This happened back in the day before everyone had digital cameras and all that. I was still a virgin and I was trolling the old yahoo profiles for chicks in my area and messaging them randomly. I came across this one backstreet boy lover girl profile and sent her a message. We were both 18 at the time. We started talking and she sounded smokin hot on the phone. Haha...like that matters. Anyway neither of us had digital cameras but she said she had a pair of tickets for the basketball game and wanted to know if I wanted to go. So I was like yeah what the hell, it's not like this is super serious or anything.
I show up and basically a Hells Angel of a father answers the door and I'm thinking I'm in trouble. Instead he shakes my hand and tells me thanks for taking his daughter out. At that moment I was like oh shit this is going to be bad. He calls for her and when she shows up in the doorway she was monsterous. She was ugly as sin and her body type was more water bed than human. I was stuck at this point so I had to take this bitch to the game.
While we were waiting to get inside she kept holding me from behind like a 14 year old does to his 14 year old girlfriend and she kept leaning up on me against the fence we were standing next to, practically crushing me. It was so embarrassing that this was happening in public. I kept having to break the clinch and whizzer my way out of it without pissing her off. I was Brandon Vera and she was Randy Couture. I was being dominated by this unpleasant beast. Honestly I don't know how you can get that big at 18. I don't know how it was humanly possible to eat that much food in 18 years of existence but she found a way. After the game she tried to kiss me and I made up some BS story about how I didn't kiss on the first date.
I dropped her off at home and never once answered any of her emails or calls again. The emails and calls started with "Hey, it's me, I had a lot of fun! Lets go out again" and started transitioning to "Hey why are you ignoring me? I hope everything is ok" and finally "I'm going to kill myself! How could you do this to me? I loved you!".
Never again would I meet another girl online without seeing a picture first.
I show up and basically a Hells Angel of a father answers the door and I'm thinking I'm in trouble. Instead he shakes my hand and tells me thanks for taking his daughter out. At that moment I was like oh shit this is going to be bad. He calls for her and when she shows up in the doorway she was monsterous. She was ugly as sin and her body type was more water bed than human. I was stuck at this point so I had to take this bitch to the game.
While we were waiting to get inside she kept holding me from behind like a 14 year old does to his 14 year old girlfriend and she kept leaning up on me against the fence we were standing next to, practically crushing me. It was so embarrassing that this was happening in public. I kept having to break the clinch and whizzer my way out of it without pissing her off. I was Brandon Vera and she was Randy Couture. I was being dominated by this unpleasant beast. Honestly I don't know how you can get that big at 18. I don't know how it was humanly possible to eat that much food in 18 years of existence but she found a way. After the game she tried to kiss me and I made up some BS story about how I didn't kiss on the first date.
I dropped her off at home and never once answered any of her emails or calls again. The emails and calls started with "Hey, it's me, I had a lot of fun! Lets go out again" and started transitioning to "Hey why are you ignoring me? I hope everything is ok" and finally "I'm going to kill myself! How could you do this to me? I loved you!".
Never again would I meet another girl online without seeing a picture first.
