a good friend of mine from the navy died recently. when we were in we went everywhere together and did lots of dumb shit, as young guys do. after we all got out we went all over the world. some stayed in and moved up (which blows me away), a few went into the oil fields (one is in the gulf), i did healthcare, and some others did engineering stuff and whatnot. we've all done pretty well and stay in touch, everyone except for one friend of mine. he went to jail for a few years for some kind of credit card fraud in florida. changed him. i went to stay with him a couple years ago for a few days and another one of our buddies from the ship came. great time. never got a hint anything was wrong other than his views about a certain group (there were only 3 of us that are white and we ate thanksgiving dinner at one of our black friends houses, with his japanese wife and blasian kids) and some stories about his interactions with police. skip ahead to last week and he's found dead, probable overdose. now none of that is particularly horrible given that that's where alcoholism leads and i can accept it. i see it all the time at work. what was sad was how few people came to his memorial. i drove 5 hours each way to say goodbye, in spite of my mother having terminal cancer and going to see the oncologist at 3 in the afternoon the very next day. one of the people that showed up said the smoked crack with him. jesus. craziest thing is that one of the judges that put him in jail was there. apparently he tried to take him in and loved him like a son, but you can't stop somebody else. i drove home in silence afterward. no radio or anything. this was worse than the news about my mother somehow. i know i couldn't do anything to stop it. i know i couldn't really help. doesn't stop the guilt. the funeral was the saddest/most pathetic event i've ever seen. somebody used his credit card after he died as well, although I actually believe he'd have wanted that knowing him.