We were both 18 at the time. We started talking and she sounded smokin hot on the phone. Haha...like that matters. Anyway neither of us had digital cameras but she said she had a pair of tickets for the basketball game and wanted to know if I wanted to go. So I was like yeah what the hell, it's not like this is super serious or anything.

I show up and basically a Hells Angel of a father answers the door and I'm thinking I'm in trouble. Instead he shakes my hand and tells me thanks for taking his daughter out. At that moment I was like oh shit this is going to be bad. He calls for her and when she shows up in the doorway she was monsterous. She was ugly as sin and her body type was more water bed than human. I was stuck at this point so I had to take this bitch to the game.

While we were waiting to get inside she kept holding me from behind like a 14 year old does to his 14 year old girlfriend and she kept leaning up on me against the fence we were standing next to, practically crushing me. It was so embarrassing that this was happening in public. I kept having to break the clinch and whizzer my way out of it without pissing her off. I was Brandon Vera and she was Randy Couture. I was being dominated by this unpleasant beast. Honestly I don't know how you can get that big at 18. I don't know how it was humanly possible to eat that much food in 18 years of existence but she found a way. After the game she tried to kiss me and I made up some BS story about how I didn't kiss on the first date.

I dropped her off at home and never once answered any of her emails or calls again. The emails and calls started with "Hey, it's me, I had a lot of fun! Lets go out again" and started transitioning to "Hey why are you ignoring me? I hope everything is ok" and finally "I'm going to kill myself! How could you do this to me? I loved you!".

Never again would I meet another girl online without seeing a picture first.

haha, that's rough man.

 

[AGGAMEMNON66]

This happened back in the day before everyone had digital cameras and all that. I was still a virgin and I was trolling the old yahoo profiles for chicks in my area and messaging them randomly. I came across this one backstreet boy lover girl profile and sent her a message. We were both 18 at the time. We started talking and she sounded smokin hot on the phone. Haha...like that matters. Anyway neither of us had digital cameras but she said she had a pair of tickets for the basketball game and wanted to know if I wanted to go. So I was like yeah what the hell, it's not like this is super serious or anything.

I show up and basically a Hells Angel of a father answers the door and I'm thinking I'm in trouble. Instead he shakes my hand and tells me thanks for taking his daughter out. At that moment I was like oh shit this is going to be bad. He calls for her and when she shows up in the doorway she was monsterous. She was ugly as sin and her body type was more water bed than human. I was stuck at this point so I had to take this bitch to the game.

While we were waiting to get inside she kept holding me from behind like a 14 year old does to his 14 year old girlfriend and she kept leaning up on me against the fence we were standing next to, practically crushing me. It was so embarrassing that this was happening in public. I kept having to break the clinch and whizzer my way out of it without pissing her off. I was Brandon Vera and she was Randy Couture. I was being dominated by this unpleasant beast. Honestly I don't know how you can get that big at 18. I don't know how it was humanly possible to eat that much food in 18 years of existence but she found a way. After the game she tried to kiss me and I made up some BS story about how I didn't kiss on the first date.

I dropped her off at home and never once answered any of her emails or calls again. The emails and calls started with "Hey, it's me, I had a lot of fun! Lets go out again" and started transitioning to "Hey why are you ignoring me? I hope everything is ok" and finally "I'm going to kill myself! How could you do this to me? I loved you!".

Never again would I meet another girl online without seeing a picture first.

lol


Thats actually a pretty awesome story

 

[Wow Exuberant**]

Yes, I posted that at 2p2. Name there was Trankuility. I was an avid HUSNG player for a couple years. Though I posted that story here on Sherdog in a shorter version before I posted it at 2p2.

If it is true, how do you live with yourself?

 

[snake_vato]

Lulz were had ITT, :icon_lol: