Safe to say marriage means far less than it used to?

[TheonGreyJoy**]

Divorce has become so common that people don't feel the shame that being a divorcee used to bring. Now it's like something everyone goes through at some point.

There's also the fact that the legal system makes the whole process so easy. Unless you get some old fashioned judge, a couple can probably get a divorce granted by saying they don't get along.

Marriage is nothing but a joke piece of paper and a couple pieces of jewelry.

"There's also the fact that the legal system makes the whole process so lucrative."

Changed one word for accuracy.

the entire system of legal divorce is a cash cow sham and the Law Society is entirely to blame.

One third of families wealth is transferred to the lawyers thru divorce and that hurts families while enriching lawyers and they have no reason to try and diminish those numbers despite the fact it could be done easily. You won't have politicians or judges reform the system as they too are dominated by lawyers.

There simply is no reason for Divorce to be part of the adversarial system at the onset, that creates such animosity leading to larger legal bills. Almost all law judgements are based on legal precedent. There is rarely anything new in divorce that prior precedent could not address. So instead of letting each and every couple fight it out like their cases are unique and new while lawyers argue and judges sit, the system should require each couple first sit with a court ordered mediator who will review precedent and put forth a judgement.

Now the lawyers will say 'we cannot deny people their right to court'. Fine, allow either party then with mediated judgement in hand the right to ignore it and still pursue their day in court but make it known that if the judge sides with the mediator and says it was fair, then the one who brought it to court must pay 100% of the costs for both side out of their settlement.

this system would take a ton of the animosity out of the fight between couples making it easier for them to work together post divorce, and it would leave more of their money for them to rebuild. But it would cut lawyers incomes and that is why it is not forced.

 

[Jballer]

It means whatever you want it to mean. If you want it to be a flimsy contract that you opt out of when it gets tough than that's it. If you actually know what love is and make the sacrifice it can be a beautiful gesture among partners.

This. People saying "it doesn't mean shit" were clearly never happily married.

 

[NelmarksGhost]

I don't know if it's been said already, so forgive me if it has.

Divorce in the US is more common now because women are part of the workforce. In the past a woman couldn't simply leave her husband because it would be financially ruinous. A woman couldn't just get a job, and support herself. Now she can.

 

[Seano]

This. People saying "it doesn't mean shit" were clearly never happily married.

Absolutely.

But you have to admit that the institution of marriage is not respected as it was in previous eras. In popular culture especially. People get married for the attention more and more these days. Some people see nothing wrong at all with being married and screwing around with other people.

 

[Leagon]

I don't know if it's been said already, so forgive me if it has.

Divorce in the US is more common now because women are part of the workforce. In the past a woman couldn't simply leave her husband because it would be financially ruinous. A woman couldn't just get a job, and support herself. Now she can.

What about men? Things haven't changed much for us financially but our divorce rates have still gone up.

 

[TheonGreyJoy**]

What about men? Things haven't changed much for us financially but our divorce rates have still gone up.

the main point he is making is about compromise.

Two people cannot come together and co exist with lots of compromise.

Compromise is not an easy thing.

Prior the female had a ton of motivation to find a way to make that comprise if the relationship was at threat as she would be on her own and financially devastated most times if she did not. Women compromised often to even accept being beaten by their men as the alternative was not seen as better.

As women have got better jobs and the divorce courts have made it easy for her to leave with half and ongoing support you naturally see women less willing to make those compromises and more and more that pressure is put on both which makes it less likely to achieve.

 

[TeTe]

I don't know if it's been said already, so forgive me if it has.

Divorce in the US is more common now because women are part of the workforce. In the past a woman couldn't simply leave her husband because it would be financially ruinous. A woman couldn't just get a job, and support herself. Now she can.

My friend is dating a 41 year old woman that is in the final stages of a divorce.

She's hates the guy so much that she's even paying his attorney fees to get it over as soon as possible. The ex is a total deadbeat and she makes almost six figures.

She doesn't even want anything from the guy as part of the terms of divorce.. her sons are teenagers and two of them are almost out of the house.

But it's true what you say.. women are more independent now and don't rely so much on men financially.

Although.. like any man who wants independence and to fuck everything that moves.. you shouldn't marry unless you are fully committed to it. So if you are a women and want to focus on your career and fucking as many different men as possible.. then more power to you.. just don't get married and increase the divorce rate. More of them are paying alimony to men these days as well.

 

[dawnslayer]

It's not a sign of social decay or any other bullshit. It's just the reality of people living together.

This.

 

[Viva]

Only YOU can give meaning to your marriage.

If you choose to ignore and break vows, then of course it will prove meaningless.

The problem is, far too many people understand the importance of the vows they take and simply view it as another relationship with financial incentives.

 

[carlos cadona]

Nothing means anything and only death is real.

 

[lowsingle]

Scoff if you will but when you took religion out of the equasion, marriage became more about girls having a big party where people pay attention to them .

Nothing means much anymore now that we have no morals as a society.

10/10 post

and you arent allowed to criticize anyone, if a girl cheats, ruins the marriage and gets divorced. you arent allowed to say anything, or youre a sexist bully

 

[lowsingle]

i am glad that my fiance and i both come from traditional families and backgrounds. she has one divorcee in the family, she cheated on her husband so now she is not invited to any family gatherings and is shunned by her family. her ex-husband is always invited, though he doesnt go. my fiance talks shit on her all the time.

i am glad i am not marrying a "progressive" woman with modern western values

 

[lowsingle]

White women have kind of ruined it.


It still matters in cultures that aren't twisted.

It's a pretty small basement dwelling community that says "Christians are idiots." Smart people see things a different.

i like you today

 

[Mike]

Yeah as others mentioned there's no accountability anymore. Pretty much just an excuse for chicks to have a big party. Later if they encounter any difficulty at all they just bounce. Of course going through a divorce myself so maybe a little biased.

 

[TalkinNoise]

If anything else it will be interesting watching this generation and the next. I'm sure things will change, maybe for better, maybe for the worse.

 

[Heefer Madness]

It's the inevitable outcome of the process of female emancipation that has been happening in the last 50 years or so. It sucks, but the alternative -- people stuck in abusive and unhappy relationships, plus the social stigma attached to the unmarried and divorced -- is far worse.

 

[TheonGreyJoy**]

My friend is dating a 41 year old woman that is in the final stages of a divorce.

She's hates the guy so much that she's even paying his attorney fees to get it over as soon as possible. The ex is a total deadbeat and she makes almost six figures.

She doesn't even want anything from the guy as part of the terms of divorce.. her sons are teenagers and two of them are almost out of the house.

But it's true what you say.. women are more independent now and don't rely so much on men financially.

Although.. like any man who wants independence and to fuck everything that moves.. you shouldn't marry unless you are fully committed to it. So if you are a women and want to focus on your career and fucking as many different men as possible.. then more power to you.. just don't get married and increase the divorce rate. More of them are paying alimony to men these days as well.

it sounds like she will be lucky if he does not come after her for money as part of the settlement.

BTW that will be the biggest thing that will cause reform in the now slanted separation payment regime. Men have typically been the large bread winners with women often seen as being at a disadvantage and thus the Socialism that creeped into the courts in the form of wealth leveling when a couple split.

with Women starting to dominate all areas of education and increasingly graduating into the higher paying jobs and men slipping badly and increasingly becoming deadbeats the courts will not allow men sitting home in their basements playing video games and avoiding life, to get life long spousal support from success women. the rules will change once it is men disproportionately benefiting.

 

[TheonGreyJoy**]

Scoff if you will but when you took religion out of the equasion, marriage became more about girls having a big party where people pay attention to them .

Nothing means much anymore now that we have no morals as a society.

and while I am glad religion is being taken out of it, mostly, there is some truth to this.

I recently saw a study that 8 out of 10 divorces are instigated by the women in the marriages with the men not wanting or consenting to the divorce, which does not matter anymore. And at the same time the study showed it was the female who tended to pressure for the marriage in the first place.

In my only personal peer group stat is almost bang on as we have 11 divorces amongst my childhood friends and few of the men, my buddies, thought things were that serious.

I do think a lot of women are so excited to get married and have the ceremony that they are not ensuring they are with compatible mates and just figure they will fix them after the fact.

 

[elmo_1968]

Marriage was a commitment made before God and that used to mean something. It was part of a system of values handed down from generation to generation, so I don't agree. People don't have those values anymore and marriage means nothing. A wedding today is just a party and marriage is temporary.


I'm not sure why people don't see that the values we traditionally had came from our faith, no matter how enlightened we pretend to be today.

But many of the values each religion claims credit for occur in other faiths and in people of no faith.

I can't believe anyone could seriously say that the traditional family unit is as common today as it was say, 60 years ago.

Sixty years ago the postwar marriage boom, the largest glut of marriages in US history was in full swing, so you got that one right. But that period was by no means typical in US history.

 

[elmo_1968]

It has nothing to do with people who believe in God caring more about taking care of their family (you don't directly say it here but you sure imply it). It's obviously a religious institution at its core though

It does not need to be religious at any level. For some people it is, for others it is not.