1. Come join Sherdog.com writers Ant Walker and Jason Burgos for our live video chat series titled "The Trenches," LIVE NOW, Click Here!

Relationship with your coach/instructor

Discussion in 'Grappling Technique' started by BJJ4ever, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. BJJ4ever

    BJJ4ever White Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2010
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Guys!

    I am curious to see what your relationship is like with your coach/instructor. It seems like my instructor is buddies with some of the people at the gym. Sometimes I get that feeling that he/they don't really like me.

    Do you think it really matters if you are "buddies" with your coach as long as you have a good working relationship? Are there any well known love/hate relationships between instructors and famous grapplers?

    Thanks in advance for your responses.
     
  2. InfiniteWit

    InfiniteWit Orange Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have a great relationship with my ju jitsu coach. My wrestling coach pretty much used to ignore me until I started winning but that's the nature of high school sports.
     
  3. Varth

    Varth Green Belt

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2009
    Messages:
    1,104
    Likes Received:
    3
    My BJJ instructor looks evil and stressed all the time. He's only friends with a few of the "old" guys from the gym. I've been there 4 years (not doing BJJ, started about one year ago) and he still doesn't talk too much to me. He just teaches technique and stuff. My MT instructor is another thing. He's always cheery and is really good friends even with the guys who have been there for less than one month. I can count on him for anything really. I've been with him with 4 years and he's one of the best people I know. He's extremely funny.
     
  4. Jagcorps_esq

    Jagcorps_esq Red Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2008
    Messages:
    9,356
    Likes Received:
    62
    Location:
    Colorado Springs
    I'm in a different sort of situation.

    I came from another school, so I'm in a learning stage now that is a bit odd. I think they pay more attention to me, mostly just to see what I know and where I'm damaged. I think that I surprise them and then dismay them with the randomness of what I know and don't know.

    I haven't been there long enough to really get that "buddy" thing yet.
     
  5. grayam

    grayam Yellow Belt

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2010
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've been in the unfortunate situation of not being able to attend class regularly (and won't be for another two weeks), so at this point I think everyone lumps me with the guys who come to three classes and then quit. Even still, my instructor does take interest in me just like any other student. He's a friendly guy and very encouraging.
     
  6. lechien

    lechien Gold Belt

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    16,210
    Likes Received:
    1,287
    The relationship between instructor and students in BJJ is the weirdest ever.
     
  7. BJJ4ever

    BJJ4ever White Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2010
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    ^^^What do you mean?
     
  8. BJJHERO

    BJJHERO White Belt

    Joined:
    May 31, 2010
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    How come?
     
  9. lechien

    lechien Gold Belt

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    16,210
    Likes Received:
    1,287
    due to high expectation of "loyalty" and respect while they still sign you up for a contract...too much drama.

    hard to be buddy-buddy with someone that make a living of teaching the art.

    it is just an awkward position.
     
  10. BatBoyJG

    BatBoyJG Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Messages:
    3,479
    Likes Received:
    1,221
    Location:
    NYC
    Our relationship is the best lol, more like a father figure. Lots of good laughs, advice, and attention is given
     
  11. tk99

    tk99 Blue Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2010
    Messages:
    735
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Nor Cal
    my bjj instructor is one of the nicest dudes i've ever met. he doesn't have anything but good will towards everyone in the gym. i'm still pretty much amazed by it.

    only thing is sometimes his english is hard to understand. he's worth the patience.
     
  12. FSUfightfan06

    FSUfightfan06 Yellow Belt

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Messages:
    228
    Likes Received:
    1
    My teacher is the best. Our club is really small though. My teacher screens people so that it really is just like a big family, we are all up in each other's business and trading techniques and hints and the boss just kinda chips in and works with everyone. I think if I asked him for the rashguard off his back he'd give it to me. Though it might not fit my fat ass.
     
  13. jasond

    jasond Purple Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2005
    Messages:
    2,068
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Morgan City, LA
    This.

    My instructor is probably the most stand-up guy I've ever met. Every other UFC or so, he has a party at his house the upper belts; those of us who've been with him for several years.

    Every now and then, we go out to dinner after class (freshening up and changing into clean clothes first, of course! :icon_chee ).

    We don't hang out every day or anything like that, but he's always got my back and I've got his.
     
  14. dataws6

    dataws6 Blue Belt

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    On my way to Germany
    My current instructor is a very nice guy around the same age as me. I look at him as more of a friend, great instructor, and training partner other than a business transaction. I left my last gym for more than just this reason but,,, the instructor was younger than me and had the Im the Sensie or Master of the gym attitude so it played a small role in my changing gyms. When rolling, the current instructor has fun with me and laughs a little but its more of me saying you cant sweep me and him laughing when he does or telling me go to sleep when choking me. The last instructor was just constantly laughing everytime he got a sweep or submission etc. It felt more like a showing of how much better he was and the present instructor more of a teaching and slowly showing how he will get the transition or sub.
    I guess for me BJJ is a hobby that I love and wish I could spend more time on but I have a career, and a wife and Im 32, so its not something I am pursuing to become the next world champion or turn into an MMA career or anything like that. For the instructors here in Korea it is their way of life and also their career. So I can see how it is different perspective from a person who does it for fun and somone who uses it to keep food on the table.
     
  15. Fight Skillz**

    Fight Skillz** Banned Banned

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2010
    Messages:
    377
    Likes Received:
    1
    its not liked that everywhere
     
  16. BizarroPutin

    BizarroPutin Blue Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2009
    Messages:
    738
    Likes Received:
    1
    relationships are very important. even if you aren't "buddies" with your instructor its important to have mutual respect and good communication. if your instructor knows you well enough he will be able to better understand why you do what you do (good or bad) on the mat. also you'll understand them better and start to pick up on their game

    I train at an associate school so I have a few instructors. I don't get to train with the head of our association very often, so that is a much more formal relationship... I'm sure I would benefit by spending more time with him, but its logistically hard.

    however I know the instructors at my school pretty well now. they're kinda like big brothers to me. we joke around sometimes but other times its serious. I'd say I definitely benefit on the mat by knowing these guys as people. We communicate much better and they can spot holes in my tactics and strategies. I think its also good to get to know your training partners. it builds trust and frees you up to try things out and flow and let things happen
     
  17. Cash Bill 52

    Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2006
    Messages:
    4,333
    Likes Received:
    1,496
    Location:
    Pleasant Hill, CA
    Caio is twenty years younger than me but sometimes he treats me like a strict parent. When Caio first came, he rubbed people the wrong way. He's stubborn, strong willed, and a perfectionist. Off the mat he used to act like a teenager, but he has come a long way. He's maturing into a fine young man. We hang out pretty regularly. He considers me an important member of the team. I hope he has found a home here. Cesar has hired great coaches over the years but they move on. I think Caio is going to stay for a while.

    Cesar is a cool friend that I'll hang out with at the holidays and UFC's. Then we'll go long periods of not hanging out followed by periods of hanging out.

    My jiu jitsu buddies are my family in California.
     
  18. RGVBadBoy

    RGVBadBoy Blue Belt

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Messages:
    626
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rio Grande Valley, Texas
    My instructor and I are pretty good friends, I have been training with him for the last 4yrs when he moved to our area and started training at the original school I started at, soon after he realized he was more advanced than my old bluebelt instructor and started training friends for free in his garage, since then I've never left.... I'm like a stray cat, you feed me once and I'm yours for life!!!!

    WAR PARAGON!!!!
     
  19. Blunt Trauma

    Blunt Trauma SUBMISSION BELT- Just Tap.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    8,717
    Likes Received:
    63
    Location:
    Triple City
    Your performance on the mat speaks for itself.

    Regardless of whether you're buddies with him or not any self respecting instructor would promote you when you deserve it.

    Don't worry about it.

    Keep on learning....
     
  20. Steve3730

    Steve3730 Green Belt

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2008
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Chicago
    like a family. ball busting in the class ball busting via text message and FB. a lot of time we'll all BBQ together or go out drinking together. its an awesome fun atmosphere
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.