Share your internet dating horror stories

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by RSmith47, Dec 20, 2012.

  1. RSmith47

    RSmith47 Brown Belt

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    This happened back in the day before everyone had digital cameras and all that. I was still a virgin and I was trolling the old yahoo profiles for chicks in my area and messaging them randomly. I came across this one backstreet boy lover girl profile and sent her a message. We were both 18 at the time. We started talking and she sounded smokin hot on the phone. Haha...like that matters. Anyway neither of us had digital cameras but she said she had a pair of tickets for the basketball game and wanted to know if I wanted to go. So I was like yeah what the hell, it's not like this is super serious or anything.

    I show up and basically a Hells Angel of a father answers the door and I'm thinking I'm in trouble. Instead he shakes my hand and tells me thanks for taking his daughter out. At that moment I was like oh shit this is going to be bad. He calls for her and when she shows up in the doorway she was monsterous. She was ugly as sin and her body type was more water bed than human. I was stuck at this point so I had to take this bitch to the game.

    While we were waiting to get inside she kept holding me from behind like a 14 year old does to his 14 year old girlfriend and she kept leaning up on me against the fence we were standing next to, practically crushing me. It was so embarrassing that this was happening in public. I kept having to break the clinch and whizzer my way out of it without pissing her off. I was Brandon Vera and she was Randy Couture. I was being dominated by this unpleasant beast. Honestly I don't know how you can get that big at 18. I don't know how it was humanly possible to eat that much food in 18 years of existence but she found a way. After the game she tried to kiss me and I made up some BS story about how I didn't kiss on the first date.

    I dropped her off at home and never once answered any of her emails or calls again. The emails and calls started with "Hey, it's me, I had a lot of fun! Lets go out again" and started transitioning to "Hey why are you ignoring me? I hope everything is ok" and finally "I'm going to kill myself! How could you do this to me? I loved you!".

    Never again would I meet another girl online without seeing a picture first.
     
    NinjaNiK likes this.
  2. LogicalInsanity

    LogicalInsanity Free RR! Belt

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    I have never done internet dating (never needed to) but a friend of mine did...

    he suffers from social anxiety, depression and is pretty much very awkward in situations of dealing with strangers.

    Anyway he meets this girl on POF, goes on a date and has a great time. (he's texting me how much of a good time he's having, and how great she is)

    He calls me estactic even telling me this was one of hte best nights he has had in LA.

    He tells me they kiss and hug....he's on cloud 9 and I never seen him in such a good mood. That very same night he goes on POF, he finds out that his date closed her POF account, saying, "I'm tired of dealing with fake a$$ people. be true to yourself, and don't try and deceive others)
     
  3. Edgar Allan Hoe

    Edgar Allan Hoe Black Belt

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    Woah, that's rough. What the hell did she mean by that exactly?

    I just moved back to the DC area being away for nearly 6 years and I'm actually thinking about using that site. It sounds so convenient since you can eliminate the qualities you don't like and look for people that live nearby.
     
  4. RSmith47

    RSmith47 Brown Belt

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    So did she think he was a creep and didn't like him or was she just crazy and though he was acting awkward on purpose?
     
  5. KAZSoliloquy

    KAZSoliloquy 10/10 on Pitchfork

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    Don't know if it counts as "online dating" but when I was younger, I met the other half of my longest relationship to date on MySpace. We were kids so we weren't gonna last but she did some really fucked up things behind my back. Fucked my whole brain up as a teenager
     
  6. RSmith47

    RSmith47 Brown Belt

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    I'm practically married but if I was single, I'd be all over that site. Easy access to tons of hot chicks. It's never been any easier for guys really.
     
  7. equus

    equus Horse Belt Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    i went on yahoo personals after betting my buddy i could sleep with a real woman who wasnt a webcam girl (they were common then i guess about 2003). well the first girl i met was hot and i won the bet. then i kept using the site for a bit. it was a great hookup site even though i met plenty of girls as a bartender. my buddy swears by POF
     
  8. LogicalInsanity

    LogicalInsanity Free RR! Belt

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    Okay ,just read this story...how fu*king terrible...and I kinda feel bad for the girl too...
     
  9. equus

    equus Horse Belt Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    my experience was during the digital camera age. i met a girl who did lie her ass off by misrepresenting herself as younger and fit. when i met her she was like ts described and about 15 years older and 10 years older than me... we went to a royals game then i never answered her calls again...
     
  10. faustian

    faustian THE LOOSE CANNON Platinum Member

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    Pretty much every paragraph gave me a lol.
     
  11. Streetz

    Streetz Gypsy Platinum Member

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    What was worse: the Royals game? Or the date?
     
  12. RickNash

    RickNash Narratologist

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  13. RSmith47

    RSmith47 Brown Belt

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    This isn't an online story but one time I went home with this drunk chick from a bar. She still lived with her parents but said they were sleeping and could sneak me in. As soon as we got upstairs, her step dad walked out of his bedroom and asked her if she was alright. She said yeah and he told her to go to her room. I'm freakin at this point. I was like uhhh...I was just making sure she got home safely, I'll be leaving now....

    The guy grabbed me by my shoulders really tight and said "It's alright man, have fun" and literally pushed me toward her room. I just looked back and walked in there and shut the door. She was passed out completely on her bed so I just sat there for 10 minutes to make sure he went back in his room. Then I got the eff out of there.

    Not only am I not into passed out chicks, but if the step dad is saying it's cool and pushing you in there....you know she's banging out half the town and he's probably getting off on it.
     
  14. equus

    equus Horse Belt Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    the date suprisingly.

    note to those young people out there. if your date is more depressing than the kansas city royals, you need to end the date asap.
     
  15. Tankeray

    Tankeray The Progeny of Beast of Woe

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    Another POF story.

    Met this girl there, her face looked cute from the pics (of course) but she was a little chubby, but no big deal, just needed to bust one.

    Got to her place, she opened the door, and I swear to god I couldn't even see inside the apartment- she looked like an elephant with black curtain drapes, I'm guessing that was a dress of...some sort.

    Anyway, I just said "no thanks" and walked away lol.

    ForeverAlone.jpg
     
  16. Senzo Tanaka

    Senzo Tanaka Silver Belt

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    Lost it at breaking the clinch. I've never had the balls to do internet dating.
     
  17. TheNinja

    TheNinja Silver Belt

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    That is why a "first date" should always be for coffee or lunch or something. Then if it sucks you only have to hang for an hour and can say "Well, I only get about an hour for lunch break" and you aren't stuck on a 5 hour marathon date or an expensive dinner. Or go to a place that serves alcohol. Then you can always get drunk if the date sucks.
     
  18. Fenderson

    Fenderson Purple Belt

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    Hmm it's not that easy. There's tons of 5-6/10 that you can bang extremely easily. But for hot chicks its more tricky and they can be afford to be picky (some of them will be getting 50+ messages a day)
     
  19. Joe Rogaine

    Joe Rogaine Black Belt

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    lol at the waterbed bit. The only chicks who ever message me on dating sites are water beds and not only that they live out of state.

    "Hi. I'm Miranda"

    "Ummm, you live 130 miles away..."
     
  20. Joe Rogaine

    Joe Rogaine Black Belt

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    Yea, internet dating isnt that easy, at least not for me. I do much better in person. Pulling box is easy, finding a girl to date is extremely hard, especially since whenever you find one that seems really cool on okcupid you basically have a 1/10 chance of getting an email back, and I am good looking.
     

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