So, I fell asleep on the couch after watching the Eagle vs. Bears playoff game, and I ended up having the craziest Jon Jones dream. This is all true, but it was only a dream.
So, in my dream, I'm somehow staying by myself in a luxury apartment when I hear a party raging next door. Suddenly, Jon Jones is laying on my couch smiling non-stop. After a while I get suspicious, and I ask him, "Jon, you're smiling like crazy, be honest with me, are you high?" After some reluctance, he looks at me grinning, and shakes his head yes.
So, I get even more suspicious, and I ask him, "So, Jon, be honest with me, did you ever stop smoking while training?" He grins like a sneaky child, and shakes his head no.
Then I ask him, "But aren't you worried about testing positive? What will you say?" He pauses, and then we look at each other like a single mind that just had an epiphany, and simultaneously shout: "Contact high!"
I laugh, and I go, "Of course, all of these MMA fighters smoke, and all of these MMA fans smoke, and they use these vape pens that produce a ridiculous amount of smoke." Now I think I'm a comedian, and I go, "You know, Jon, what's funny is those vape pens produce such a large amount of smoke that it actually looks like someone is going around with a fire extinguisher trying to put out a series of small fires."
Feeling like I was on a roll, I follow that up with: "Don't vape me bro!" He quickly pulls his hand to his mouth like some black people do when they think you said something funny, and he points his finger at me approvingly.
The dream ends.
What's funny about all of this, is that at no point did it occur to me to ask him if he was also still doing steroids while training, and what would he say if he tested positive? For some reason, it was all about the weed.
Weird.
So, in my dream, I'm somehow staying by myself in a luxury apartment when I hear a party raging next door. Suddenly, Jon Jones is laying on my couch smiling non-stop. After a while I get suspicious, and I ask him, "Jon, you're smiling like crazy, be honest with me, are you high?" After some reluctance, he looks at me grinning, and shakes his head yes.
So, I get even more suspicious, and I ask him, "So, Jon, be honest with me, did you ever stop smoking while training?" He grins like a sneaky child, and shakes his head no.
Then I ask him, "But aren't you worried about testing positive? What will you say?" He pauses, and then we look at each other like a single mind that just had an epiphany, and simultaneously shout: "Contact high!"
I laugh, and I go, "Of course, all of these MMA fighters smoke, and all of these MMA fans smoke, and they use these vape pens that produce a ridiculous amount of smoke." Now I think I'm a comedian, and I go, "You know, Jon, what's funny is those vape pens produce such a large amount of smoke that it actually looks like someone is going around with a fire extinguisher trying to put out a series of small fires."
Feeling like I was on a roll, I follow that up with: "Don't vape me bro!" He quickly pulls his hand to his mouth like some black people do when they think you said something funny, and he points his finger at me approvingly.
The dream ends.
What's funny about all of this, is that at no point did it occur to me to ask him if he was also still doing steroids while training, and what would he say if he tested positive? For some reason, it was all about the weed.
Weird.
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