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Police warn of "Highly Addictive" product.

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by ralphc1, Jan 22, 2020.

  1. ralphc1 Titanium Belt Platinum Member

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    KENOSHA, Wis. (Gray News) – Police warned of a threat coming to the community.

    A Facebook post from the Kenosha Police Department struck an ominous tone, describing it as a “highly addictive substance.”

    Surely, the community about 30 miles south of Milwaukee was already up in arms, but authorities pulled no punches.

    “These substances go by several different street names,” the Facebook post continued. “Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Patties, Thanks-A-Lot, Peanut Butter Sandwich, Shortbread and S’mores are a few of them.”

    But what sort of monsters would torment southeast Wisconsin so?

    “This operation is run primarily by young girls who get you in with a good cause story and soon you’re hooked.”

    Oh, a classic addiction scheme. Get them hooked and create a lifelong customer.

    But the Kenosha police offered a way out.

    “If you come into contact with any of these cookies, you can drop them off at the Police Department,” the post continued. “Officers will be happy to assist with proper disposal.”

    Serve and protect, officers. Serve and protect.
     
  2. mb23100 Steel Belt

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    They need to attack the cheese curd epidemic that has plagued the state first.

    fat-packer-fan.jpg
     
  3. Zer Steel Belt

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    Something similar happened in my town except we found the police were fucken taking and selling all the shit that people were bringing them. It was crystal meth instead of cookies though
     
  4. weed ベルセルク

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  5. OverCoronavirus Pressure Mayberry = War Room, WR = OT. Shit. Banned

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    That's some gangsta shit.

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  6. OneManOrgy Banned Banned

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    Classic
     
  7. Sakurabaism Black Belt

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    Dammit women!
     
  8. Cole train Gold Belt

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    I just got my dick up first time in 2 weeks

    Had already gotten scared
     
  9. Bubzeh Silver Belt

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    Can't fucking believe I took Perez out of my fantasy football team 2 days ago...
     
  10. HARRISON_3 Steel Belt

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  11. Ares Black Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    It would be funnier if thousands of people weren't actually in jail for selling something just as harmless.
     
  12. faustian BRUTAL 5-4 Platinum Member

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    Thought they were talking about vape juice until they actually said "cookies"
     
  13. Pliny Pete Puts Butts In Seats

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    Did they offer competitive prices?
     
  14. Ezekiel 25:17 Brown Belt

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    Is that a real human?
     
  15. TheLinguist You’ve yee’d your last haw Banned

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    Expected it to be about donughts
     
  16. Jesus X Hunter eyes

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    <escalate99>
     
  17. therealdope Titanium Belt

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    Culvers Cheese curds and frozen custard are teh first thing that came to mind when I read the OP.
     
  18. Leonard Haid Minimalist Living the Illusory Dream

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    Yes, the biggest epidemic by far in Wisconsin is poor eating habits and alcohol.
     
  19. badascan Red Belt Platinum Member

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    Was having this conversation a few weeks ago... Has anyone picked up the onions torch as far as free physical newspaper/zine? Bigger cities all have one that has local events and ads but are there any similar to the onion out there?
     
  20. MusclesMarinara Friends with Bigfoot

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    I got my ass kicked in Wisconsin, you piece of shit....
    Whoops. Sorry wrong thread.
     

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