Need some motivation to continue drinking heavily

Do lines of coke off the tranny hookers dick then blow your savings at the casino. That will give you the motivation to continue.
 
fluffball said:
My wife and kid are out of town, been drunk for like 4 days straight and I'm starting to wear out. Help me continue before they come back and I have to change poop diapers and sing about ladybugs.
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1. If you don't drink, who will?
2. You love them, but they're also your burden, and a man needs relief from his burdens.
3. Drink preventatively, as a prophylactic against stress because that's coming back with the fam.
4. Some of the best and most accomplished people in the world drink, why aren't you doing your part?
5. Some people worked very hard to distill and bottle and distribute the stuff. Do you want to let that work go to waste?
6. If you don't drink until they come back, a thousand puppies will die and it'll be your fault.

Tip of the glass to you!
 
This is the best idea for a thread I have ever seen.

Overpressure said:
1. If you don't drink, who will?
2. You love them, but they're also your burden, and a man needs relief from his burdens.
3. Drink preventatively, as a prophylactic against stress because that's coming back with the fam.
4. Some of the best and most accomplished people in the world drink, why aren't you doing your part?
5. Some people worked very hard to distill and bottle and distribute the stuff. Do you want to let that work go to waste?
6. If you don't drink until they come back, a thousand puppies will die and it'll be your fault.

Tip of the glass to you!
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TS, are you watching enough porn while they're gone? Sounds like no. Porn makes me want to drink.

Watch more porn.
 
DragRacer said:
You need 100mg of adderall so you can finish the whole bottle of scotch and not get dizzy.
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Yea wtf is up with that? I cannot get drunk on adderall. The adderall hangover is real though. Like your brain has no happy chemicals left in it the next day and you feel like a sack of zombie shit.
 
Just know that you and everybody you've ever known or even seen will be dead in the blink of an eye on a cosmological scale.

Well, everyone except these guys
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o-KEITH-RICHARDS-DRUGS-facebook.jpg
 
sickc0d3r said:
TS, are you watching enough porn while they're gone? Sounds like no. Porn makes me want to drink.

Watch more porn.
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It's such a wasted opportunity! I am at a like zero level of horniness, the one and only time I can actually watch porn. Maybe I need the threat of my wife coming in yelling at me to watch the baby to get off. Ah dang it, I have a weird fetish. :(
 
fluffball said:
It's such a wasted opportunity! I am at a like zero level of horniness, the one and only time I can actually watch porn. Maybe I need the threat of my wife coming in yelling at me to watch the baby to get off. Ah dang it, I have a weird fetish. :(
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Lol. As a new daddy myself, 7 weeks removed, the fact that watching porn while perched on your lazy-boy was not the very first thing you did when they left does not compute...
 
sickc0d3r said:
Lol. As a new daddy myself, 7 weeks removed, the fact that watching porn while perched on your lazy-boy was not the very first thing you did when they left does not compute...
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Oh I've watched porn, I just don't care that I am doing so. It's a literal waste. I'm wasting valuable time.
 
Rubbing one out is a lot better when drunk, get back on the peak buzz before this misses gets back.

Have drinking contest with sherdoggers and post vid as evidence. If you get hospitalized you'll be out so you won't have to change poop diapers.
 
When you come on the Intrawerbz for motivation to drink, that is time to tell yourself to stop, and move onto something else.
 
you can do this. chug a glass of water in between. don't stop. puke if need be.
 
I second the cocaine suggestion. You'll be alert and in the mood to drink until you die but fuck it, live in the now right?!
 
Clippy said:
Have you ever tried absinthe? It has tree worm roots or something in it that makes you see fairies. I think it's illegal most places.
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They sell the bullshit version in any liquor store, it tastes like ass. It gets you drunk of course, but it's not trippy.
 
Don't let your family stop you from drinking. When they get home just tell them that this is how life will be from now on. The first step is for them to realize that you're an alcoholic now, and that they can't controll it
 
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