Safe to say marriage means far less than it used to?

[Seano]

It has nothing to do with people who believe in God caring more about taking care of their family (you don't directly say it here but you sure imply it).
t]

Marriage was a commitment made before God and that used to mean something. It was part of a system of values handed down from generation to generation, so I don't agree. People don't have those values anymore and marriage means nothing. A wedding today is just a party and marriage is temporary.


I'm not sure why people don't see that the values we traditionally had came from our faith, no matter how enlightened we pretend to be today.

I can't believe anyone could seriously say that the traditional family unit is as common today as it was say, 60 years ago.

 

[fingercuffs]

Does the fact that married people get divorced just like people who are not married break up, prove that marriage doesn't even mean much any anymore?

As I see it, other than the legal ramifications, getting married does not mean two people love each other or are more committed to each other more than two people who are not married but are dating exclusively.

What else would explain divorce being so popular, and marriage vows that mean nothing?

Completely agree, I don't feel any different about my other half than I did before we got married, I do like saying husband rather than "other half" though.

Scoff if you will but when you took religion out of the equasion, marriage became more about girls having a big party where people pay attention to them .

Nothing means much anymore now that we have no morals as a society.

I hated the idea of a full on look at me look at me wedding, the thought of it terrified me in fact. My mum's sad she never got to be there and I probably missed out, but I was happy doing it on our own. I never wanted the big day and the hen party aspect of it.

 

[Elysianwing]

I don't think it means any more or less than it ever did.

I just think people tend to settle for what is comfortable, or easy, or available, rather than running the risk of dying alone, in the attempt to pursue what they really want.

I think it also has to do with how abstract and varied a concept like love is, and how misrepresented it tends to be in popular culture. Everyone always believes they know what it feels like, that they understand it, etc. Seems though, most don't.

 

[Henry Swanson]

Scoff if you will but when you took religion out of the equasion, marriage became more about girls having a big party where people pay attention to them .

Nothing means much anymore now that we have no morals as a society.

Sad but true.

But what I'm seeing more of these days, is that it just isn't about the women wanting a big party, it's about the men as well.

Normally I don't give a shit what people do with their money, but when a friend told me how much he was in the hole for the wedding he had a couple of summers ago, my jaw hit the floor.

 

[Amerikuracana]

White women have kind of ruined it.


It still matters in cultures that aren't twisted.

 

[Martialarts101]

Marriage was a commitment made before God and that used to mean something. It was part of a system of values handed down from generation to generation, so I don't agree. People don't have those values anymore and marriage means nothing. A wedding today is just a party and marriage is temporary.


I'm not sure why people don't see that the values we traditionally had came from our faith, no matter how enlightened we pretend to be today.

I can't believe anyone could seriously say that the traditional family unit is as common today as it was say, 60 years ago.

Because its popular to mock and dismiss religion. Its levelling I suppose, putting down something which isn't popular to feel better about themselves. Christians are "idiots", therefore I am smart. The same people are generally afraid to call out Islam.

 

[Martialarts101]

White women have kind of ruined it.


It still matters in cultures that aren't twisted.

Yep. On the other hand, male archetypes also still exist in most other cultures. I have never seen the apologetic, self-hating and effeminate "males" I see amongst modern Europeans and European Americans in any other culture.

 

[Amerikuracana]

Because its popular to mock and dismiss religion. Its levelling I suppose, putting down something which isn't popular to feel better about themselves. Christians are "idiots", therefore I am smart. The same people are generally afraid to call out Islam.

It's a pretty small basement dwelling community that says "Christians are idiots." Smart people see things a different.

 

[Palooka]

Scoff if you will but when you took religion out of the equasion, marriage became more about girls having a big party where people pay attention to them .

Nothing means much anymore now that we have no morals as a society.

Quote of the day.

Cheers

 

[WARRIOR POET]

Did marriage ever mean that two people loved each other, etc. etc.?

what is your definition of "love"

(and not being "in love")

 

[WARRIOR POET]

lol women file for divorce more often than men.

um, and?

men can't cheat more and also be more likely to pay alimony?

 

[WARRIOR POET]

Interestingly, I think the Internet is bringing things back around.

I'm stealing the theory from a greater mind than I, but the idea is that the Internet is creating a global village. Before the internet, there were planes and telephones and families could be spread out. If you did dumb shit, it would only reflect on you because chances are no one knew where you were from.

But with the Internet and social media, shame is becoming a part of our culture again. There are consequences to being an idiot in the same way that there used to be when we lived in small, close communities. People can't be quite as selfish. Hopefully it has a positive impact on marriage culture.

i would say you are exactly wrong

social media makes cheating more likely and marriages more likely to fail. period/

this global village bullshit is just the ultimate PC "you should do this" narcissist party where we can do anything as long as no one else's feeling's get hurt.

 

[TheonGreyJoy**]

I have no idea why people are surprised that the divorce rate is so high. People fuck up everything else, why are they surprised that two people can't find a way to get along living that close together? When there is no significant social stigma around divorce, people should expect that it would be high, I think. It's not a sign of social decay or any other bullshit. It's just the reality of people living together.

this is the right answer if you also add in the financial incentive of divorce that often exists for women.

Marriage is something that requires immense compromise.

In the past that burden was disproportionately borne by women because the man brought the bulk of the wealth into the home and the cost of divorce and being left with nothing was so high. Often they would also lose their children too as they could not prove they could take care of them without the man's income. So of course the woman complied even often in a home where she was abused.

today that has completely changed. Men still are bringing the bulk of wealth into the home and even though they share it they have the most say. Women now in a challenging marriage have a clear choice. Compromise more and still live mostly under his supervision since he is still bringing in the wealth, or divorce him and take half and report only to yourself. It actually creates an incentive to leave to gain a control not prior had.

 

[WARRIOR POET]

Lol def not in America. I've slept with multiple married women (no I don't feel bad, there the ones that are married not me, and it's a free country for grown ups to make their own choices)

EDIT: Also my boss who is a married woman is unhappy and sleeping with a separate co-worker who also is unhappy and married.

Plus basically any person I know with a boyfriend/girlfriend cheats.

sounds like everyone around you is a fucking coward who doesn't have the balls to be who they really are. instead they are playing russian roulette for fucking live version flesh lights

 

[CreativeTomato]

Its because marriage used to be considered permanent so people didn't jump into it so blindly.

Today, people get engaged after dating for 3 months.

I actually know someone who got enagaged and knocked up by a rebound dude after only 4 months. Yep.

 

[Tycho- Taylor's Version]

Christians were persecuted in this thread.

 

[TalkinNoise]

I wonder if avoiding getting married young in this generation is avoiding a potential pitfall in life. At that point now... I question my girlfriend's desire for marriage. The intent sits ill with me and I try to figure out why while staying balanced. It's not easy.

 

[wlu29]

Lol def not in America. I've slept with multiple married women (no I don't feel bad, there the ones that are married not me, and it's a free country for grown ups to make their own choices)

EDIT: Also my boss who is a married woman is unhappy and sleeping with a separate co-worker who also is unhappy and married.

Plus basically any person I know with a boyfriend/girlfriend cheats.

That's a pretty negative situation and outlook

 

[aldeniro78]

Divorce has become so common that people don't feel the shame that being a divorcee used to bring. Now it's like something everyone goes through at some point.

There's also the fact that the legal system makes the whole process so easy. Unless you get some old fashioned judge, a couple can probably get a divorce granted by saying they don't get along.

Marriage is nothing but a joke piece of paper and a couple pieces of jewelry.

 

[Leagon]

i would say you are exactly wrong

social media makes cheating more likely and marriages more likely to fail. period/

this global village bullshit is just the ultimate PC "you should do this" narcissist party where we can do anything as long as no one else's feeling's get hurt.

My post said literally the opposite of what you're assuming it said.

To those who had mentioned interest in the whole "Internet creating a global village" thing, I don't remember who I stole the theory from or where I got it. I probably read it in a Communications textbook in college. If I find it again, I'll post it.

I wonder if avoiding getting married young in this generation is avoiding a potential pitfall in life. At that point now... I question my girlfriend's desire for marriage. The intent sits ill with me and I try to figure out why while staying balanced. It's not easy.

There was some author who attributed this as the main reason for the increase in divorce. The 20s are the formative adulthood years and when people would get married young back in the day, they'd spend these formative years with this other person. Even if they hated the person after that, their entire identity revolved around them.

Now we form our identities in our 20s and into our 30s then we try to find some other equally fully formed person. It's like taking out two pieces of Play-Doh, letting them bake in the sun for an hour, then trying to put them together; it won't work.