Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by MC Paul Barman, Aug 11, 2019.
It's okay homie,
We've all been asking the same thing around here for a while...
I guess I could have worded that differently. We were all in on a hotel suite, most of us left while he did it and we had to hear him do it again.
I did enjoy the fact that he reversed it all and got out of the dog house as the guy we chirped the hardest. He was no longer the butt of our jokes
Same thing happened to me but it wasnt 69, i hooked up with a girl and the room was pitch black. The next morning i woke up not even remembering where i was and stumbled to the bathroom. When i looked in the mirror i was covered in blood and thought i killed someone.
- Fingerbanged a 2 out of 10 in front of nearly everyone I know in a night club
- Answering a question in a lecture at college and my voice cracking like Screech from Saved by the Bell
- Breaking a chair (i'm fat) on the first meeting with my now wife's family and extended family.
6th grade I was getting off the school bus to go home and my sister was parked in the corner of the street to take me home so I wouldn't have to walk. For some reason I decided to get off the bus and run to the car full speed. Well, I tripped and fell on my belly breaking the fall with my hands. It was embarrassing because the bus hadn't left yet so everyone from the neighborhood got to see me eat shit.
If you were so embarassed by this, why did you marry her?
i was about 15 when this happened, but i was out with my mom doing the grocer shopping, pushing the nearly full shopping cart when i spot some girl from the school up the road. trying to be cool i lent all my weight on the handle of the cart, don't ask me why i thought this was gonna make me look cool. the cart flipped up and launched all the shopping over me, which of course included a dozen eggs, so i did the only thing i could, jumped up and legged it, with the howls of laughter following me.
I was jump starting a chicks car and I slid on ice, faced planted while i had my right hand down and badly broke my hand. After all that she wasnt impressed and left me on the ground hurting, which I drove myself to the hospital after her piece of shit car started.
I was going through a horrible drought and was having sex with a disgusting chick, looking back now what the fuck was I thinking, anyways her front door opens and it's her drug sponsor asking her why shes not at the NA meeting and she needs to go to get her kids back per the court. The sponsor looked at me like I was the nastiest guy ever for hitting that I'll never forget the disappointment on the face of the person.
Ha! Yeah, she does something like that, you wonder who in the heck your mom is. And I’d probably never recover.
“Hey, you see Happy Man lately? He deleted his Facebook account and shut off his phone”
“Nah man. Last I heard he skipped town months ago. Hear he went up to Alaska. Doing odd jobs and trying to get work on a fishing boat”
“No shit! I wonder what the hell happened to him.”
Had to hear him do it again..
I also like how "most of us left" well he did it.
But I wanted to watch so I stayed behind..
I was hammered at a concert in my home town. Just being a drunk asshole causing problems. Anyway I got to the point where I could barely stand so I decided make my way to the front row. By the time I got there I was fucked the world was spinning. The only way I could stand up was to put my arms around the two dudes on either side of me and hold myself up.
I'm so drunk that I'm pretty much dead weight so as I do this I almost send one guy over and try to regain my balance on the other side and almost send the other guy flying over.
Well before I know it everyone in the front has the arms around eachother swaying back and forth in a row. It must have looked like I was starting some brotherly love thing because it caught on.
I woke up in the drunk tank
Got caught bamging the gf in highschool. Her parents left for some swiss chalet and the two of us just went at it. Mom forgot her purse and they came back within ten minutes and came in the patio door. I had my back to the patio door and was balls deep in their daughter on the pool table about 10 feet away.
They got the purse and left us again but holeeeeeee fuck it was akward.
Fucking hell. Waking up with a girl in a strange place with no memory thinking you murdered her ….
You raw dogged it?
This one ain't so bad, but in the early days of social media, I want to say Friendster or Myspace or maybe it was even ICQ. I made an account to look up people I knew in high school. I ended up looking up a bunch of random girls I had a crush on and about the 20th girl I got a notification that someone viewed my profile. It was one of the girls I had just looked up...I was like, ahhhh fuck, this shit keeps track of who views your profile. It doesn't feel like such a big deal now, but back then I felt like such a loser stalking all these girls I didn't have the guts to talk to back in HS.
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