Possum breaks into bakery.... gets too fat to get away

Opossums are the ugliest critters I have ever seen. At least the ones we have here in Ohio. Ornery too.
 
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Possums are so cute, but they can be very annoying. I used to live in a place that had possums living in the walls and roof. It was virtually impossible to sleep.

Another time I found one in the backyard that looked injured, so I tried to pick him up in a towel, so I could take him to the vet. The little fucker ripped straight through the towel into my arm and I ended up in hospital as he casually strolled back to the top of the tree, turned around and gave me the finger.
 
Not a rodent! Fucking Daily Mail, is it too much to ask you look up the Wiki page for possums?

My jimmies are rustled out of all proportion.
 
I show up to the bakery at around 4am, and occasionally there will be rac****s tearing through the garbage cans. Those bastards are fearless. I've taken to throwing empty milk crates at them, and even then only a direct hit scares them off. I know a chef who keeps a fire extinguisher in his car to deal with them
 
Those creatures scare the piss outta' me. They usually chill all night outside my window like they're waiting to eat me.. :(
 
One of the ugliest species of animals that there is. Basically a mix between a rat and a pig.
 
Did it really get too fat to get away? Or did it hear someone come in and decided to..... (wait for it).... play possum!

ba-dum-tish
 
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