Pleasantly Violated

cooks1 said:
Go up to your boss, and whsiper in her ear, "Mines only 4 inches, but some girls like them that wide." :D

Never had a situation like that with a boss. But I did take a key claims manager of my companies largest customer out on a date once that was pretty fubar. I have mentioned this story on the forum a few times.

She asked me out straight up, so I thought saying no would be a bad idea. And she was decent enough looking.

We go out and have a good time, and we get back to the driveway of what I presume to be her place, and I ask if she wants me to come in. Without saying a word, she unzips my pants and gives me a quality hummer right there in the car. :icon_lol:

Grateful, and eager to return the favor and get some more, I again invite myself in. She says, "Nah, probably not a good idea, in fact we should probably get going." Right as I look at her a little puzzled, the outside light of the house comes on and a guy comes out screaming and yelling. So I quickly high tail it out of there, and then I ask her WTF is going on. Turns out that was her ex-husbands house. :eek:

Turns out the impetus for the break up of their marriage was that she walked in on some girl giving her husband a hummer. So after fleecing him in the divorce, she would periodically show up on his driveway and blow some guy just to further twist the knife.
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Everyone needs to read this, lol. cooks laying it down again.
 
cooks1 said:
Go up to your boss, and whsiper in her ear, "Mines only 4 inches, but some girls like them that wide." :D

Never had a situation like that with a boss. But I did take a key claims manager of my companies largest customer out on a date once that was pretty fubar. I have mentioned this story on the forum a few times.

She asked me out straight up, so I thought saying no would be a bad idea. And she was decent enough looking.

We go out and have a good time, and we get back to the driveway of what I presume to be her place, and I ask if she wants me to come in. Without saying a word, she unzips my pants and gives me a quality hummer right there in the car. :icon_lol:

Grateful, and eager to return the favor and get some more, I again invite myself in. She says, "Nah, probably not a good idea, in fact we should probably get going." Right as I look at her a little puzzled, the outside light of the house comes on and a guy comes out screaming and yelling. So I quickly high tail it out of there, and then I ask her WTF is going on. Turns out that was her ex-husbands house. :eek:

Turns out the impetus for the break up of their marriage was that she walked in on some girl giving her husband a hummer. So after fleecing him in the divorce, she would periodically show up on his driveway and blow some guy just to further twist the knife.
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I remember this fantastic story. So was that the end of it with her?
 
HARRISON_3 said:
Quality post. Was able to really visualize that experience.

Would read again.
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If you are a fan if visualization, try to visualize how to safely extricate yourself from this little situation.


The key decision maker of your employers largest customer asks you out on a date, where she blows you in the driveway of her ex-husbands house. Afterwards, whe would like to continue the relationship.

 
Jing said:
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I find these videos more entertaining than they are. Only time I watched local news this year was after biking past a bunch of kids waiting to ambush a live feed with FHRITP.
 
lakersfan45 said:
I remember this fantastic story. So was that the end of it with her?
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Well, it was kind of dicey, because she did want to go out again, and she was the key decision maker for my employers largest customer. So my first choice of plan-run like the wind-was not really viable.

So I went with my second plan- Continue going out with her for a little while, without making any real effort to woo or impress her, and hope she would lose interest in me. Which, thankfully, she did.
 
Damn Sam, you almost write Petererotica.
Thats some saucy stuff.

Will read again.
 
carebear said:
Damn Sam, you almost write Petererotica.
Thats some saucy stuff.

Will read again.
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Sam could probably make a ton if he collated all of his posts into a book of sorts. I'd buy it.

Although there may be copyright issues. Doesn't Sherdog technically have rights to what we post on here. I would really like to know the answer to that in case the wife divorces me and takes the kids, and I get really bored for a decade or so.
 
cooks1 said:
Sam could probably make a ton if he collated all of his posts into a book of sorts. I'd buy it.

Although there may be copyright issues. Doesn't Sherdog technically have rights to what we post on here. I would really like to know the answer to that in case the wife divorces me and takes the kids, and I get really bored for a decade or so.
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I dont think copy write would be a problem.
But who knows? SD might be all over getting this shit to a audio book.
Imagine Betty White reading.. I am almost taking my pants off now.
 
Sam Merlotte said:

I find these videos more entertaining than they are. Only time I watched local news this year was after biking past a bunch of kids waiting to ambush a live feed with FHRITP.
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How did you know they were going to FHRITP?
 
cooks1 said:
Sam could probably make a ton if he collated all of his posts into a book of sorts. I'd buy it.

Although there may be copyright issues. Doesn't Sherdog technically have rights to what we post on here. I would really like to know the answer to that in case the wife divorces me and takes the kids, and I get really bored for a decade or so.
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I forgot who but someone here penciled me in to write the next 50 Shades book.
 
Sam Merlotte said:
I forgot who but someone here penciled me in to write the next 50 Shades book.
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Have not read it. Though my sex life was measurably better when my wife was reading it. Maybe you could just send her a couple of anonymous saucy emails. :redface:
 
cooks1 said:
Go up to your boss, and whsiper in her ear, "Mines only 4 inches, but some girls like them that wide." :D

Never had a situation like that with a boss. But I did take a key claims manager of my companies largest customer out on a date once that was pretty fubar. I have mentioned this story on the forum a few times.

She asked me out straight up, so I thought saying no would be a bad idea. And she was decent enough looking.

We go out and have a good time, and we get back to the driveway of what I presume to be her place, and I ask if she wants me to come in. Without saying a word, she unzips my pants and gives me a quality hummer right there in the car. :icon_lol:

Grateful, and eager to return the favor and get some more, I again invite myself in. She says, "Nah, probably not a good idea, in fact we should probably get going." Right as I look at her a little puzzled, the outside light of the house comes on and a guy comes out screaming and yelling. So I quickly high tail it out of there, and then I ask her WTF is going on. Turns out that was her ex-husbands house. :eek:

Turns out the impetus for the break up of their marriage was that she walked in on some girl giving her husband a hummer. So after fleecing him in the divorce, she would periodically show up on his driveway and blow some guy just to further twist the knife.
Click to expand...
Well...I had a somewhat funny story but Jesus, this is just fantastic.
 
Sam Merlotte said:
I'm kind of new at the office. Don't eat lunch with the crew, don't party with them, ect. Cool people but every conversation within the group ends up being about the fucking Seahawks.

So the other day we're setting up for a meeting and my slightly older female boss said "he's a little quiet but you know Sam is a closet freak." :eek:

There were four other women within earshot and of course her statement caused an outburst of laughter. My back was turned. I have to spin around and respond before the laughter stops. "Takes one to know one..."

A bigger outburst of laughter. But my boss isn't laughing. She's giving me a sultry 'you don't know what you're getting into' look. Days later and she's still too flirty for comfort but damn does it make the day fun.

You fellas ever have little unexpected or even unwanted advances turn out better than expected?
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i've been with my company for almost ten years now. well, when i first started, i wasn't in the shape i'm in now. at about the six-month mark in, i started bicycling and lifting a lot. i still do to this day. so everyone at work saw that i was getting into shape. our h.r. woman, of all people, started flirting with me. in fact, during christmas, we started talking about christmas shopping, and about where we go to shop. so i said that i go to a particular mall in the city, and the h.r. woman goes, "oh, really? so do i!". and i was like, oh cool. later that day, she said that we should go together, since we're going to the same place. i obliged, but only because she was decent. if she was ugly, i would have said no. we didn't fuck, or even kiss. but i bet i probably could have.

don't shit on your own doorstep, etc. etc.
 
OP needs to go...

crawlin.jpg
 
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