My brother is dead at 36.

[Langstarr]

The man who was my best friend my entire life is gone just like that. One minute making me laugh, one minute gone and making me cry. He died suddenly and unexpectedly. Still don’t know the cause, but it was 3 days before Xmas and my world has been altered forever. It feels like I’ve had a limb amputated. I don’t want to live in a world without him. He was so important to me. We didn’t even have a whole lot in common. We were just bonded, welded together by love. He left me a few days after I told him my wife and I are having twins, one of which he would’ve been The Godfather of no doubt. To make things worse, this happened in the middle of my mom dying of pancreatic cancer. I’m going to have to go through this all over again in a few months.

I’m not asking for sympathy, prayers, and I certainly don’t want worthless likes. Besides this being very cathartic to write it down, I am asking anyone out there who’s lost their sibling at a young age to reach out to me and tell a bit about their experience. I want to know what it’s been like for others that have been through this. My heart is broken, my mind is scattered. My life feels meaningless, but I am not hopeless at all. Besides the twins, I have an amazing wife and my father is with me regularly. I know I’ll be ok eventually, but right now, it hurts so fucking bad.

Please help anyone who’s been through this.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

All I can tell you is the pain is sharp now but the sharpness will fade.
My father is currently dying of cancer so I'm facing that same as yourself.

 

[El_Dyablo619]

Im usually a sarcastic asshole on here, but i am trully sorry for your loss.

 

[Langstarr]

All I can tell you is the pain is sharp now but the sharpness will fade.
My father is currently dying of cancer so I'm facing that same as yourself.

What kind? The shitty thing about pancreatic is that it has no symptoms until it’s too late. My uncle just died of it in March.

 

[Langstarr]

Im usually a sarcastic asshole on here, but i am trully sorry for your loss.

Yea I don’t think I’ve ever really written anything too serious at all. Certainty nothing this deep. Thanks mate.

 

[dildos]

Be strong man, I hope you got the support available around you to get through.

 

[Langstarr]

Be strong man, I hope you got the support available around you to get through.

I do. For sure.

 

[Deleted member 220895]

Holy shit. I have a brother, and the thought of him dying kills me more than my mom dying.

Don't stop talking about it. I lost my Dad 8 years ago and I didn't talk about, so I'm not over it . It hurts, but apparently from what people tell me, gets you over it because you say it out loud, hear yourself, and understand it more.

Get through it, man. Think about your kids, dude. It's okay to feel happy in these times too.

 

[phoenixikki]

Stay strong, that's what you brother would like to see.
What happened to him? Car accident?

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

What kind? The shitty thing about pancreatic is that it has no symptoms until it’s too late. My uncle just died of it in March.

He was first diagnosed with cancer in his right eye, they removed it and started watching his liver because that's a popular neighborhood eye cancer likes to move to, good schools.

But neither he nor my ma told me about it. So he called and finally told me, but he sounded like he was dying on the phone. I was upset and kinda angry but held that back because obviously.

All the same, shitty to find out like that, a year later and when they were into "the last-ditch round of chemo". In the same conversation he's telling me he's dying, he also starts hitting me with details of my inheritance and saying that he only wants a memorial, no funeral.

I almost made a thread about it because I assumed he would have a funeral. Don't even know why, and I don't want one for myself.
I hope your uncle went peacefully and with dignity.

 

[sh1tehawke]

Shit, sorry for your loss. Ive not lost a sibling but my mother died from cancer a few years ago so I know how you're feeling.

It's horrible and there's not much anyone can say to make it better, but it does get easier with time. Be there for your old man and take comfort from your wife and kids.

You just got to be strong, hang in there and try to live your life.

 

[Langstarr]

He was first diagnosed with cancer in his right eye, they removed it and started watching his liver because that's a popular neighborhood eye cancer likes to move to, good schools.

But neither he nor my ma told me about it. So he called and finally told me, but he sounded like he was dying on the phone. I was upset and kinda angry but held that back because obviously.

All the same, shitty to find out like that, a year later and when they were into "the last-ditch round of chemo". In the same conversation he's telling me he's dying, he also starts hitting me with details of my inheritance and saying that he only wants a memorial, no funeral.

I almost made a thread about it because I assumed he would have a funeral. Don't even know why, and I don't want one for myself.
I hope your uncle went peacefully and with dignity.

He did. He was a great man. One of only 4 that I looked up to. Now only two are alive.

 

[Jon Stark]

I guarantee your brother would not want you stay depressed and sad long. Try to stay strong for his memory and your pregnant wife. Go easy on the booze and try to exercise an hour a day. Create some nice memories with your mom too if you can. Good luck.

 

[Langstarr]

Since my brother died,” The Highwayman” has become my theme song. It was one of few songs that we both loved. We would sing it together frequently. We used the last verse on his prayer card. When he was pledging for his frat, that was their go to song, and I was always a country fan so it’s really become my war song.

 

[IamStryker]

Still have my brothers but my father died of cancer when I was five. I have so few memories of him that I am convinced my brain just pushed them out to stop the pain.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

He did. He was a great man. One of only 4 that I looked up to. Now only two are alive.

I'm really sorry for your loss and his.

I've been trying to deal with the psychological impact of all this.
I have a buffer of sorts; my folks live a thousand miles away, and I've seen them twice in the last ten years. ... but that only makes this more sudden. I can't make myself accept that he's gonna be nonexistent soon. It hardly seems real that this guy I've known my whole life will be gone. And that people die.

And I bounce. Other deaths have upset me, close ones. But outwardly I've always been stoic, making it my goal to be the stable person in a room full of people who can't cope.

Now that's me. I find that this is affecting me more deeply than any other and he isn't even a part of my daily life.

 

[Langstarr]

I'm really sorry for your loss and his.

I've been trying to deal with the psychological impact of all this.
I have a buffer of sorts; my folks live a thousand miles away, and I've seen them twice in the last ten years. ... but that only makes this more sudden. I can't make myself accept that he's gonna be nonexistent soon. It hardly seems real that this guy I've known my whole life will be gone. And that people die.

And I bounce. Other deaths have upset me, close ones. But outwardly I've always been stoic, making it my goal to be the stable person in a room full of people who can't cope.

Now that's me. I find that this is affecting me more deeply than any other and he isn't even a part of my daily life.

Good luck with that man. My father and brother are my closest friends. Thank god I have my old man, we’ve really been leaning on each other through this. It’s hard for me to relate to speaking to my father only twice in ten years. How did that happen?

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

Good luck with that man. My father and brother are my closest friends. Thank god I have my old man, we’ve really been leaning on each other through this. It’s hard for me to relate to speaking to my father only twice in ten years. How did that happen?

We're Michigan people. My dad retired and basically told my ma: "We're moving to Ireland, or Florida."
So they live in Florida.

I haven't been able to travel much there, busy lives and all that, and ma has been basically bedridden for years.

Knowing something intellectually and being emotionally able to handle it turn out to be only somewhat related.

 

[newms84]

I haven't lost an actual sibling but my mom adopted my best friend when he was 14. He lived with us until we got an apartment together when we were around 19. We lived together for like four more years. He died two years ago of a fentanyl overdose. I was so angry at first I didn't really grieve his death but as time passed the pain began to set in. It still hurts when I see his daughter but as time has passed, I can think of him without getting sad.

 

[JAEGERX]

shit man, my condolences, my big brothers birthday is coming up and i know i would be devastated if that ever happened to me.