Rogue One question -- what was realistic about it? (possible spoilers)

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by JosephDredd, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. JosephDredd

    JosephDredd Gold Belt

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    I've heard a lot of people raving about how realistic this movie portrarys war, which I find utterly baffling. Which part of Rogue One was realistic?

    Was it when an eighteen-year-old girl beat up an Imperial squadron?

    When a blind monk beat up an imperial squadron?

    When a sassy robot beat up an imperial squadron and then was sassy throughout the movie?

    Was it when a legendary extremist chose to die a horrible death instead of getting on a plane with them?

    Was it when the pilot was tortured by an alien blob creature with no physical or emotional scarring afterwards?

    Was it when she saw the last hologram from her father and was the only person who knew the secret he built into the superweapon?

    Was it when the girl snuck onto a secret military installation so her father could die in her arms?

    Was it when a small group of military fighters listened to a rousing speech from a teen and then stole a military vessel to attack the Empire single handedly?

    Was it when a blind monk helped them infiltrate a large military installation by helping to kill the guards in stealthy hand-to-hand combat?

    Was it when a blind monk saves the day under heavy enemy fire?

    Was it the realistic depiction of a dogfight in space, with noise, gravity and hyperspace warping?

    Was it the realistic depiction of a superweapon hanging over the horizon?

    Was it when the squadron of space fighters had to bring down the planetary shields?

    Was it when the sassy robot sacrificed himself to save the day?

    Was it when the spunky teenage girl confronted her mother's killer in hand-to-hand combat and got to enjoy the look on his face when he realized who she was?

    Was it when the evil space wizard attacked people with his super-powers?


    Answers:


    Was it when an eighteen-year-old girl beat up an Imperial squadron?


    Yes. Remember when that orphan single-handedly beat up the Boer army, inspiring Charles Dickens?

    When a blind monk beat up an imperial squadron?

    Yes, Mussolini was continuously thwarted by a blind italian priest waving a dry baguette at his men.

    When a sassy robot beat up an imperial squadron and then was sassy throughout the movie?

    Yes. This is the part of the Alan Turing story that hasn't been declassified yet.

    Was it when a legendary extremist chose to die a horrible death instead of getting on a plane with them and possibly bringing down the empire?

    This checks out. Most people don't know that kamikaze pilots just couldn't be arsed to return home again because it was such a chore getting in and out of their flight suits.

    Was it when the pilot was tortured by an alien blob creature with no physical or emotional scarring afterwards?

    Yep. Most people don't realize, but PTSD was called "a case of nerves" by the Victorian people and was primarily suffered by those who were subjected to pillow fights by enemy captors.

    Was it when she saw the last hologram from her father and was the only person who knew the secret he built into the superweapon?


    Yep. Most troops on special missions wind up in a situation where moving personal moments play out with long-lost family members dying in their arms.

    Was it when the girl snuck onto a secret military installation so her father could die in her arms?

    Again, this happens so often that spec ops fighters actually receive specialized training to dealing with poetic moments that may test them during their mission.

    Was it when a small group of military fighters listened to a rousing speech from a teen and then stole a military vessel to attack the Empire single handedly?


    Yep. This is why Ignacio Comonfort led a revolution against his own government. A bland teen with no personality set his passions ablaze with one deft speech.

    Was it when a blind monk helped them infiltrate a large military installation by helping to kill the guards in stealthy hand-to-hand combat?


    Blind monks were the primary cause of Hitler's downfall.

    Was it when a blind monk saves the day under heavy enemy fire?


    Again, this checks out. Many instances of battles won by blind monks wandering through enemy fire.

    Was it the realistic depiction of a dogfight in space, with noise, gravity and hyperspace warping?

    Yep. We discovered this during the Apollo 11 mission when the Yankee astronaut had to drop kick that space gremlin out an air lock. Luckily he had just been reunited with his lost (in space) father, which gave him the strength he needed to fight on.

    Was it the realistic depiction of a superweapon hanging over the horizon?


    Yep. This is the last thing Gaddafi saw.

    Was it when the squadron of space fighters had to bring down the planetary shields?


    Most people don't know that a specialized squadron of black fighters were responsible for most of the laser shields being circumvented in WWII.

    Was it when the sassy robot sacrificed himself to save the day?

    This checks out. Hitler's sassy typewriter was actually working with the allies.

    Was it when the spunky teenage girl confronted her mother's killer in hand-to-hand combat and got to enjoy the look on his face when he realized who she was?

    Yep. Franco was undone when he realized he was in the third act of a hero's journey belonging to a tough, but spunky, teenager.

    Was it when the evil space wizard attacked people with his super-powers?


    I think we all remember what turned the tied against the Americans in 'Nam.
     
  2. Tamriel Terror

    Tamriel Terror Silver Belt

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    Why are you so triggered by comments?

    They say war like meaning the struggle and just being scared and lots of death aka the entire beach scene.
     
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  3. wonderbread

    wonderbread Stiff Member

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    The racism... all the white folks were bad.
     
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  4. jabba the punk

    jabba the punk Purple Belt

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    It's one of the most grounded Star Wars films. It's still a sci-fi fantasy film, so yes, space ships and aliens aren't realistic.

    If you watch the movie by immersing yourself in the experience, like you should any movie or book, you can notice how the storm troopers were dirtier, the violence was gritier, and jedis were not there to save the day. People died; a lot.

    Don't understand your question about realism when referring to a sci-fi fantasy film.

    Also, I'm an army vet and I think their portrayal of war was pretty realistic in terms or a sci-fi fantasy film.
     
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  5. bref

    bref Black Belt

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    I got really high and went to this yesterday. Fell asleep in the theater.
     
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  6. clutchCAT420

    clutchCAT420 Black Belt

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    Ts should stick with watching transformers and deadpool movies...
     
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  7. Oedad

    Oedad Green Belt

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    All you fuckers missed his point. He is talking about the reality of warfare and its effects on the human mind and body.

    Hes not talking about the scifi technology and space ships.

    This movie is being held as some sort of exposition on the realities of combat, and insight into the human spirit, while in reality its two rungs above transformers in its depth and meaning, but fans hold up anything with the right logo stamped on it like its a masterpiece of art.
     
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  8. JosephDredd

    JosephDredd Gold Belt

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    How do you respond to the many people who say that it's the movie's job to be of high enough quality to pull people into the experience and have them suspend their disbelief?

    I'd like to hear more about this. What did you do in the army and how does it translate to watching a movie about magical space wizards? What would the movie have looked like if it was less realistic, in your eyes?
     
  9. JosephDredd

    JosephDredd Gold Belt

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    Oh, of course. STAR STRUGGLES: A NEW HOPE.

    Harry Potter was pretty dark at the end. Lots of death and struggling. Did you feel that was a realistic portrayal of wizards going to war?
     
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  10. JosephDredd

    JosephDredd Gold Belt

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    I agree. TS should stfu if he can't recognize how brilliant this movie is.
     
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  11. JosephDredd

    JosephDredd Gold Belt

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    this. Lots of people, some even on this board, are raving about its realistic portrayal of war. Baffling.
     
  12. Hyperglide

    Hyperglide Enrolled at Synth-a-holics Anonymous

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    Lmao at referring to the 30 year old Felicity Jones, whose a bad ass btw as a "teen girl." Stopped reading there.

    I think the reason why people call it "realistic" is because its gritty and shot like a war film. It's still star wars but it's the grittiest film we've got in the series besides probably Empire.
     
  13. JosephDredd

    JosephDredd Gold Belt

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    Didn't they say she was eighteen or nineteen in the movie? Forest Whitaker's character says he rescued her sixteen years ago and she was three at the time iirc.
     
  14. Hyperglide

    Hyperglide Enrolled at Synth-a-holics Anonymous

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    She was like 6-8 and probably portrayed as a mid 20s woman. Not some pushover teenie bopper. They pretty clearly set her up as a freedom fighter and vigilante throughout the entire movie, but your shitty analytical views didn't recognize that, so because you can't pick up on obvious stuff like that I can't take your thread seriously.
     
  15. JosephDredd

    JosephDredd Gold Belt

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    they DID set her up as a generic action hero. that shuts my mouth, that's for sure.

    there must be some fan site that can tell us if these estimations you pulled out of your ass are any better than mine.

    even then, i admit you're right: i forgot all those mid twenties bad ass women who took out entire squads of SS, roused allied troops to steal a vessel and single-handedly confronted Hitler and defeated his plans
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2016
  16. MadSquabbles500

    MadSquabbles500 Steel Belt

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    Does Felicity Jones show any booby? Is there any hot chicks doing chicks in this movie?
     
  17. spin

    spin Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    It was more realistic in that you saw more casualties from the "good" side on screen.

    You see Jyn save a crying little girl, only to have her get blown up several minutes later.


    It was a lot less fun and adventure, a lot less "luminous beings we are" and cool glowing swords distracting from all the mass murder going on in these movies.

    It was just a slightly more adult version of the star wars world.
     
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  18. jabba the punk

    jabba the punk Purple Belt

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    I'm also an army vet and I think their portrayal of war was pretty realistic in terms or a sci-fi fantasy film.
    I can't tell whether you're a troll or just a lonely dude looking for attention via online arguments. If you had difficulty getting into the film, then I'm simply sorry you were one of the few who didn't like it. You missed out on a good time. But I get you. The films not perfect by any means so take a look at this from my perspective. I've grown up on Star Wars my whole damn life and I love it. Maybe it has to do with the fact I had a rough upbringing and the Star Wars universe was an outlet from my piss poor miserable situation. Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, Han, Chewie, Leia; you know the rest. They were as real to me as my elementary school friends. That being said, watching Rogue One brought me back to that familiar world, but this time around I was given a glance into its much darker side, a side no Star Wars fan had ever seen (but read through the EU). You wont understand but I'm sure some fan here will agree that seeing those x-wing and y-wing pilots going back in forth in their space pilot jargon was a nerdgasming experience. If you ask me, maybe the film was made for the fans, and with that much said, I'm a Star Wars fan so go figure why I loved it.

    https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/rogue_one_a_star_wars_story/
    Read the reviews of the film and see what all the rave was about, because it was clearly well received film.

    If you wanted that much of a realistic taste of war from a (((STARWARS))) film ie; a scifi fantasy movie, you should of watch a documentary or simply enlisted in the military. Which leads me to your next question. What did I do in the military?; I like my privacy but I'll tell you this much, I was a 13 series (field artillery) and it was a hard job. Worst part about it was waking up for PT formation mon-fri. Loved it though, made some great life friends. Want to know more? Go see your local recruiter and tell him I sent yah ;)
     
  19. Strange King

    Strange King Strange Music

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    Bro space is real
     
  20. surgeyou1

    surgeyou1 Welcome to the Machida Era...Part Deux

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    All the good guys die.
     
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