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Pro tip thread

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Phlog, Oct 14, 2021.

  1. Phlog Dad Belt

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    I gotta pro tip for y'all.

    When your groceries delivery comes tell them you have covid-19 and they'll bag up all your groceries for you. If you tell them after you grab one of the boxes you get a free box!

    Winning.
     
  2. VulcanNervPinch Gold Belt

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    What do they do otherwise? Just throw it all on your driveway?
     
    Legumes and Phlog like this.
  3. Cole train Gold Belt

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    Pro tip

    If the voices outside ship walls start to call you by name, chant emperors prayers louder to drown them out
     
    Vergilius, Newtieg and Phlog like this.
  4. Phlog Dad Belt

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    Deliver in boxes with everything loose inside then you give boxes back after unloading it all. It's making me tired just thinking about it.
     
    Jack Fiddler likes this.
  5. 6000 SUX 8.2 M.P.G.

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    When ordering double meat at chipotle don’t ask for double meat until they’ve already scooped out the first portion. You’ll get more.
     
    Zebra Cheeks, revoltub, Mike and 2 others like this.
  6. Alphaboy Gold Belt

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    If your dog ever runs away from you and doesn't listen to your command, lie down on the floor.

    Your dog will instinctually come to check up on you. Did this the other day.
     
    The HAMA, Zebra Cheeks, dc007 and 6 others like this.
  7. HulkOnViagra Soldier Of Sinister Platinum Member

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    Or you can just let it run away and save yourself more money
     
    Isa, Mike, Alphaboy and 1 other person like this.
  8. Phlog Dad Belt

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    Pro tip after pro tip! A big dog can cost £25,000 over its life time. Small dog £12,000. So that big dog is a luxury car you don't own, and you pick up shit.
     
  9. Alphaboy Gold Belt

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    I'm deadass tempted to do that with this annoying af pup my wife surprise "gifted" me with.

    But that's a whooole 'nother thread.
     
  10. Zinger Potato belt

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    Did she really get the dog for you, or she wanted it herself and just said it is for you?

    Like the Simpsons episode, where Homer gave Marge a custom made bowling ball, that fit him perfectly, as a birthday gift, thinking that she won't want it and give it back to him instead.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2021
  11. Drain Bamage Banned Banned

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    You sound fat
     
  12. aerius Silver Belt

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    Dead pets are the perfect size for getting a septic tank started.
     
  13. Alphaboy Gold Belt

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    LITERALLY what everyone I told that story to said.

    <36>

    I'mma get her UFC Fightpass or something.
     
  14. west42 Black Belt

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    Is it a little yappy dog? If so there's like an 85% chance she's cucking you
     
    Speedy1 likes this.
  15. Phlog Dad Belt

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    Currently have covid chap, it's making everything a bit of a deal.
     
  16. Drain Bamage Banned Banned

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    My bad dude, hope you get well soon
     
    Phlog likes this.
  17. TankAbbott4Eva Gold Belt

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    If I wanted free box I'd just call your mum
     
    High Test With da Best and Phlog like this.
  18. StoneColdSteveAustin Silver Belt

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    Pro Tip


    If you’re a Manlet don’t go crazy in a bagel store or you’ll be filmed and put online.
     
    FinalFight and Phlog like this.
  19. GergreG Green Belt

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    Pro tip.

    You can't slam a revolving door.
     
  20. Provocateur Red Belt

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    Pro tip

    If a dude starts tapping your foot with his foot in the bathroom, RUN!
     

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