Never Complain and Never Explain

[minute bull]

I see you're taking this lesson to heart...

 

[deviake]

I had a bit of an epiphany today. Cut a long story short, I had a nightmarish journey to work and ended up being late to a meeting.

I spent the morning telling one of my co-workers about what happened, but he just wasn’t listening at all ... “yeah, yeah, oh ... I get that ... oh...”

I started realising that complaining about things in any form is feminine behaviour and makes you feel like less of a man ... to be honest, upon reflection, I felt like a whiny bitch.

It reminded me of that maxim, “never complain, never explain”.

My boss later asked me why I was late, I kept it real brief and said sorry. Left it at that.

But, yeah. Never complain and never explain.

I need to be sure to catch myself next time I feel the urge to vent.

Why were you late? Don't leave us baby birds hangin'. You built it up enough I want a climax

 

[lowlife]

Wait... Complaining about stuff with people who don't give a fuck about you leads to nowhere?

Wow TS. You must be a scientist or something.

 

[Alphaboy]

Sometimes explanations are required..

This. There's a time and place for everything.

Most of the time I'll say sorry or even better "I appreciate your patience"

If a real emergency came up and I screwed people over I'm explaining why lest I just seem like an inconsiderate douche.

 

[Papa Doc]

This doesn’t make sense. You’ll become a door mat if people know you don’t complain about anything. Perhaps there’s a degrees of complaining that can be avoided like being late but to absolutely swear off complaining is a terrible idea. PS Trump complains daily and he’s the most powerful man in the world. Complaining/defending your position are traits of strong leadership.

 

[djacobox372]

Complaining isn't feminine in different circumstances.

Lets say the cashier short changed you by 20 dollars or €20 and you don't say anything. It's feminine not to speak up and let someone rob you blindly like that.

Or if you order a steak medium-rare, and they serve it to you well done.
You sit there and eat it passively without complaining.
That right there is feminine as hell.

There's a non-complainy way to handle both of those situations.

If you're shorted $ you just ask for your money. You don't make a whiny statement like "why didn't you give me all my money" . You make a demand: "GIVE ME MY $20."

Same thing goes with the steak. You don't complain that it's well done, you just give it back to them and tell them to give you what you ordered.

 

[djacobox372]

This doesn’t make sense. You’ll become a door mat if people know you don’t complain about anything. Perhaps there’s a degrees of complaining that can be avoided like being late but to absolutely swear off complaining is a terrible idea. PS Trump complains daily and he’s the most powerful man in the world. Complaining/defending your position are traits of strong leadership.

Complaining is when you talk about a problem and not a solution.

Frame all your "complaints" as a call to action and you won't seem so whiny.

 

[Papa Doc]

Complaining is when you talk about a problem and not a solution.

Frame all your "complaints" as a call to action and you won't seem so whiny.

So if a restaurant or hotel treats me poorly and I complain, I should always tell them what I expect them to do to remedy the situation? I don't agree.

 

[forum poster]

Disclaimer * this advice may not be applicable in court when appearing in front of a judge.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

I try to never complain or make excuses to my boss, if I fuck up I tell him, think he appreciates it. My equivalent makes excuses for everything, it’s painful.

 

[lowlife]

I try to never complain or make excuses to my boss, if I fuck up I tell him, think he appreciates it. My equivalent makes excuses for everything, it’s painful.

We just let a guy go that's like that, couldn't tell him shit because he would just start in with the whiny ass excuses. He'd be a decent worker if he just stfu and accepted the constructive criticism.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

We just let a guy go that's like that, couldn't tell him shit because he would just start in with the whiny ass excuses. He'd be a decent worker if he just stfu and accepted the constructive criticism.

Yeah you have to put yourself in your superiors shoes, they’re more likely to tolerate the occasional fuck up if you tell them as soon as it happens.

 

[mrbaapt]

Explanations are crucial. Complaints without a proposed solution are useless.

 

[Krixes]

I somewhat agree. For a little over a month I've been on here trying to defend the integrity of Cowboy Cerrone. I just gave up a few days ago, and actually feel much better. I was wasting so much energy against an army of Conor haters. I still feel for Cowboy but it wasn't worth it in the end......

 

[Renard]

Pretty much. Apologizing or explaining a mistake also makes people pay more attention to the mistake than they otherwise would if you had glossed over it, it has a magnifying effect. If you let people do their thing, they're usually so engrossed in their own stuff that they notice nothing. Explaining is defensive behaviour, the more you explain - the more you dig your grave; it's like people smell the weakness and it invites more investigation and blame.

Of course there are situations where you do need to do these things, but it's highly context-dependent. If a boss calls you for a talk about a specific problem, you can say "My bad, I hadn't paid attention to __ or __" and move on. But again you don't apologize or explain profusely, you plainly acknowledge and that's it.