OCD

[IloveTHIS]

Just wondering if anyone else on here is mentally ill like me? I have had GAD an OCD my whole life. It ranges from insignificant some days, to crippling the next. I will obsess over shit that I am 99.9% certain I have no need to worry about. I constantly ask myself "what if....?" and my mind goes to the WORST possible scenario.

I cant take medication because I am a former junkie and will spiral out of control/ OD and die.

 

[Ares Black]

You may very well actually have OCD, but in my experience it is one of the most overused self diagnosis. So many people claim to be OCD. So few people actually are.

 

[ralphc1]

Never had any problems like that. I hold grudges forever but that's about it.

 

[CrimsonFan]

Im like the oposite of ocd.

People with that shit get on my nerves

 

[IloveTHIS]

You may very well actually have OCD, but in my experience it is one of the most overused self diagnosis. So many people claim to be OCD. So few people actually are.

I spend 5 minutes tugging on the house door just to make absolutely sure its locked, right after locking it.

Sometimes I have to unplug every single thing from all the outlets before leaving my house because I feel it somehow makes an electrical fire less likely, etc...

 

[hillelslovak87]

I have an anxiety disorder, but not ocd. Ocd would make it so much worse. A whatever attitude helps.

 

[Ares Black]

I spend 5 minutes tugging on the house door just to make absolutely sure its locked, right after locking it.

Sometimes I have to unplug every single thing from all the outlets before leaving my house because I feel it somehow makes an electrical fire less likely, etc...

No I believe you, and it sounds challenging, to say the least. Thats why it annoys me when people say they have it when really they are, at worst, a little neurotic.

 

[IloveTHIS]

I have an anxiety disorder, but not ocd. Ocd would make it so much worse. A whatever attitude helps.

its the worst. If I could change anything, absolutely anything about my life, it would be eradicating this shit from my brain. The horrendous part is I KNOW, absolutely KNOW the shit I worry about is silly and its never what I make it out to be. But it still nearly cripples me.

 

[coopdro]

Oh yeah OP. You're far from alone. I don't have the tendencies of physical compulsions, but obsessive, cyclical thought patterns that I really don't have any control over can get the best of me for long periods of time, causing more than a little distress to my well being. Anxiety/depression disorders are rampant in this one as well. Externally most people have no idea, but the people close to me know something is amiss. Very few people will I actually open up about this stuff with. And yeah, I feel ya on the no meds thing and also similar history with substances.

 

[IloveTHIS]

Oh yeah OP. You're far from alone. I don't have the tendencies of physical compulsions, but obsessive, cyclical thought patterns that I really don't have any control over can get the best of me for long periods of time, causing more than a little distress to my well being. Anxiety/depression disorders are rampant in this one as well. Externally most people have no idea, but the people close to me know something is amiss. Very few people will I actually open up about this stuff with. And yeah, I feel ya on the no meds thing and also similar history with substances.

its so embarrassing. like I've people come pick me up at my house and they just stand there watching as I fuck with the door for several minutes. Trying to make small talk as if its normal, while I lock, unlock, and relock the door 10 times and pull on it.


Im always an ultra safe driver. Havent had an accident since I was 18. But today on my way home from work I accidentally cut off a semi and had to partially swerve in the oncoming lane of traffic. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. I know this for a fact. Yet I cant help but wonder "what if the semi had to slam on his brakes, and the car behind him rear ended him. What if the semi driver recorded it and reports my license to the police, and they come after me. Not only did I cause an accident, but I kept on going too! Even though there was no contact with my car I still caused it"

is sounds so fucking stupid even as I type this. I swerved in the other lane for all of 1 second. Nothing happened. No one even honked. The semi continue behind me for several miles, obviously he would have pulled over if there was an accident of any kind. It was an honest mistake. But I'm going to be thinking about it for probably the next 3 days. I actually almost HOPE the police knock on my door, just so it has a resolution in my mind.

please dont laugh at me



I literally cant touch benzos, the only thing that helps a little bit. Unless I have someone to trust holding them and only give me a certain amount, which I dont any more.

 

[hillelslovak87]

its the worst. If I could change anything, absolutely anything about my life, it would be eradicating this shit from my brain. The horrendous part is I KNOW, absolutely KNOW the shit I worry about is silly and its never what I make it out to be. But it still nearly cripples me.

I used to be a little ocd, especially with house door locks. The only advice I could give is to purposefully leave electronics on, and doors unlocked. Giving your mind a continuing frame of reference for "see, nothing happened" helps.

 

[coopdro]

its so embarrassing. like I've people come pick me up at my house and they just stand there watching as I fuck with the door for several minutes. Trying to make small talk as if its normal, while I lock, unlock, and relock the door 10 times and pull on it.

I'm really sorry you've to deal with that man. The mental strain of the brain not working right I know is precisely what led me to some extensive experimentation with chemicals in the past. It wasn't until the opies/benzos that took hold for quite a few years did I have to start looking internally more and accepting the hand in which I've been dealt. Such as alternate coping methods.

I would venture to guess that anyone that knew you and your plight would be more than accommodating whilst you perform your mental check / rituals. I don't mean that to come off as in the least bit condescending. I've had more than a couple legit OCD friends and my sister with whom I'm kicking it with right now is clinically diagnosed. Genetics man, right? We get no say in what the lottery gives us. I received a top 2% intellect according to institutional testing throughout my youth, but I've also had a hard life coupled with some very straining mental/physical health items to go along with it. Almost feels cruel to have a ton of potential but not the well being to see it through fruition.

 

[IloveTHIS]

I'm really sorry you've to deal with that man. The mental strain of the brain not working right I know is precisely what led me to some extensive experimentation with chemicals in the past. It wasn't until the opies/benzos that took hold for quite a few years did I have to start looking internally more and accepting the hand in which I've been dealt. Such as alternate coping methods.

I would venture to guess that anyone that knew you and your plight would be more than accommodating whilst you perform your mental check / rituals. I don't mean that to come off as in the least bit condescending. I've had more than a couple legit OCD friends and my sister with whom I'm kicking it with right now is clinically diagnosed. Genetics man, right? We get no say in what the lottery gives us. I received a top 2% intellect according to institutional testing throughout my youth, but I've also had a hard life coupled with some very straining mental/physical health items to go along with it. Almost feels cruel to have a ton of potential but not the well being to see it through fruition.

wow, we are very similar. I was an opiate addict for ~5 years, then one (un?)lucky night I blacked out on benzos, must have taken 20x a normal dose, which combined with the heavy amount of opiates in my system caused me to OD. I stopped breathing, my heart stopped beating, and my liver and kidneys went into complete failure. Amazingly, someone just happened to swing by and find me. I should have died. But since then I havent touched the shit. I just cant even consider it.

 

[CrimsonFan]

Most people i know with ocd tend to have good qualities.

Like the need to keep everything spotless in their home. And the nicest yard in the neighborhood


Do you also have good qualities from it?

 

[coopdro]

wow, we are very similar. I was an opiate addict for ~5 years, then one (un?)lucky night I blacked out on benzos, must have taken 20x a normal dose, which combined with the heavy amount of opiates in my system caused me to OD. I stopped breathing, my heart stopped beating, and my liver and kidneys went into complete failure. Amazingly, someone just happened to swing by and find me. I should have died. But since then I havent touched the shit. I just cant even consider it.

No kidding man. I'm sure we could exchange some pretty wicked war stories of the past. Too many times I was surprised I woke up. If you were on for around 5 years, I'm sure you've got some pretty horrendous w/d stories as well. I literally can't count how many times I've been through em. Benzos though I decided I'd only go through that torture once (at least proper, as in it took 9 months before I started to feel somewhat ok again).

It's one thing to become an addict with mental health issues, but it's another all together to work on recovery and still have those monkeys on your back. Hats off to you for staying in the game sir! More often than not, that's usually what keeps me going. Just the thought of not giving up and throwing in the proverbial towel. I feel like I may be starting to ramble....

 

[Yunes]

Just wondering if anyone else on here is mentally ill like me? I have had GAD an OCD my whole life. It ranges from insignificant some days, to crippling the next. I will obsess over shit that I am 99.9% certain I have no need to worry about. I constantly ask myself "what if....?" and my mind goes to the WORST possible scenario.

I cant take medication because I am a former junkie and will spiral out of control/ OD and die.

Yes, bi-polar and borderline