Never let a woman fart in front of you, especially your lady

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by CharondaEdwards, Jun 9, 2017.

  1. CharondaEdwards

    CharondaEdwards Banned Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2014
    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    No decent lad would accept their missus fart in front of them.

    It is the most vulgar thing a female can do.

    If a woman is going to fart in front of you, she may as well go all the way and grow her leg hair and just be another dude in the room.

    Plus girl farts are THE WORST.
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2017




  2.  
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2017
  3. Striderx5

    Striderx5 麻ベルト

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    5,647
    Location:
    私の道場で
  4. HulkOnViagra

    HulkOnViagra Soldier Of Sinister

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2016
    Messages:
    19,714
    Likes Received:
    49,405
    I'll let Elizabeth Banks fart in my mouth
     
    ssBaldy, Mike, iWinYouLose and 4 others like this.
  5. choke you

    choke you strangulation belt

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2010
    Messages:
    6,915
    Likes Received:
    9,804
    Only problem I would have is if she could push more psi than me.
     
  6. Mr Mojo Lane

    Mr Mojo Lane Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2012
    Messages:
    3,665
    Likes Received:
    3,368
    Do queefs count?
     
    ssBaldy and Big Burly like this.
  7. jgarner

    jgarner Silver Belt

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    10,240
    Likes Received:
    9,738
  8. Amerikuracana

    Amerikuracana Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2007
    Messages:
    54,176
    Likes Received:
    30,159
    Location:
    Macomb mi
    Its going to happen. Sex farts are annoying. Women who pish and squirt seem to have oops farts.
     
    Pied Piper likes this.
  9. CatchOmega

    CatchOmega Hideous Disfigurement

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    2,638
    Likes Received:
    2,573
    If you can picture your girl pooping, walk away. It's already over.
     
  10. Dogstarman

    Dogstarman Old man jiu jitsu

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    11,586
    Likes Received:
    4,544
    Location:
    On the mats
  11. Pwent

    Pwent Guest

    i always farted in front of whatever girl i was with, i remember when i was like 19 my girlfriend finally farted in front of me, and i got mad at her, and she cried because she had apparently been building herself up to it for weeks since i always fart in front of her. she finally felt safe and trusting enough with me to finally do it and i yelled at her

    dont regret it though, only im allowed to fart
     
  12. Kraysla

    Kraysla Black Belt

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    6,064
    Likes Received:
    7,878
    Location:
    Mill City
    I think it's pretty funny.
     
  13. Anung Un Rama

    Anung Un Rama Idol of Millions Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2009
    Messages:
    70,625
    Likes Received:
    70,231
    Location:
    Osgiliath
    I was in a record shop with a gf once and I wandered off to look at what I dig and vice versa.
    I'm done so I look for her and I see her looking at this rack of calendars or some shit. As I approach I slam face first into what can only be described as a WWI mustard gas field that oddly begins within 3 feet of her. She is seemingly unaffected by the deadly fumes so I ask her, "Is that you?". She giggles. So I reply, "you're just going to sit in it?" and laugh myself. The paramedics arrived in time to administer the epi-pen.

    Story 2. Same gaseous gf. We're performing the act of love when she dismounts with my soldier standing at attention behind her. She lets out a silent, but not deadly *poof* out the back door, right where my man Godfrey is standing. I lean into her passionately and whisper into her ear "I felt that". She crumbled in embarrassment. It was adorable. Oh, to be young.
     
  14. Higus

    Higus Gold Belt

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    17,436
    Likes Received:
    19,146
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
  15. Cake farts are where it's at.
     
  16. Jballer

    Jballer Red Belt

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2009
    Messages:
    7,906
    Likes Received:
    4,697
    Location:
    NJ Transit train car #5351
    I don't know how it's possible but I've been with my wife for 9 years and she's never once farted in front of me.
     
  17. Damien Karras

    Damien Karras Mirabile dichtu, don't you agree?

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    11,943
    Likes Received:
    7,364
    Location:
    Montreal
    Oh my God grow up
     
  18. Turtlejuice

    Turtlejuice Free Wang Double Yellow Card

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2013
    Messages:
    10,813
    Likes Received:
    15,709
    If a girl wont fart in front of you, it's because she's sleeping with someone else.
     
    ElBerryKM13, Mike, Sycho Sid and 10 others like this.
  19. The ScorpioN

    The ScorpioN "GET OVER HERE!"

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    20,797
    Likes Received:
    31,925
    Location:
    Netherrealm
    {<jordan}
     
  20. MoparOrNoCar

    MoparOrNoCar Black Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    7,033
    Likes Received:
    13,601
    One time my girlfriend was laying on the floor and when I walked by, I stepped on her stomach and it pushed a fart out.
     
    ssBaldy likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.