Relationship Married bros: What's in a name?

[chimpoehurricane]

Sex isnt that big of a deal. Lots of people get and stayed married. I personally had a dissolution because we agreed on everything, so inflation adjusted it cost less than our rings. Women only stayed married in the past, when they were unhappy, because of economic reasons.

Oh so transactional. That's what I thought.

As for sex, the amount of still married dead bedroom fellas is abundant. Cheaper to keep her is a saying for a reason.

It waa never about love. It was always about tribes and survival. It always has been. Its now a money making scheme.

All anybody can do is increase probability in their favor. You can't fix a divorce. Economically rekt. I don't think men are aware of what they risk.

The name is a shit test. A woman that's completely dedicated is committed young and not only does she want your name. She wants YOUR KIDS. wanting marriage and wanting kids isn't the same as her wanting to marry YOU. WANTING YOUR KIDS.

If not traditional

 

[SummerStriker]

Oh so transactional. That's what I thought.

It always was. Looking for love is a modern invention.

 

[Phlog]

I am in the same boat. I am in a friend group because of our kids. There are 12 families and we all live for our kids. Not a bad apple amongst them. Some are more of a handful than others but that is life. Now many are off to college and leading their lives, but we still have great relationships with them. Our families are WHO we are. I just do not see anything else being as important. Going to my sons Football games, and watching my daughter develop her future skillsets has been the greatest joy ever. Is it always easy? No, because you love them so much you feel all of their bumps and bruises. But it is worth it. They also prevent me from leading a self-serving selfish life.

Great to hear man and agreed. The wife and kids are the only reason that matters which makes me try and be a better person.

Likely why you would tolerate that nonsense.


Good stuff.

While not outside the realm of possibility, you guys are a statistical anomaly as are anybody with a nuclear family. You both give your kids a better chance.


But modern women want their cake and eat it too. LITERALLY. I'd argue modern women love food more thrn their husband's judging by the inability to put down their fork.

Modern men are absolutely pathetic and effeminate. They have nonstop concessions. You don't marry the Village bicycle. You don't raise other men's kids and sign up for cuckoldry. Most guys are so weak and starved for affection, they are marrying Oscar the grouch or whatever else climbs out of the dumpster.

Waiting till after geriatric pregnancy is not a committee woman. That's looking for a atm. Guys need to wake up.



It starts in college. Tyrone and Chad when young.

Spoiler

That awaits the average husband and likely a divorce.



agreed.

I will take it further. If she doesnt want your kids and when hot and young, its a dral breaker.

You dont marry the girl trying to hit a buzzard beater. Not geriatric pregnancy. Not body positivity. Come correct. proper or gtfo.

The divorce stats are very telling. it's something like 90% initiated by "college educated" women. By college, it means feminist indoctrination, hyper promiscuous, and debt. Guys are marrying that most often then not.

Our grandfathers were hardworking, typically some blue collar work, uneducated, good men, and they found a baddie at 18. Not 40 with a high body count.

The divorce stats re college education is likely due to the known effect of women finding higher status males more attractive than lower status males. If anything the effects you mention re feminist indoctrination are likely the reason for the initial pairing and it's biological why the divorce happens not the other way around.

It always was. Looking for love is a modern invention.

I refer you to the story of Eros and Psyche. Modern indeed!

 

[WandySaku2]

I was having this discussion over some beers with some guys in my fantasy football league a few months ago, and it was wild. Out of the five guys sitting at the table, not one of us had a good relationship with our father. We're all gen-x or boomers, so that's more common in our age group, but it's still disturbing.

Yeah, I don't know too many people that have a great relationship with their parents, and I don't know any people at all that are married with kids that are happy. Like not one if I'm being honest. Everyone I know personally that's married with kids is struggling to keep it together. I know guys that are single with kids that are happy, and I know dudes that have no kids that are happy, but I can't think of anyone that's living the dream that's enjoying it as sad as that sounds.

Did these guys do all of their family building earlier or later in life?

 

[plataoplombo]

Great to hear man and agreed. The wife and kids are the only reason that matters which makes me try and be a better person.



The divorce stats re college education is likely due to the known effect of women finding higher status males more attractive than lower status males. If anything the effects you mention re feminist indoctrination are likely the reason for the initial pairing and it's biological why the divorce happens not the other way around.



I refer you to the story of Eros and Psyche. Modern indeed!

Wife and kids are literally the only reason I got my shit together.

 

[Phlog]

Wife and kids are literally the only reason I got my shit together.

In psychology the drop off of criminality towards the age of 25+ years old is called the good woman effect.

Find a woman worth working on yourself for and profit. That's life.

 

[Lord_Impaler]

I'll be the first to say it. Seriously, fuck kids. The survival of the human race does not depend on dudes blowing it up in chicks anymore. We have the ability to reproduce without that, and if we destroy ourselves, some fat redneck or 3rd world caveman shitting out a bunch of kids isn't going to change anything.

The older I get, the more I notice what a waste of time raising a family is. The vast majority of people I know that have kids are just absolutely miserable, and half the time, they don't even have a relationship with said kids after they leave the nest. It's like they wasted the better part of their lives for nothing. One of my best friends is going through this. Both of his daughters are lesbians, and don't communicate with him because of his politics. Dude couldn't have been a better dad, and he's not even against anything regarding his daughter's sexuality. They just hate him on principal.

He's having a lot of regrets lately.
Yeah, fuck all that.....

In the interest of young guys reading this thread I have the opposite experience.

Having a family is the best part of life and makes a mockery of all other joys. All of my friends with families feel this way.

To be honest it sounds a bit insane that you know multiple people who’s children make them unhappy. Maybe these people aren’t so normal?

 

[WandySaku2]

At 39, pretty much my only goal in life is to have children. Literally anything I do to upgrade my life at this point is for these potential kids.

When my family gather, it's such a joy to be around all of my nieces and nephews. None of my sisters or brother seem miserable, and in fact the opposite. The idea of adding one of my own to this gang makes me smile at the thought.

Having a big, extended family is such a beautiful thing, and probably what I enjoy most about life in general. I legitimately feel a bit sad for people that don't have this.

 

[chimpoehurricane]

Great to hear man and agreed. The wife and kids are the only reason that matters which makes me try and be a better person.

I am ecstatic for you. I know far too many who are. 1. Rekt in divorce 2. In a dead bedroom marriage 3. Got some weird fuck shit going on.

I don't air this out at weddings or high school reunions. I attended a wedding recently. In pics, couples posed. People smiled. A guy in the wedding party informed me about the guys who are sleeping on the couch but banging around. 1 guy had his wife disappear for four weeks. Came back when she realized she can't do any better. Few wives that get knocked around.

It's fucked these days. Absolutely clown world.

The divorce stats re college education is likely due to the known effect of women finding higher status males more attractive than lower status males. If anything the effects you mention re feminist indoctrination are likely the reason for the initial pairing and it's biological why the divorce happens not the other way around.

Yeah. Hypergamy never sleeps. It gets blown out of proportion online but there's definitely a Evo psych rabbit hole you can go down. It's simply a survival tactic. More resources gives a higher success rate for survival.

Cliff note:

Survival ftw.

Spoiler

women initiate 69 percent of all divorces in the U.S. Further, the same study found that college-educated women initiate divorce at an even higher rate of 90 percent.

https://www.irwinirwin.com/why-do-women-initiate-divorce-more-than-men/

I think it goes back to that fear for survival. Also 6 decades of feminism. Ironic when you got these hags polluting the mind of young women who are in turn trying to compete for the men the young women have access too. It's actually pretty fucking evil.

Also, a joke of a degree falls into that category of 90% college educated. It should say, college indoctrinated. Majority of that is liberal arts, social Sciences, feminism or women studies. Not STEM. God forbid engineering, tech, or math.

I refer you to the story of Eros and Psyche. Modern indeed!

Link? I am actually fascinated.

Congratulations on the happy family and marriage.

 

[Hatorade]

Did these guys do all of their family building earlier or later in life?

Both

I know guys that got married in their early 20's that are now in their 30's and 40's that have been in a shitty marriage most of those years but stayed together "for the kids." A lot of those guys got divorced early and had a second fucked up marriage or baby mamma drama too. Some of them stayed single or got with a chick they don't have kids with, and they seem to be the ones that ended up the happiest, especially if their relationship with the ex is decent.

I also know a few couples that were happy together for years but decided to have children later on, and it destroyed their marriage. What I will say is that these types seem to handle the single parent thing a lot better because of their finances though.

 

[NoSmilez]

If your wife doesn't take your name then it's our wife. You need to fight for your child to at least have your last name.

 

[chimpoehurricane]

In the interest of young guys reading this thread I have the opposite experience.

Having a family is the best part of life and makes a mockery of all other joys. All of my friends with families feel this way.

To be honest it sounds a bit insane that you know multiple people who’s children make them unhappy. Maybe these people aren’t so normal?

There's a lot of women that have kids and font like or raise them. It's quite common actually.

At 39, pretty much my only goal in life is to have children. Literally anything I do to upgrade my life at this point is for these potential kids.

When my family gather, it's such a joy to be around all of my nieces and nephews. None of my sisters or brother seem miserable, and in fact the opposite. The idea of adding one of my own to this gang makes me smile at the thought.

Having a big, extended family is such a beautiful thing, and probably what I enjoy most about life in general. I legitimately feel a bit sad for people that don't have this.

Are you a Bachelor?

In psychology the drop off of criminality towards the age of 25+ years old is called the good woman effect.

Find a woman worth working on yourself for and profit. That's life.

You hear of the 7 year itch? Search it. It's real.

Did these guys do all of their family building earlier or later in life?

Probably the most underrated comment in the thread.

In the best of marriages, they got together, she was young (not geriatrics). They built a life. Shared history. I don't think this can be stated enough. Well done lad.

 

[Hatorade]

In the interest of young guys reading this thread I have the opposite experience.

Having a family is the best part of life and makes a mockery of all other joys. All of my friends with families feel this way.

To be honest it sounds a bit insane that you know multiple people who’s children make them unhappy. Maybe these people aren’t so normal?

It's more the children not liking their parents.

I think having a family is the one thing almost any poor schmuck can do, which is why so many people hold it above anything else they did in life. Going to Fiji with a romantic partner is more satisfying that attending a youth tee-ball game. Idealy, most guys want both, but VERY few can do it. Most guys get a family or adventure. A lot of guys that choose family find that it was a waste when they have shithead kids and a shitty marriage for the best years of their life.

That's the thing with kids. They're still their own people no matter how you raise them. You can have one kid that sharpens sticks in the driveway that bugs you to take him fishing when you get off work, and another kid that dresses in all black, hides in his room playing video games, and hates you despite being raised identical to the fun kid. I

f you start really getting out and talking to people, it's crazy how many people don't get along with their parents. Statistically it's about half in a lot of studies, with a 3rd of men describing their relationship with their father as being estranged.

Point is, no mater how good of a parent you are, you're taking a chance at wasting your life for someone that may not give two shits about you. It's just a reality that a lot younger dudes should hear.

 

[IDGETKTFO]

The way i see it is, without the Mans sperm, there would be no offspring. Hell, with todays technology, we don't even need women to reproduce. So its only fair that the women and children should take our last name.

 

[thetruth2709]

you need to grow up TS... strong family lol...this idiot lmao

 

[Lord_Impaler]

It's more the children not liking their parents.

I think having a family is the one thing almost any poor schmuck can do, which is why so many people hold it above anything else they did in life. Going to Fiji with a romantic partner is more satisfying that attending a youth tee-ball game. Idealy, most guys want both, but VERY few can do it. Most guys get a family or adventure. A lot of guys that choose family find that it was a waste when they have shithead kids and a shitty marriage for the best years of their life.

That's the thing with kids. They're still their own people no matter how you raise them. You can have one kid that sharpens sticks in the driveway that bugs you to take him fishing when you get off work, and another kid that dresses in all black, hides in his room playing video games, and hates you despite being raised identical to the fun kid. I

f you start really getting out and talking to people, it's crazy how many people don't get along with their parents. Statistically it's about half in a lot of studies, with a 3rd of men describing their relationship with their father as being estranged.

Point is, no mater how good of a parent you are, you're taking a chance at wasting your life for someone that may not give two shits about you. It's just a reality that a lot younger dudes should hear.

If you think going on a vacation is going to be more satisfying than raising a family…..than definitely don’t have kids, lol.

Which seems like you already figured out for yourself, which is great.

 

[IDGETKTFO]

A lot of guys that choose family find that it was a waste when they have shithead kids and a shitty marriage for the best years of their life.

Spoken like a true shithead kid. I bet your dad wished he pulled out.

 

[WandySaku2]

Going to Fiji with a romantic partner is more satisfying that attending a youth tee-ball game.

Would it be more satisfying than watching your son play in his High School championship game in his senior year?

I feel like that would be a closer comparison. And I'm not negatively judging your or anything, just curious.

 

[Hatorade]

Would it be more satisfying than watching your son play in his High School championship game in his senior year?

I feel like that would be a closer comparison. And I'm not negatively judging your or anything, just curious.

I sure as hell think it would be.
You sort of got to be a narcissistic dude to get a really high level of satisfaction out of your kids accomplishments like that.

I think that plays a role in a lot of guys having kids. They view their children's accomplishments as their own accomplishments. It's like their kids are an outlet for them to accomplish some of the things in life that they couldn't or no longer can do. More often than not, when dudes are in ecstasy over their kids accomplishments, it's not really because they're happy for their kid. They're ecstatic because they feel like THEY have accomplished something. This is why a lot of parents will become ecstatic about their kids graduating college or getting a huge promotion, but rarely if ever take the time to sit down and ask their kids if they're happy.

The older I get the more I realize that most people that have kids or people that should have never had them.

 

[Hatorade]

Spoken like a true shithead kid. I bet your dad wished he pulled out.

No, my dad was 100% that guy that would scream "that's my kid" every time I scored a touchdown my entire childhood. When I was playing football at Washington State in college, my dad couldn't have a conversation with someone for 2 minutes without bringing it up.

Truth was, my dad was a raging alcoholic that never accomplished anything in this entire life but getting a chick pregnant. He was the very definition of a guy that should not have had kids. I loved the shit out of him regardless, but it was a turbulent relationship for obvious reasons. I grew up in a small town and it was fucking embarrassing.

In my dad's defense, a lot of the reason he was a disaster was because of Vietnam. I have forgiven him in later years and made peace with my relationship with my dad, but I had a pretty rough childhood because of his drinking.