My fingernails grow so fast

Then I was at KFC and there was this woman with a walker and she walked right in the Drive-Thru area but in reverse

Who goes for a walk at a drive-thru
 
So KFC has this popcorn chicken and fries and you can get it for only $3

That's a pretty snazzy terrific deal for this day and age
 
What really sucks is you say hey KFC I want sweet and sour sauce

But they hand you plum sauce
 
Don't f****** lie to me b****** just be straight up and I'm giving you a plum sauce motherfukers
 
Plum sauce is not sweet and sour sauce you know I'm saying

That's like getting mega blocks instead of Legos for Christmas
 
Mega Bloks more like mega suck am I right
 
I don't want to sound like an ass-whole but not as a kid and my aunt gave me mega Bloks

Give me a bag of rocks instead man
 
Legos like more expensive than crack
 
One time when I was playing with Legos in my apartment I forgot that the sink was full of dishes and my portable washing machine overflow and I totally drown the neighbour underneath me
 
She was a good sport about it though I feel bad because the landlord never did fix it
 
My f****** landlord when I was uptown he couldn't even like fix a screen door
 
I remember when my toilet broke and he's like yeah I'll fix it

And then he like comes in and he doesn't have a clue what he's doing

When he comes out and he's like you guys you have a hacksaw
 
Buddy were renting an apartment why do you think we have a hacksaw

Why do you get a hacksaw to fix a toilet

What the f*** was he doing
 
Then another time he's like trying to fix my stove

And it was like this piece of metal that was like holding the rack up

Anyway we went outside and beat it with a hammer on the sidewalk

That was weird but it got the job done anyway

Thanksgiving was saved
 
Another time he knocks I'm off my rent for kicking people now and then I threw out all the furniture

I mean like I literally threw it out the window

was a great time and if you've never thrown things off of a third-story window before Oh my gosh you like got to get on that s*** like right now
 
Man like a crowd of townies gathered

I think we put on a pretty good show

We tossed out a couch

Kaboom

All sorts of stuff

Smash Bang pow

An old like china cabinet saying

Blue a million pieces
 
And they were cheering us on man

They were like throw more stuff out the window woohoo
 
I taunted them with a big old vacuum cleaner from like the seventies

I was like hey crowd I'm going to toss it

And there were like you do it

And I'm like here we go

Fake out

And they were like come on we want to see smash

It was a good time and I felt like a superstar
 
Then in like the pile of debris outside

Two random guys like came out of the bushes

They're like hey man can we have this table

But the tables one of the legs is f****** dangling off by a thread

I'm like yeah sure you can have the table

It was clearly trash

I never seen two guys so happy over a trash table
 
My microwave broke today and I threw it behind my garage

Oh man I wish I still lived in town so Town people would take my trash for me
 
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