Most embarrasing/mortifying moments in your life

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by MC Paul Barman, Aug 11, 2019.

  1. MC Paul Barman

    MC Paul Barman Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    The 2 big ones that come to mind:

    1) I was in my Western Civ course taking a midterm. The class was so big that it was held in a movie theater with the prof just teaching from the stage. That class was bigger than my high school. There was no assigned seating.
    The test starts and I'm struggling from the get go. To make matters worse I keep hearing (immediately behind me) some guy or girl making this sucking sound. Like the kind of sound when someone is using a straw to suck the remaining drops of soda from a cup. I start noticing the sound more and more; I start to get more and more pissed off.
    To the point of not being able to focus on the test anymore I lose my cool, spin around and yell out "Please quit making that sound!" and immediately everything inside me falls into the pit of my stomach. I'm staring face to face with this kid who is wheelchair bound and has what looks like a tracheostomy tube (that's what was making the liquidy suction sounds) in his throat.

    Everyone around us was like "OMG!"... People were saying (in hushed tones) "what a fucking asshole" (and variations upon that). One of the TAs who was walking around the auditorium comes over and thankfully allowed me to move to another location to shit the bed on the test there.

    2) I'm a sophomore in high school and I'm leaving the YMCA to get picked up by my mom. It's raining outside and the parking lot is black top. As I'm walking through door to get outside there are two wigg ...(ahem - whites who are adopting another culture). As I walk past them I do an exaggerated swag to mock them. I jog out into the parking lot and my lead foot slips out and I flop right on my back. I never heard two kids laugh harder in my life. I'm laying there staring up into the sky thinking "Of fucking course this has to happen to me".
     
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  2. Thunderhead

    Thunderhead Assman Extraordinaire

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    It's that time when I spelled the word "embarrassing" with one 's' instead of two. God, I was so humiliated that I didn't want to post again, ever.
     
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  3. JabToucher

    JabToucher I don't put anyone on ignore!

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    About four or five pretty real popular girls were walking down this street. I was out on my roller blades when I noticed them.

    I thought if they saw me ride really really fast they'd be impressed for some reason and like me. So I did and fell over in front of them to make it worse!!

    This was last week.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2019
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  4. mb23100

    mb23100 Gold Belt

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    Freshman year in HS i was in science class and i had a stomach ache. I asked my teacher if i could leave and she said no. When i sat back down the girl next to me asked if i wanted a Midol. I didnt know what it was and figured it was just tylenol. I took it. Towards the end of class the teacher asked me "Are you feeling better?" I said "Yeah, Amanda gave me a Midol". The class erupted in laughter and everyone called me Midol for six months.
     
  5. MC Paul Barman

    MC Paul Barman Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    LOL!
     
  6. Thunderhead

    Thunderhead Assman Extraordinaire

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    Wait, hold on. But did it work?
     
  7. supnmunm

    supnmunm Brown Belt

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    One time in like grade 4 our class was sitting in a circle reading a book together. I felt a silent fart coming along, I figured it was safe to let it happen. Turns out it wasn't silent at all, it was very loud and it was pretty obvious where it came from. I still think about it to this day.
     
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  8. Ottawaguy

    Ottawaguy Gold Belt

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    I had just started to ride motorcycles about 8 years ago. I had about 1 week of experience behind my belt. Stopped at a place for lunch. When i came out there was a group that had just arrived on their harleys. I got on my bike hoping that i wouldn’t stall it in front of them. Got on the bike, kick stand up, then hit the horn instead of the start button. They all laughed and i got the hell out, embarassed.
     
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  9. ufcfan4

    ufcfan4 Can't Andle The Riddum

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    Oh man. That first story. Spot on cringe-inducing. I feel for you, man. That's a tough one. You meant no harm but no one knew that it was just a case of you not being aware of the scenario. That's rough.

    Second one is not nearly as bad lol, as I'm sure, from their perspective, you just got your comeuppance for mocking them.
     
  10. mb23100

    mb23100 Gold Belt

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    It must have
     
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  11. Thunderhead

    Thunderhead Assman Extraordinaire

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    Eh, then I wouldn't have been too embarrassed about it. The medicine served its purpose. Say, if I had staph infection or ringworm or whatever, and I took some Vagisil to treat it and it somehow worked, then I wouldn't feel embarrassed about it. Sure, all my buddies at the jiujitsu school will laugh at me and tease me and whatnot, but at least I don't have a giant gash in my armpit area like Randleman once had... Jesus, that got dark real quick.
     
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  12. MC Paul Barman

    MC Paul Barman Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    Sophomore year in college and a friend of mine (Matt) said there's a girl from his hometown who thought I looked good. He had a picture in his room at his house with the guys he hung out with at college... and I was one of the guys in the picture. She saw that picture and made the inquiry to Matt.

    He was heading back to his hometown the next weekend and asked if I wanted to go on a date with her. He shows me her picture and she is cute, but she looked kind of tall. I'm only 5'9. I ask Matt how tall she is and he said that she was at most my height if not alittle shorter. But he was 6'4 guy....
    I decide to go along with Matt to his hometown. We're driving my car... he's going to drop me off at her house. She and I are going to take her car, go out.. and then meet up with Matt (who has my car) at another person's house for a house party.

    So I get dropped off and go up to the door and ring the bell. She comes to the door and if this bitch isn't at least 6'1. As soon as she sees me all of her life was drained out in that one moment.
    I would have turned and left right then but I didn't have a fucking car.... and I'm in this town I've never been to.
    We go up to her room and I don't know what the hell to say. I would have had better luck getting a conversation out of squirrel than I would have out of her.
    We go to some pizza restaurant and she literally goes to another table to chat with the people there. I look like a fucking clown.

    She had enough humanity to still drive me to that house party where I just took the keys from Matt, told him to fuck off right to his face, and drove back home.
     
  13. Hitman81

    Hitman81 Silver Belt

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    In Navy bootcamp, last night doing battlestations I yelled "seabag" in the middle of singing Anchors Away. Our drill instructor lost his shit on me and I thought I was going to get held back. I cried. But I didn't get held back.
     
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  14. Sansnom

    Sansnom Gold Belt

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    In elementary school during lunch I accidently farted and shit my pants. At that time I was new to this english school and didn't speak english very well.

    I didn't know what to do so I went to a lunch room supervisor and told her in half french half english "Miss, I did caca in my culotte" which basically means "Miss, I pooped my underwear". All of that while crying.

    She took me to the "Lost and found" items so I could grab a pair of pants. Then we went to the principle's office so I could call my mom and started crying on the phone.

    Probably my most embarrassing moment.
     
  15. Sansnom

    Sansnom Gold Belt

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    This one is both mortifying/embarrassing. I think I mentionned it in another similar thread.

    At 17 years old I thought it would be cool to try an escort for fun. A friend of mine had already did it and talked me into it. So I checked the ads and called this "27 year old, 5"8, double D chick" according to the description.

    Problem is, when I arrived at her appartment and opened the door, there was no way in hell she was 27. The girl looked like she has seen some shit.

    I felt like leaving but couldn't find the courage to tell her and she also looked like she really wanted the money.

    So we get in her bedroom and before we get to it we decide to have a smoke and chat. She finally tells me she's 37 years old, not 27. That she has 2 kids and has been doing this for over a decade.

    All I could think of is the number of dicks that have been in her and that she was old enough to be my mother. Too top it off, she was a crack addict. Right before we start she says, you don't mind I take a few puffs?

    At that point I just wanted to bolt but I felt obligated to go through with it. So she tells me to get undressed.

    For the next 30 minutes I was going from half an erection to limp. At one point she turns around for doggy and I tried to do what's possible with a limp dick. And she says "you're not in". Ended up not finishing and embarrassed af.
     
  16. Thunderhead

    Thunderhead Assman Extraordinaire

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    {<redford}

    You've got balls on you for admitting a story like this. I like big balls.
     
  17. Sansnom

    Sansnom Gold Belt

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    Wouldn't have told the story if it happened last week. But I was a young, dumb and inexperienced 17 year old so

    <Fedor23>
     
  18. Happy Man

    Happy Man Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    Texting out a horribly filthy, disgustingly filthy, intensely specific, graphically detailed, smut Laden text to my girlfriend. One to make a porn star blush.

    And accidentally sending it right to my mom.


    And in my moments of terror, where you would rather just fade into oblivion and be buried under a rock, just to not feel that terrific shame, I got a response.

    It was.....”geez”
     
  19. supnmunm

    supnmunm Brown Belt

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    <{you!}>

    Brutal. Was she at least good at giving head?
     
  20. Thunderhead

    Thunderhead Assman Extraordinaire

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    So...are you implying that it happened again last week?
     
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