Psychological hypocrisy of being with a cheater

[Fedorgasm]

I'll try not to get too gross about this because I'm genuinely curious as to your thoughts and don't want this to get moved to the OT.

If a girl cheated on me then one of the worst parts is thinking about another dude having been inside her. Like she would feel gross to me. Even if I forgave her instantly, I probably wouldn't want to bang her for a while.

However, if I was the one banging some other dude's girl, it somehow feels less gross physically. Even though another guy has been inside her recently.

Why is that?

I mean in both cases you're stirring another dude's pudding. But why does it feel more gross when you're the victim and not the cheater? It's it simply because you didn't choose it?

 

[Prefect]

Because you are a closet homosexual.

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

I'll try not to get too gross about this because I'm genuinely curious as to your thoughts and don't want this to get moved to the OT.

If a girl cheated on me then one of the worst parts is thinking about another dude having been inside her. Like she would feel gross to me. Even if I forgave her instantly, I probably wouldn't want to bang her for a while.

However, if I was the one banging some other dude's girl, it somehow feels less gross physically. Even though another guy has been inside her recently.

Why is that?

I mean in both cases you're stirring another dude's pudding. But why does it feel more gross when you're the victim and not the cheater? It's it simply because you didn't choose it?

That's because with your girl there's an emotional attachment and a sense of betrayal, while with the other dude's girl it's just a carnal desire release for you, and unleashing your animalistic instinct of being a alpha male

 

[jeff7b9]

In the 2nd scenario you are not being betrayed.
But you are actively and knowing participating in betrayal.

Also, how could anyone ever trust a person that they know cheated on their last partner?

 

[Hellowhosthat]

It's more an issue of betrayal of trust than who put what in which pudding.

 

[ObsoleteSoul]

Couldn't really say. Not a fan of sharing in any situation, so it would never feel "right" to me.

 

[Fedorgasm]

It's more an issue of betrayal of trust than who put what in which pudding.

I know that. Betrayal would be the most upsetting emotional part.

But I was just taking about the feeling of grossness in addition to the betrayal.

But I suppose the betrayal could make the gross factor stronger.

 

[Spam On Rye]

Because you're a degenerate.

 

[Fedorgasm]

What if it has to do with a sense of ownership?

Like if you steal someone's car, you're not worrying about all the things the owner did to that car.

But if someone stole your car and you got it back a few days later, you'd probably be stressing over how much he abused that car while he had it.

Did he go off roading? Did he red-line the engine? Did he fart in my seat? Did he pick his nose and then touch my steering wheel?

 

[Hellowhosthat]

What if it has to do with a sense of ownership?

Like if you steal someone's car, you're not worrying about all the things the owner did to that car.

But if someone stole your car and you got it back a few days later, you'd probably be stressing over how much he abused that car while he had it.

Did he go off roading? Did he red-line the engine? Did he fart in my seat? Did he pick his nose and then touch my steering wheel?

Did he stick his dick in the exhaust?

 

[Fedorgasm]

Did he stick his dick in the exhaust?

LOL that's the real issue, isn't it? Like if your girl let him do things that she didn't even let you do?

 

[Fedorgasm]

Because you're a degenerate.

Possibly.

I'm not advocating cheating, btw.

But in my younger days I once thought a girl cheated on me, and I also stole another dude's girl. And the whole stirring another dude's pudding thing felt way worse in the first scenario.

 

[traditionally_irreverent]

Did he go off roading? Did he red-line the engine? Did he fart in my seat? Did he pick his nose and then touch my steering wheel?

 

[RoastBeast]

This is quite possibly the biggest philosophical quandary of our time.

 

[Spam On Rye]

Possibly.

I'm not advocating cheating, btw.

But in my younger days I once thought a girl cheated on me, and I also stole another dude's girl. And the whole stirring another dude's pudding thing felt way worse in the first scenario.

Much respect. I get what you're saying though. I think men just value purity and loyalty.

 

[William Huggins]

It's not good for your character either way...... I wouldn't take a woman back if she cheated and I wouldn't fuck another man's girlfriend/wife, knowingly, I think it's degenerate behaviour and should be avoided.

It shows very basic low level thinking and a complete lack of impulse control, it's also desperate.

 

[method115]

I've been in both situations and neither has grossed me out. Then again when I was single I would have sex with women where that's all we did. Have sex, get high, watch tv and then I take them home. So I always just assumed they had some other dude they were banging as well. I don't see why I would be the only guy if we clearly aren't anything but fuck buddies.

 

[Osculater]

How do you like your iPad?

 

[William Huggins]

How do you like your iPad?

The trick is to buy your own iPad before they do and tell them whilst handling them the candle......

 

[Renard]

From an evolution standpoint, being cucked is the reproductive threat #1 for men. In scenario 1 where your girlfriend cheats on you, you're the one at risk of holding the bag. In scenario 2 where you're the one cheating, it's some other guy holding the bag. The disgust is probably the mechanism to make you get away from the woman because she's "compromised" (i.e. may be pregnant with someone else's child.) Since this is only an issue in scenario 1, you don't feel disgust in scenario 2.