Men with daughters. How has having a daughter changed you? has it?

[Phlog]

Youre going to get responses like this . Set example . Be good dad and they should not be idiots .

I mean this is about it . You ever see criminal court and children and teens get charged with horrific crimes and always the parent sits there defending their child to the media how their kid is a good kid from a good family who could never do some thing so evil . This is just a delusion parents will have . I dont think you will get much honesty because its hard for parents to ever see their children objectively and as bad no matter what they do .

That's nonsense dude.

There are parents that don't admit or know they're bad, that doesn't mean all parents are like that. That's a logical non sequitur.

I know of a couple of parents with arsehole kids and they're straight up about it.

Truth is parents have about a 10% effect on their kids in their raising strategy. Over 70% is genetic.

So yeah, setting an example, i.e. not allowing abuse is the best one can do and is largely all that is necessary.

 

[Brampton_Boy]

I have three daughters. Set an example of what kind of man they should look for and hope for the best.

This post isn't getting enough love.

I don't have kids, but I have two nieces - all you can do is set an example of what a man should be, teach them values and self respect, and love them unconditionally. What happens from there is up to them.

Much of this discussion seems to revolve around sexuality (i.e. how would you feel if your daughter did X,Y,Z). The truth is, I am trying to reach a point where I can recognize that all woman are sexual beings, and there is nothing inherently wrong with promiscuity, experimentation etc. A person's desire to have 100 or 1 sexual partner is not necessary a moral indictment. As long as people aren't hurting themselves, or others, then do whatever makes them happy.

I would hope that if/when I have daughters, I will respect their decision and judgement as adults to engage in safe and emotionally healthy sexual relationships - at a certain point, I am not their keepers, and you just have to hope for the best.... just don't tell me about it.

 

[Sad Dad]

This post isn't getting enough love.

I don't have kids, but I have two nieces - all you can do is set an example of what a man should be, teach them values and self respect, and love them unconditionally. What happens from there is up to them.

Much of this discussion seems to revolve around sexuality (i.e. how would you feel if your daughter did X,Y,Z). The truth is, I am trying to reach a point where I can recognize that all woman are sexual beings, and there is nothing inherently wrong with promiscuity, experimentation etc. A person's desire to have 100 or 1 sexual partner is not necessary a moral indictment. As long as people aren't hurting themselves, or others, then do whatever makes them happy.

I would hope that if/when I have daughters, I will respect their decision and judgement as adults to engage in safe and emotionally healthy sexual relationships - at a certain point, I am not their keepers, and you just have to hope for the best.... just don't tell me about it.

Father here, great post.

 

[Banchan]

That's nonsense dude.

There are parents that don't admit or know they're bad, that doesn't mean all parents are like that. That's a logical non sequitur.

I know of a couple of parents with arsehole kids and they're straight up about it.

Truth is parents have about a 10% effect on their kids in their raising strategy. Over 70% is genetic.

So yeah, setting an example, i.e. not allowing abuse is the best one can do and is largely all that is necessary.

You are completely lying to say that any parent can be an objective judge on their childs character . Parents are biased theyre also biased to their own behaviour . Notice the response is all the same - set a good example . Good chance the parents arent good examples either .

 

[Banchan]

Much of this discussion seems to revolve around sexuality (i.e. how would you feel if your daughter did X,Y,Z). The truth is, I am trying to reach a point where I can recognize that all woman are sexual beings, and there is nothing inherently wrong with promiscuity, experimentation etc. A person's desire to have 100 or 1 sexual partner is not necessary a moral indictment. As long as people aren't hurting themselves, or others, then do whatever makes them happy.

Because thats what a lot of men think determines the value of a female or telling sign wether some one is good or bad person . That men can behave any way they want but women cant and thats the poison they teach their daughters and consequently its usually the strictest parenting that leads to promiscuous kids . For example like that sexist bigot who said he was giving it his all to teach his daughter to be a good person mean while he constantly puts women down and says they need to know their role . Awesome parenting .

 

[Brampton_Boy]

Because thats what a lot of men think determines the value of a female or telling sign wether some one is good or bad person . That men can behave any way they want but women cant and thats the poison they teach their daughters and consequently its usually the strictest parenting that leads to promiscuous kids . For example like that sexist bigot who said he was giving it his all to teach his daughter to be a good person mean while he constantly puts women down and says they need to know their role . Awesome parenting .

I fully understand where your coming from - and I have been guilty of maintaining that unfair double standard regarding sexuality between genders. We are conditioned from a very early age that a man's value is (largely) defined by his sexual conquests, while a woman's is in her perceived chasteness.

As I get older and start to think about what I would like to teach my children (or my nieces and nephews in my case), it's that sex is ok. What you do or don't do does not define your worth as an individual - just make sure you do it for the right reasons. And that's the tricky part, because is there really a clear cut "right reason" to have sex?

One of my biggest fears is having a daughter who uses sex as a way to get people to like her. I work with alot of young people (18-22), and you can kind of see the young woman who use sex as a social crutch because they don't feel they have something else to offer (I don't think the same thing happens to men, but it is possible). I have managed to move past the point of judging them - I ascribe no positive or negative value attachment to the act of sex. However, a part of me wants to tell these girls that they are worth so much more than what they can offer in the bedroom. Do it because you like the other person, or because you enjoy the physical act, but don't think that is the only way to get the attention they desire.

But who am I to judge why a person does what they do? Particularly for something as complicated as sex. I have engaged in a number of sexual encounters that I knew weren't good for me, but at the time, I had my reasons. Some things can't be thought through logically.

 

[Daveb]

I have a daughter I thought it would change me but nope still the same sleazy dude.

Also I don't care if my daughter chooses to Ho it up. None of my business. It's why I'm pro choice

 

[aldeniro78]

I have a daughter and my view of women has only gotten worse, although not because of her.

 

[Phlog]

You are completely lying to say that any parent can be an objective judge on their childs character . Parents are biased theyre also biased to their own behaviour . Notice the response is all the same - set a good example . Good chance the parents arent good examples either .

No body can be objective about anything, the term is useless, unless you wish to make a distinction between how subjective one is able to be.

Parents certainly have a reduced chance.

Some parents however certainly can be objective enough. You are dealing in absolutes, I am suggesting there are outliers. You crave certainty, black and white.

I draw your attention to my previous post you replied to where I informed you of parents I know who have objectively and reasonably determined their kids are arseholes.

Do you have limited experience of adult relationships, as in friendships with parents, as equals? That and youth would explain the lack of nuance, certainly did mine!

The response is the same because people are interested in what they CAN do, not what they cannot, regardless of how little (remember the 10%) that effect actually is.

 

[neverwas]

having a daughter hasn't changed me,i still hate everyone,especially women.

 

[Harmonica]

What I am talking about. From my experience they like being choked and some like being slapped. But my god no father wants to think of any guy doing that.

Woman one ends up with is a reflection of one's own nature.

 

[Harmonica]

One of my biggest fears is having a daughter who uses sex as a way to get people to like her. I work with alot of young people (18-22), and you can kind of see the young woman who use sex as a social crutch because they don't feel they have something else to offer (I don't think the same thing happens to men, but it is possible). I have managed to move past the point of judging them - I ascribe no positive or negative value attachment to the act of sex. However, a part of me wants to tell these girls that they are worth so much more than what they can offer in the bedroom. Do it because you like the other person, or because you enjoy the physical act, but don't think that is the only way to get the attention they desire.

Great outlooks displayed in both of your posts in this thread.

And don't you worry, there's no way your daughter will behave that way as long as she has a father like you around. Such behavior is unconsciously learned through watching and emulating parental relationship model, and being that you come off as an emotionally healthy and intelligent person, you will most likely choose a woman with similar preferences so you're almost automatically in the clear. If that's not convincing enough, add to it the fact that you'll properly educate your daughter on the subject by repetitively telling her what you told us in this thread, only in strict accordance with her current cognitive capabilities that are controlled by age and prior nurturing of the mind.

 

[ShayosInvisble]

Men who degrade women during and outside sex (relationships) usually were molested by older men as a child. They like to shame because they themselves were shamed, the only people I know of that treat girls like shit were either molested as a kid or beat up by their dad. I try to treat girls good, it pays off, if she isn't a ho-bag.

 

[Lights Out 101]

I have a ten month old daughter. I'll definitley be playing my part in teaching her self respect and ensuring she has a solid set of morals for when she's older, but the rest is up to her. Life is about learning from mistakes and making your own way through, i'm just here to guide her and to set a good example. I just want her to be a kind person and to be happy.

 

[Scott Parker 27]

I have a ten month old daughter. I'll definitley be playing my part in teaching her self respect and ensuring she has a solid set of morals for when she's older, but the rest is up to her. Life is about learning from mistakes and making your own way through, i'm just here to guide her and to set a good example. I just want her to be a kind person and to be happy.

You'll find out as they grow that their base true personality never changes from the moment they are born. They may go through phases, different styles etc., but it's just them expressing themselves or being influenced by their peers. It's a hell of a lot of work, good luck bro.

 

[bcordova]

I have an 8 week old daughter. I have gotten a lot of jokes about getting a gun and "oh you just wait until she starts dating." I hate that stuff. I am pretty sure all I can do is be there and support her, teach her to make good decisions and she will still do the things that kids do. I'm a realist. I know it's coming. Unless she is flying off the rails, I'll be good.

 

[Papawash]

Vagina is for s

Da ass is where it's at

 

[chubbman]

Having a daughter made me buy a house with a bigger back yard.

 

[RighteousWar]

We got some former thugs, Playas and abusers in here.

Has having a daughter changed your outlook to women? Do you ever think back to your days of degrading women (possibly being a manipulative/abusive ass). And either regret it or wish and hope to God that your daughter is never degraded/abused.

Do you think it would be karma if what you did was done to your daughter/daughters?

Wouldn't like it would you?

Makes men hypocrites huh.

You realize "karma" means you'll get what's coming to you for stuff you did in a past life, right?

 

[HHJ]

I dont wanna have kids but if i had a daughter id spoil the shit out of her and never let her out the house alone til shes 35