Overdose in the family.

[Deleted member 457759]

Has anyone else experienced this?

So, I was just informed that my uncle has overdosed and died. He had a really rough life and struggled with crime and addiction for most of it. His dad beat him and he left home early. Between him and his brother, (my other uncle who died a few months ago, they were identical twins) I spent a lot of time with them when I was a young teenager but that was cut short because they were an incredibly bad influence and they were drunk and on drugs all the time, and associated with low level organized crime.

The two were different, especially for identical twins. I won't speak negatively on this forum about the one, but the other that just died of an overdose, he was a really good guy. He was just messed up! Actually, the only reason why he didn't make it into the hell angels back in the day is because he didn't like hurting people. He was always an associate or hang around until he stopped that life all together. So needless to say I haven't had a lot of contact with him over the last 15-20 years. I use to clean windows and awnings with him for his business when he started to go straight. I understand it sounds weird that I say he was a good guy, but he was. He was always trying to make people laugh and never wanted to steal or hurt anyone. He wanted peoples approval more than anything.

He always liked me and wanted a bigger relationship with me but he was just too fucked up. I don't blame myself for that, I made contact with him a few years back and we had a great conversation. What bothers me is that for the last few months I've been wanting to get in contact with him and I never got around to it. He was clean and sober, recovered from Hep C and walking old peoples dogs for them. I was so happy to hear that about him and I really wanted to talk to him.

But now he's dead, of an overdose. So obviously he was cheating and his body and old age just couldn't take it.

And I never had an opportunity to speak to him again. There was drama in the family in the passed I wanted to settle too.

Does anyone else have a dysfunctional family and lost family to overdose?

 

[Medical Marijuana Man]

Sorry for your loss

I've had friends OD but never family. The best thing for you to do is focus on the positives and good times you've had with him.

I wish you all the best.

 

[Scott Parker 27]

Has anyone else experienced this?

So, I was just informed that my uncle has overdosed and died. He had a really rough life and struggled with crime and addiction for most of it. His dad beat him and he left home early. Between him and his brother, (my other uncle who died a few months ago, they were identical twins) I spent a lot of time with them when I was a young teenager but that was cut short because they were an incredibly bad influence and they were drunk and on drugs all the time, and associated with low level organized crime.

The two were different, especially for identical twins. I won't speak negatively on this forum about the one, but the other that just died of an overdose, he was a really good guy. He was just messed up! Actually, the only reason why he didn't make it into the hell angels back in the day is because he didn't like hurting people. He was always an associate or hang around until he stopped that life all together. So needless to say I haven't had a lot of contact with him over the last 15-20 years. I use to clean windows and awnings with him for his business when he started to go straight. I understand it sounds weird that I say he was a good guy, but he was. He was always trying to make people laugh and never wanted to steal or hurt anyone. He wanted peoples approval more than anything.

He always liked me and wanted a bigger relationship with me but he was just too fucked up. I don't blame myself for that, I made contact with him a few years back and we had a great conversation. What bothers me is that for the last few months I've been wanting to get in contact with him and I never got around to it. He was clean and sober, recovered from Hep C and walking old peoples dogs for them. I was so happy to hear that about him and I really wanted to talk to him.

But now he's dead, of an overdose. So obviously he was cheating and his body and old age just couldn't take it.

And I never had an opportunity to speak to him again. There was drama in the family in the passed I wanted to settle too.

Does anyone else have a dysfunctional family and lost family to overdose?

Sorry for your loss bro. I have lost a dad to suicide and almost lost my younger brother to h, but he was addicted to every sort of drug at one point or another, although he is doing better on subs now. I have lost 4 close friends due to substance abuse so I know what you are feeling and I still miss them. One friend was so fucked up he fell off a cliff into the ocean, one suicided by jumping off a bridge, another drank himself to death after joining the navy. You use them as fuel to not make those mistakes in your life. Live on for them.

 

[Jim Cozad Jr.]

Sorry to hear...I had a cousin od on heroin years ago...he was drinking himself to death also...long story, but he had a lot of issues...the last time I saw him was on Christmas Eve, he was really drunk and acting stupid...he was actually a really nice guy though...I still think about him a lot and it still bums me out thinking about how good of a life he could have had, had a few things gone differently for him or if he would have gotten some help...

 

[syct23]

What did he OD on...

 

[Deleted member 457759]

Sorry for your loss

I've had friends OD but never family. The best thing for you to do is focus on the positives and good times you've had with him.

I wish you all the best.

I'm trying to do that. We had some good times when we worked together when I was a teenager. I use to get weed from him back then.

I'm just heart broken that I couldn't talk to him one more time. I've come a long way in life, I could have ended up like him but I didn't and I wanted to show him that and compliment him on how good his life was going too.

 

[cooks1]

Sucks Bro. We recently buried my step brother. He OD'd on Christmas fucking day.

We knew each other as kids. When my Dad was still married to my Mom. We played on the same little league teams growing up from time to time. I was never close to the guy and never lived with him. My Dad married his Mom after I headed out for college. But I know his son reasonably well and watched him grow up from a distance.

It bums me out mainly because of my Dad and Step-Mom. They invested so much time, money and energy trying to turn that asshat around. They basically raised his kid. He went through spurts where he was productive, but he always regressed.

I am also frustrated cause the guy basically ruined Christmas for them until the end of time,

 

[Deleted member 457759]

Sorry for your loss bro. I have lost a dad to suicide and almost lost my younger brother to h, but he was addicted to every sort of drug at one point or another, although he is doing better on subs now. I have lost 4 close friends due to substance abuse so I know what you are feeling and I still miss them. One friend was so fucked up he fell off a cliff into the ocean, one suicided by jumping off a bridge, another drank himself to death after joining the navy. You use them as fuel to not make those mistakes in your life. Live on for them.

I will man, thanks. Yea I think I'm going to make a point of taking care of myself just a little bit more in his name, that's all I can do. I'm curious to find out if this was fentynal. He struggled with heroin for a long time and he probably didn't have good education of how things have changed. You can't just go out and get pills off the street any more, it's just too dangerous.

 

[Deleted member 457759]

What did he OD on...

I'm not sure but I'm assuming heroin or Fentynal. He struggled with heroin addiction for years but was clean for about 10 years or so. But I have a feeling he was just having a taste and got some fentynal, it's happening to a lot of people.

 

[Deleted member 457759]

Sucks Bro. We recently buried my step brother. He OD'd on Christmas fucking day.

We knew each other as kids. When my Dad was still married to my Mom. We played on the same little league teams growing up from time to time. I was never close to the guy and never lived with him. My Dad married his Mom after I headed out for college. But I know his son reasonably well and watched him grow up from a distance.

It bums me out mainly because of my Dad and Step-Mom. They invested so much time, money and energy trying to turn that asshat around. They basically raised his kid. He went through spurts where he was productive, but he always regressed.

I am also frustrated cause the guy basically ruined Christmas for them until the end of time,

I'm struggling with that too. It's like, you want to criticize them but you loved them and understand that they had real problems. It's hard to rationalize the two emotions at the same time.

Thanks for sharing by the way. That goes for everyone here.

I'm a pretty tough guy but for some reason this is hurting me pretty bad. He just wanted to be my friend.

 

[Cheese]

Sorry for your Loss TS.

I have a some family members died for OD and maybe even My Father but not 100% on him. My cousin past away a few yr ago. He got hooked on pain meds after back surgery and mix his med one night and never woke. Had a uncle found with a needle in my grandamas house. and lost friends to herion in the 90s.

 

[syct23]

I'm not sure but I'm assuming heroin or Fentynal. He struggled with heroin addiction for years but was clean for about 10 years or so. But I have a feeling he was just having a taste and got some fentynal, it's happening to a lot of people.

Damn,
That sucks bro..

Either that, or maybe just a pinch of heroin again. Body probably went into shock not being used to if anymore after 10years.

 

[Deleted member 457759]

Damn,
That sucks bro..

Either that, or maybe just a pinch of heroin again. Body probably went into shock not being used to if anymore after 10years.

That's also a high probability. He was a lot older and weaker and could have very easily taken a dose he was use to taking in the old days and his respiratory system shut down.

 

[cooks1]

I'm struggling with that too. It's like, you want to criticize them but you loved them and understand that they had real problems. It's hard to rationalize the two emotions at the same time.

Thanks for sharing by the way. That goes for everyone here.

I'm a pretty tough guy but for some reason this is hurting me pretty bad. He just wanted to be my friend.

Good luck to you to as well. It is kind of a mixed bag. I find myself completely ambivalent about him actually being dead. To me it was simply the natural result of the choices he was making. I would probably have been angrier with him if had won the lottery than him dying, as that would have been a perpendicular result to his actions.

What grief I have stems from seeing those I do love hurting, and getting a perpendicular result to the one they deserved. My Dad and Step Mom worked their ass off trying to help that guy. They bought him a fucking house when he got married young and had a kid. Then they bought the same fucking house again when he got divorced to get his ex-wife her piece of the equity and pay off his debts, so he would not be homeless. They had basically been subsidizing the cat for decades. Getting him more education or training in this or that, bailing him out of jail. Paying his legal fees. Paying for his kids education. They deserved a better ending than what they got.

Throw the XMAS day shit on top and it is a real mess. And to make matters worse, now that he is dead, my younger brother has felt emboldened to release some festering resentment about some injustices he experienced.

I had already been in college a few years and was pretty much self sufficient at this point. But my younger brother and step brother went to the same community college when they graduated at the same time. At this point my Dad and Step-Mom had been married a while. For some bizarre reason, the step brother was helped to a much greater degree than my little brother. The Dad and Step Mom funded accommodation for both of them, but the step brothers was measurably more lavish. And his subsidies were not conditional on him having a part time job while in school, while my brothers were. Rich people problems I know. But the disparity, and the lack of explanation for it, really chafed the little bro.

So now, the little bro is throwing out some passive aggressive barbs about how perhaps things might have turned out differently if the step bro had been given similar treatment to him while younger rather than being coddled. Which is largely true I suspect, but is not really helping matters now.

 

[IloveTHIS]

Almost happened to me. I was 100% gone and someone, by nothing more than dumb luck, found me. 99/100 times no one would have found me and called 911. One or two minutes later even and I would not be here. I'm kind of the black sheep in my family because it was unfathomable something like this happening in my family.

Sorry for your loss TS.

 

[SMillard]

Yes, I did, an uncle on my mother's side. The guy was a waste. My parents moved him down from the small town in upstate NY to live with us when I was very young, within a month he'd discovered the entire drug dependency culture in the little town of Holiday Florida. Ended up sending him back. His big ambition in life was to sue someone and get that "sweet settlement" money. He ended up "slipping" at a public pool a few years back and finally "cashed in" blew the money within six months. Ended up finding him dead from an OD on the floor of his house a couple years later.

Don't have one bit of sympathy or remorse, the only constructive thing I can say was he had a daughter that ended up becoming a school principal, no thanks to him.

Wife had an uncle that was pretty much the same way. He was told that if he didn't stop the drugs and the drinking he was going to die. He kept going and died, crying whoa is me to the very end about how unfair life was.

Sorry for your loss TS, unfortunately I don't have much sympathy for people like that. They are usually oblivious to the harm and pain they cause their family. If this is anyone hear, I seriously hope you clean up your act if not for yourself, do it for your loved ones.

 

[Deleted member 457759]

Good luck to you to as well. It is kind of a mixed bag. I find myself completely ambivalent about him actually being dead. To me it was simply the natural result of the choices he was making. I would probably have been angrier with him if had won the lottery than him dying, as that would have been a perpendicular result to his actions.

O trust me I understand that. My uncle won the lottery one time, like 10 grand, and wanted to ride the good luck at the casino and blew it all. Although his choices were bad, his dad beat him pretty good when he was a kid so I get how difficult it was for him to function correctly.

What grief I have stems from seeing those I do love hurting, and getting a perpendicular result to the one they deserved. My Dad and Step Mom worked their ass off trying to help that guy. They bought him a fucking house when he got married young and had a kid. Then they bought the same fucking house again when he got divorced to get his ex-wife her piece of the equity and pay off his debts, so he would not be homeless. They had basically been subsidizing the cat for decades. Getting him more education or training in this or that, bailing him out of jail. Paying his legal fees. Paying for his kids education. They deserved a better ending than what they got.

That sounds very familiar too. He got my grandma to buy him a 20,000 car in the early 80's and crashed it and fucked off on the loan. My grandma had to pay it all off and she was an immigrant with no education. My mom told me she was pinching pennies so bad she was rolling her own tampons out of toilet paper. My dad gave him two trucks, both second hand but still, I could have used those trucks. Of course both vehicles ended up written off. He borrowed 5 bucks from me when I was like 10 years old and he didn't pay me back. Then I told on him not to screw him over, but because I was confused. My mom whooped his ass and then he paid me and guilt tripped me for ratting lol.


And yes, to be honest there is an element of relief here. He and my mother were the only ones left to inherit what my grandma has and my mom has had it tough and doesn't have the means to make a lot of money on her own due to learning disabilities. So she's going to inherit it all now. We all know it just would have went up his arm anyway.

 

[Deleted member 457759]

Sorry for your loss TS, unfortunately I don't have much sympathy for people like that. They are usually oblivious to the harm and pain they cause their family..

I understand that and I'm on the same page. His brother my other uncle, yea I didn't shed a tear. He wasn't conscious of the family members he hurt. This one, he was a good guy and he knew what he had done, he knew right and wrong. He had a good heart.

 

[SMillard]

I understand that and I'm on the same page. His brother my other uncle, yea I didn't shed a tear. He wasn't conscious of the family members he hurt. This one, he was a good guy and he knew what he had done, he knew right and wrong. He had a good heart.

Sorry about people like that, sometimes people make a mistake and aren't habitual abusers. Those people are genuinely feel for, but unfortunately there is no scale of action vs reaction, bad things sometimes happen to good people.

Again, sorry for your loss

 

[Gutter Chris]

My dad died of a coke overdose when I was 19 back in 2001.

He was in and out of jail and we never had a good relationship but i found it crushing the day he died that was all we were ever gonna have .