NXT roster call up meeting transcript

Discussion in 'Pro Wrestling Discussion' started by warriorscommando, Jul 29, 2016.

  1. warriorscommando

    warriorscommando I will always protect you

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    Vince: "Okay, now we need to talk about those guys we're bringing from NXT to RAW and their music specifically."

    HHH: "Huh, okay."

    Vince: "So we've got this Japanese guy, Nakaka..."

    HHH: "Shinsuke Nakamura, pronounced SHINSKE Nakamura."

    Vince: "Goddamit, nobody is going to remember that. And who the hell pronounces their name differently to how its spelt. Change it to Nakaka. "

    HHH: "His contract says he needs to be Shinsuke Nakamura."

    Vince: "Goddamit, who the hell signed that?"

    HHH: "Me."

    Vince: "Goddamit, does the contract say anything about wardrobe and music?"

    HHH: "No but his music and wardrobe are going over really well in NXT..."

    Vince: "This is RAW and you goddamn know it! I hope you taught this kid how to wrestle in NXT. Okay, that music sounds like Pearl Harbor and you know our audience still remembers that! He needs something not ethnic, hip, modern, cool, catchy. You, you're young, what do you listen to?"

    Intern: "Uh, Sunflower Bean, Rat Boy, The Last Shadow Puppets, Public Access TV, Lets Eat Grandma..."

    Vince: "What the hell names are those goddamit! Are you joking with me? Paul, is she joking with me?"

    HHH: "I don't think so."

    Vince: "Hmm. We need something that our wider audience knows. Kevin, what's that cool new band, you know guitars, middle finger, screams a lot?"

    Kevin Dunn: "Limp Bizkit?"

    Vince: "Goddamit, another stupid name. What's up with you know, AC DC?"

    Kevin Dunn: "I think their drummer is in prison for attempted murder and drug dealing."

    Vince: "Damn! That was one hell of a band. Paul, who plays your theme, Motherthingy..."

    HHH: "Motorhead."

    Vince: "What abou them?"

    HHH: "Lemmy's died this year."

    Vince: "Lemmy?"

    HHH: "The singer and frontman."

    Vince: "Goddammit, it gets worse and worse! You, you listen to Limpy Bizkit?"

    Intern: "No but my dad used to."

    Vince: "Limpy Bizkit it is." [Slips HHH a card saying "Fire her."]

    Vince: "Okay we'll talk Nakaka wardrobe tomorrow. Who do we have next, the big round Samoan."

    HHH: "Samoa Joe."

    Vince: "Nobody giving us crap about the name being racist?"

    HHH: "No and he's also got in his contract."

    Vince: "We need to have a goddamn talk about those contracts you're signing. Ah well, at least it tells us what we're dealing with. Okay, his music sounds like elephants humping and let me tell I've seen that on five occasions up and close and its never pretty. We need something ethnic..."

    HHH: "I thought we were avoiding ethnic, Vince."

    Vince: "Goddammit Paul! When did Samoa bomb Pearl Harbor? Samoas are American but ethnic! Some of the best wrestlers in the goddam world! Say is this Joe related to Anoa'i family?"

    HHH: "I don't think so. But he was born in California."

    Vince: "How in the hell is that possible? Every Samoan that wrestles and comes from that family! You sure he's not Mexican?"

    HHH: "Pretty sure he isn't, Vince."

    Vince: "We still got think about that name. And check his creds again. I don't want Rocky phoning and complaining right before Wrestlemania because some Mexican is stealing the Samoan name. Anyway, if he checks out, we definitely need something ethnic before somebody does a search on twitter and finds out he's from California. You know, tribal drums, a hakakaka chant..."

    Intern: "Haka."

    Vince: "GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW! ... Alright, just need to calm down, calm down. Okay, ethnic chant. Maybe some vignettes in Samoa, Kevin, how much would take cost us for 3 vignettes?"

    Dunn: "About 3-4 million."

    Vince: "Forget it, Paul, does his contract say anything about wearing a singlet?"

    HHH: "No..."

    Vince: "We'll discuss that tomorrow, I think that's it..."

    HHH: "We've also got Asuka coming up."

    Vince: "Is the the big real Samoan girl, Rocky Anoi'a family?"

    HHH: "No that's Nia Jax."

    Vince: "Why in the hell isn't she Samoan Jax? Anyway, so who hell is this ASUKA."

    HHH: "You pronounce it Oska."

    Vince: "Goddammit, this is not funny anymore. Anyway, who is she?"

    HHH: "Petite girl, kicks ass, very violent, strong..."

    Vince: "Don't you give me that shit about 'strong' style again, that's not what we want. Is she the bouncy one with tassels?"

    HHH: "No, that's Bailey, she's already up on the roster. And she's not Japanese."

    Vince: "You goddamn know I don't watch Divas, I mean women, that's when I take a dump during production! Nobody's watchin anyway. Never mind, give her whatever hell music and wardrobe she already has. Is that Nia Pax on the roster?"

    HHH: "Yeah."

    Vince: "She really related to Rocky?"

    HHH: "Yes."

    Vince: "Contract say anything about her name?"

    HHH: "No."

    Vince: "Good, sounds like on of those punk bands that intern listens to. She on Raw?"

    HHH: "Yes, Vince."

    Vince: "At least some good fucking news to end this debacle. You know she can wrestle and has charisma. The name we'll work on. Maybe get her some sexy clothes. She'll put some butts in seats. Good bye everybody and Paul, we're still going to talk at dinner about those contracts."

    Shane: "Eh, dad, I want..."

    Vince: "Goddamit it Shane! We're at work, it's Vince or Mr McMahon!"

    Shane: "Well, Vince, I wanted to say that I really could use Shinsuke Nakamura or Samoa Joe or Asuka on Smackdown... Even just one of them."

    Vince: "Steph says she needs them, isn't that true Steph?"

    Steph: "Yes, Dad."

    Vince: "See Shane? She needs them. Anyway, we're finished. I'm 5 minutes late for gym, goddamit!"
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
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  2. D.R.H.

    D.R.H. If you haven't heard...I'm the best! Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    Started slow, but really picked up around the elephants humping. 7/10, might possibly skim through again for the good parts.
     
  3. King Bastar

    King Bastar Green Belt

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    Stopped at the Limp Bizkit diss. Fuck you.
     
    Zer likes this.
  4. Rex Luger

    Rex Luger I can break these cuffs! Platinum Member

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    I'm too busy getting a rimjob from a strippedr while my Pom licks my toes to read all that.
     

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