a good friend of mine from the navy died recently. when we were in we went everywhere together and did lots of dumb shit, as young guys do. after we all got out we went all over the world. some stayed in and moved up (which blows me away), a few went into the oil fields (one is in the gulf), i did healthcare, and some others did engineering stuff and whatnot. we've all done pretty well and stay in touch, everyone except for one friend of mine. he went to jail for a few years for some kind of credit card fraud in florida. changed him. i went to stay with him a couple years ago for a few days and another one of our buddies from the ship came. great time. never got a hint anything was wrong other than his views about a certain group (there were only 3 of us that are white and we ate thanksgiving dinner at one of our black friends houses, with his japanese wife and blasian kids) and some stories about his interactions with police. skip ahead to last week and he's found dead, probable overdose. now none of that is particularly horrible given that that's where alcoholism leads and i can accept it. i see it all the time at work. what was sad was how few people came to his memorial. i drove 5 hours each way to say goodbye, in spite of my mother having terminal cancer and going to see the oncologist at 3 in the afternoon the very next day. one of the people that showed up said the smoked crack with him. jesus. craziest thing is that one of the judges that put him in jail was there. apparently he tried to take him in and loved him like a son, but you can't stop somebody else. i drove home in silence afterward. no radio or anything. this was worse than the news about my mother somehow. i know i couldn't do anything to stop it. i know i couldn't really help. doesn't stop the guilt. the funeral was the saddest/most pathetic event i've ever seen. somebody used his credit card after he died as well, although I actually believe he'd have wanted that knowing him.
I have to bump this thread to add that watching my dad try and help my mom to the bedside commode while she's in home hospice, knowing he had to do this all for his mother when she died while he was about 18, hasn't eclipsed my friend dying in the first post but it is damned close. The only reason it's less sad is because she has people here with her that love her and people will show up to say goodbye
Well your situation was worse then mine by far, the single saddest moment in my life was five years ago at my best friends funeral ( he died of an overdose). As we were carrying in his casket his grandpa ( who was like a father to him) stopped us, stared at his coffin and said "Goodbye Corey" while at the same time bursting out in tears, it was probably the only time emotion had made me almost throw up.
At my grandfathers funeral, his best friend of 60 years, who also served with him in WWII standing and sleeping while crying his eyes out as they lowered the casket. Saddest thing I've ever seen.
that's horrific i should add the prison thing was in florida is that apparently if you're from out of state they put you in max security, way more than he needed (not sure if i'm 100% accurate). he said you never want to be the salt in a pepper shaker.
I'm the same way. I had a cat for almost twenty years who I had to send back to live with my mom shortly before my daughter was born because his ear got infected and were couldn't afford the vet bills. He died about six weeks after my daughter was born (on my father's birthday, who died in 07), so not only does that day kick my ass, but my mom later told me that the cast would sit in the door way to my old room every day until he died waiting for me to come back home, just like Fry's dog on futurama. Can't watch that episode without completely losing my shit anymore.
Seeing your friend laying dead in a box at 25 from an overdose is a pain indescribable, especially if most of your memories include you right there beside him chopping up lines
I worked in an orphanage in Cambodia for about a year. Lots of sick kids, girls who had been forced intonorostitution and had AIDS...who were 12-16 and dying. Hat was pretty sad. I like to think I made a difference there but there was way too much shit, I'm gone and forgotten from there. I had a buddy at work who got cancer and had no family and I basically helped take care of him until he went into assisted living. Even then, I was the only one who visited him. I took care of my grandpa as he was on his way out but he was like 90 so it was sad but it was his time.
Family friend, young guy in his 30's dying from cancer. His family threw a party for him before he got really sick. He gave a speech to everyone at the party. At first he was very stoic and cracking jokes then about halfway through he said that his greatest regret will be not being able to watch his own children grow up at which point he burst into tears. I went home and cried that night. One of he saddest things I've ever experienced.
That is quite literally an example of why life isn't fair, 30 seems to be the age where you really start to understand and establish a solid life just in time for it to be taken away
Best friend died in a car accident when we were 17. His older brother tried to come tell me but I didn't like him so avoided him all night. When he finally found me and told me, i felt like shit for avoiding him. I actually ended up hating him more for being the one to tell me even though that's not rational. Also had a girl that had an ectopic pregnancy and another that had a miscarriage. Always wanted a kid and finally got one but getting there took longer than I thought it would and was little hard. I'm an older dad than I wanted to be and worried about either of us outliving the other.
My mother at my fathers funeral in 2005 only to be surpassed at my brothers funeral 10 years later. There's nothing like a mothers love.
Watching my mom's lips fade to purple after they took her off the ventilator (stroke, all brain activity ceased after surgery). Fucking terrible.
When these type of threads pop it just kills me inside. there was one a few weeks back about people who were close to you that have passed on and at some point I just had to close the window and just re-collect myself. Thanks all for sharing.
My dad had cancer and had to retire from his job a few years ago, so he bought an RV for he and my mom to drive around the country when he got better. He kept saying how he's always wanted an RV his whole life and was really excited. He called me when it got delivered and texted photos of it and then he died about 2 hours later on his rocking chair. The guy was nice enough to take the RV back but it was still in their driveway when I went home for the funeral.
Having a kid die in my arms after a car accident when i was a cop. Cpr for 20 minutes and they called it in the ambulance. Got reamed for not having a barrier too but it was a dying kid. Didnt care.
had to identify vicitims from a VBIED in Afghanistan. one of them was the combat stress dog that toured around helping people. the dog got me, don't even know why cuz i'm not an animal lover
The parts of being a cop nobody hears about, a good friend of mine is a cop and he's always told me bad automotive accidents were by far the worst part of the job because you have no idea what you will find or see
Ran a 10 year old once who had hanged himself. He was dead but since he was a 10yr old I worked it anyway. Adrenaline got me through the call ok but at the hospital we all continued to work the code and there was probably half a dozen nurses just crying their eyes out and that was what got me. Seeing these women, most of whom were mothers trying to save this kid, knowing it was useless. I've seen a lot of tragedies but that one has, and always will stick with me.
