Television Over the top advertisements

[Fake Doctor]

TLDR: Post images/videos of pretty ridiculous advertising here. If you feel like it, post longwinded stories about the advertisement like you were running a recipe blog page.

So, I managed to get a 50 pound case of Envy apples for $15 a bit before Christmas. I knew I liked the apples and it was a good price, and apples keep, so it seemed like a good idea. When I got the case it was in a custom, well marked up box and Envy was trademarked (as in Envy™) and a link to a website was prominently on the box.

This was curious, as it's just a bloody apple, so I decided to go to the website. It did not disappoint, though not for the reason they intended, as there was an absolutely ridiculous advertisement video on it.

(the website link - I can't directly link this video)

Our Envy™ Story | Envy Apple US

The video starts off with some peppy background music, a poorly focused pan across a sunny park or university campus or something, then a picture of a bushel of apples with an attractive (Boise 7.5) woman selecting the apples as it says "There are those who simply accept what life offers them... (pause) And then there are those who seek more" - panning to her smiling as she selects (presumably) the Envy™ apple. It then pans from a combination of beautiful orchard landscapes, and this woman hanging around with her preppy friends smiling and laying in the sunshine, declaring the virtues of the Envy™ apple, that it's an "invitation of a moment to savour" or some such. The 90 second commercial is proudly finished with "Whatever you are doing right now, Envy™ apple make the experience so much more memorable and remarkable for you and the ones you love." At this point I'm thinking "Damn, if my marriage is ever in trouble, I'll just get a bag of these apples and we should be all good." This ad makes it sound like an Envy™ apple is a gold plated Viagra pill where a Bitcoin, a high price hooker, and a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle pops out when you eat it - and all for an (admittedly pretty good) apple.

So, that ad - worth a watch if you want a laugh because it is so patently over the top in how it presents this apple. It got me thinking - what other types of ridiculous advertisements have you seen?

What springs to mind is adult male diapers. Out of curiosity, you ever walk down an aisle where they have adult male diapers and look at the packaging (let speculation about me commence)? They really put a positive spin on a bunch of dudes who start their days thinking "Well, I hope I don't shit my pants at work today, but it's very real possibility":

So confident and collected, knowing he has maximum absorbency when he loses control of his bowels.

This Stevan Seagal looking dude looks like he just spotted an Envy™ apple floating on the horizon.

One might also note that this packaging suggests that dudes who wear male diapers have near-Sherdogger sized packages (let further speculation about me commence). Man, I almost wanted to slap on a diaper after walking down that aisle.

So, there it is. Share your stories of ridiculous advertisements Mayberrians.

Frame of reference - sometimes life imitates art (or whatever South Park is):

 

[Bald1]

Watching Forged in Fire, or some other "man show" and Amy Schumer's pig mug comes on the TV..

- Light grunting coming from a bathroom stall..
- Amy Schumer's smiling, cherubic, gleaming face: "Looks like someone is having her period!"
- Blah blah blah.. "different size tampons?"
- Amy Schumer: "here, let me offer you a mammoth sized tampon, little girl!"

- Bald1: well, that's enough TV for today.

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

Sell razors to men by telling men sucks

 

[Thai Domi]

 

[I Am Legion]

If I were black, there is no way I would eat at McDonald’s or Popeyes. So stereotypically racist in their advertising since the start.

 

[Bald1]

Lol. I got as far as "real coffee". No "real coffee" exists in West Africa. It is known. Seriously? Legit cracked me up.

 

[Fake Doctor]

Lol. I got as far as "real coffee". No "real coffee" exists in West Africa. It is known. Seriously? Legit cracked me up.

More or less my thoughts... Literally comes from a great coffee growing location to some frigid place in the US to praise Folgers coffee. The parents waking up when the Folgers is brewing, realizing their son is home, is a nice touch.

If I were black, there is no way I would eat at McDonald’s or Popeyes. So stereotypically racist in their advertising since the start.
View attachment 899223 View attachment 899224

The "get down" and apostrophized slang words really makes it feel personal.

 

[the ambush]

If I were black, there is no way I would eat at McDonald’s or Popeyes. So stereotypically racist in their advertising since the start.
View attachment 899223 View attachment 899224

Nah times were easier back then and people were less sensitive. Now everyone wants to switch genders and play paddycake.

 

[Badger67]

If I were black, there is no way I would eat at McDonald’s or Popeyes. So stereotypically racist in their advertising since the start.
View attachment 899223 View attachment 899224

A bit upscale to me, kid has a father.

 

[I Am Legion]

Nah times were easier back then and people were less sensitive. Now everyone wants to switch genders and play paddycake.

See that’s the thing.....now a days people are bitches about nothing. But back then, you had white advertising companies and white owned McDonald’s making commercials where black people were portrayed as dancing, chicken loving, no tipping, Shaft acting folks. That was truly disrespectful.

 

[Bald1]

More or less my thoughts... Literally comes from a great coffee growing location to some frigid place in the US to praise Folgers coffee. The parents waking up when the Folgers is brewing, realizing their son is home, is a nice touch.

When things won't sell on merit alone, market them on emotions. Same as politics.

- guy on his 3rd cup of shitty Folgers

 

[Fake Doctor]

When things won't sell on merit alone, market them on emotions. Same as politics.

- guy on his 3rd cup of shitty Folgers

Wife swears by this stuff and it's a Calgary company.

Calgary Heritage Roasting Company Coffee - Indonesian - Medium Whole Bean Coffee - Hint Of Dark Chocolate, Full Bodied With A Clean Finish - Perfect For French Press, Espresso, Mocha Pot - 340g : Amazon.ca: Everything Else

You can order directly from the company itself if you don't want to give the corporate overlords a cut. Still isn't the best part of coming back from West Africa though.

 

[pv3Hpv3p]

It always made me laugh when they'd sell Michelob Ultra (or any low calorie/carb beer) as if it's a Gatorade commercial... yes yes, when we've all worked up a solid sweat playing a game of pick up basketball grab an uber refreshing light beer!

 

[Bald1]

Wife swears by this stuff and it's a Calgary company.

Calgary Heritage Roasting Company Coffee - Indonesian - Medium Whole Bean Coffee - Hint Of Dark Chocolate, Full Bodied With A Clean Finish - Perfect For French Press, Espresso, Mocha Pot - 340g : Amazon.ca: Everything Else

You can order directly from the company itself if you don't want to give the corporate overlords a cut. Still isn't the best part of coming back from West Africa though.

Talk about over the top advertising:
"Calgary Heritage Roasting Company is built by the wilderness that drives it. We meticulously marry fresh and bold coffee with the urge to explore"

My fresh and bold coffee makes me want to explore my bathroom, most mornings, instead of going for a hike. Especially in -30 weather. I'll drop by and check them out once we thaw out a bit. Thanks for the tip.

 

[Fake Doctor]

Talk about over the top advertising:
"Calgary Heritage Roasting Company is built by the wilderness that drives it. We meticulously marry fresh and bold coffee with the urge to explore"

My fresh and bold coffee makes me want to explore my bathroom, most mornings, instead of going for a hike. Especially in -30 weather. I'll drop by and check them out once we thaw out a bit. Thanks for the tip.

Hah, no kidding. Love the pictures.

What is this, "hiking casual" as she looks off in the distance, to the better times after she surely has coming with her cup of joe? Remember - "Stay Wild" like it says on her coffee cup, prominently pointed outward so we can read it. (coffee is good though)

(Edit: Wife just pointed out that her watch is visibly set to 9 AM, so the attentive viewer can tell she's a go-getter - just like you)

I hope some marketing majors end up in this thread.

Edit: The heart of the wild, for reference:

 

[Bald1]

Hah, no kidding. Love the pictures.

What is this, "hiking casual" as she looks off in the distance, to the better times after she surely has coming with her cup of joe? Remember - "Stay Wild" like it says on her coffee cup, prominently pointed outward so we can read it. (coffee is good though)

(Edit: Wife just pointed out that her watch is visibly set to 9 AM, so the attentive viewer can tell she's a go-getter - just like you)

I hope some marketing majors end up in this thread.

Edit: The heart of the wild, for reference:

Yeah, I'm familiar with the neighborhood having lived in Ramsay (neighborhood in Calgary, for the non-locals) way back. The neighborhood used to be wild back in the day, but has been domesticated by hipsters, or so it seemed last time I drove through.

At least in this case the company is selling a quality product along with the image of a completely unrelated lifestyle. Or, at the very least the marketing campaign isn't insulting their target demographics as is the case with the Gillette ad. You'd think relevance and reason to purchase would be the cornerstones of marketing campaigns instead of feelings, but I suppose speaking to the purchaser is almost as important as to the end user.

 

[Fake Doctor]

Yeah, I'm familiar with the neighborhood having lived in Ramsay (neighborhood in Calgary, for the non-locals) way back. The neighborhood used to be wild back in the day, but has been domesticated by hipsters, or so it seemed last time I drove through.

At least in this case the company is selling a quality product along with the image of a completely unrelated lifestyle. Or, at the very least the marketing campaign isn't insulting their target demographics as is the case with the Gillette ad. You'd think relevance and reason to purchase would be the cornerstones of marketing campaigns instead of feelings, but I suppose speaking to the purchaser is almost as important as to the end user.

Eh, there is a reason some people spend over $10k on a watch - and it's usually based on external perception of the watch wearer rather than some deep seated need for a quality watch. It's likely the same reason people get so damned excited about a $300 set of sneakers, but that's the same type of prestige purchasing ratcheted down to a fiscally lower demographic. Makes sense that coffee makers and apple growers would try and get in on that image/prestige selling by hook or by crook, either pulling your heartstrings (Folgers) or by appealing to a certain image of how you want to live your life (Envy Apples and Calgary Coffee Company Whose name I can't recall). McDonald's is more going for a "You're trash - just accept it" type marketing strategy, and Gilette seems to want to guilt people into buying their products.

I'd like to think the last time I made some sort of optional purchase I did so based on the merits of the item, but I buy nothing but Wüsthof kitchen knives without comparing them to other products now. I think I've been brainwashed with the whole "German quality" thing to the extent that I don't even know if it's true or not any more.