Or use English and word it the way I said it. The way guys do say it. The way I know you don't have friends. First off, Losers hang out at the bar. If there isn't a comedy show, a concert or a special occasion, and you're just going to a dirty and dingy place to talk to guys and "shoot the shit" then you sound like a loser. Sorry.
Yes, friends do say girls look like shit if they have too much makeup on. Yes, I have heard people make jokes about girls looking like raccoons for having too much makeup.
You sound like someone who has never had friends or a girlfriend before.
Let's not even take into account that you're so eager to fool everyone that you're some alpha straight guy that you had to name your account TITS.