Has anyone ever used this old school contraption, and if so how did you rate it for authentic sound? You start with a thin piece of metal, it needs to be in the shape of a rectangle missing one of the long sides. I've used a piece of a coat hanger before because of its pliability but realistically you'd want something a little more sturdy. Either way, the U shape is key. I used brackets as both of the edges because you are going to need a little hook on the end to attach rubber bands. Then grab several rubber bands and a metal washer. Imagine that you are stringing a bow, but instead of connecting the rubber band at both ends, you connect each end to the washer. So when all is said and done, the washer is suspended in the middle, held by rubber bands on each side (it helps to double or even triple-up on the rubber bands on each side, using 6 rubber bands total). If you did it right, you should be able to twist the washer around to build up tension so that when you let go the washer spins around like crazy. So what you want to do is, in the middle of a crowded classroom or office or quiet restaurant, or wherever, start twisting the washer around to build tension. Once she's nice and tight, you wanna stick the whole device under one cheek. Ideally you'd have the metal part somewhere near your crack and then the washer with all the tension just under the outer edge of your cheek. The whole thing should be hands-free at this point. HERE COMES THE BEST PART: when the time is right, you raise up your cheek as if you are lettin one out, and a soon as pressure comes off, the washer spins around like crazy and the sound of it smacking against the top of your chair makes a perfect fart (it will work better or worse depending on what kind of chair you're in). To me, the electronic fart machines sound too fake. And a whoopee cushion is used best when you make someone else sit on it without realizing. But when it comes to convincing a bunch of people that you just cut one (maybe you wanna clear the couch before kickoff so you have prime access to the bean dip!) there really is nothing better. The sound is perfect and authentic, and the fact that you actually have to raise a cheek to make it work only multiplies the mystique of the whole thing.