National Weather Service issues falling iguanas warning

Big news in South FL today, as the national weather service issues a "falling iguana warning" as temperatures drop into the 30s and 40s with large wind chills. Apparently this makes the iguanas go into some sort of cryostasis/hibernation until it warms back up.

https://weather.com/news/news/2020-01-21-falling-frozen-iguanas-florida

I have been in South FL for over 6 years, and this does indeed seem like the coldest day I have experienced here. Still not that bad, as I am from the North East, but fun to wear a sweater for a change.

In other SoFL news, Antonio Brown is still Antonio Brown, and assaulted a delivery person and refused to see police when they went to his house. Didn't know you could refuse the police like that, I will take note for the next time I assault someone.

https://whdh.com/sports/antonio-bro...assault-moving-truck-driver-trainer-arrested/

 

Better than a Sharknado.

 

but what about an Antonio Brownado?

 

Florida is such a shithole state. I’ve only been to Ft. Luderdale and Miami which was enough for me.

 

"How did you get that shiner Steve?" "Dude an iguana hit me in the face!"

Iguana:

 

Brumation.

 

that is a good scene and fact! I still prefer cryostasis, because it is what convicts went through in Demolition Man, which is the best movie like.. ever.

 

Yeah, when Martin Kove is on, he's on. It's funny if you watch something like the original Last House on the Left from the 1970s. He literally can't act at all there, and now he's laying spin on the lines and knows the Kreese character inside out.

As for Demolition Man... Boy that movie has aged well. It seemed like silly fantasy when it came out and now the only thing that hasn't happened yet is the three seashells.

 

Wait a second, Antonio Brown assaulted somebody and then he told the cops to fuck off and they fucked off from him, what?!

 

There's a rule that if you get hit with a falling iguana you have to revive it by rubbing your penis against it vigorously to warm it up. I don't make the rules.

 

Oh lucky me. I was doing that not knowing it was a rule.

 

In 2011, we (South Florida) had like two straight weeks where the temp. never got above 60 F at any point. Where I work, there was dead iguanas everywhere. It was kind of nuts.

 

Pfft. We have bigger problems up here.

 

Sandra Bullock in leggings........urrfgggghhh

 

I think you need to step up the vigorosity. They need serious heat.. And the rumor is you weren't making it hot enough. Step it up.

 

Feel bad for the Alligators , Swamp people already trying to wipe them out.

 

I dunno about a brownado, but eating several quest bars in a day will give you a brown tsunami.

 

Maybe I should retire. Can do it without busting anymore

 

Well if you can't give them nourishment right after they wake up, they die anyways, so you might as well just use your GFs vagina. I'm a professional, so you can send me a video so we can discuss her technique.