Man's talk about life and women

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by milenss, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. milenss

    milenss Red Belt

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    I came in an awful mood after work today with no apparent reason and I want to talk to you guys. Maybe some of you can help with a good advice (inbetween all the trash talk). So I hit 29 about a month ago and I have absolutely no idea where my life has been heading. It's like I feel completely empty. My first and only gf broke with me almost a year ago, althought we had been together just occassionly up to that point. So you can easily say that I've never been in a relationship if you dismiss the few times we were together. After that it's just ... nothing. I mean literally nothing. I've stopped training (because of injuries) and now I understand how empty my life is and the more important how nobody gives a sh&t about me, especially women.
    I used to lurk on pof with no result although I've sent really a lot of messages. The girls who have accepted my friend requests on facebook look like attention whores(as pretty much all the girls there to be honest).

    To make it short - My life has taken me to the point where I just don't know what's happening and if it's normal at all. Because most guys that age either have been in many relantionships or have a family with kids... and my life... looks to be non-existent. Did I mention I get rejected every time I try to find an OK job??

    Maybe some of the older guys can say a few words of truth..?!
     
  2. Luger

    Luger Rabbi of Platinum Nation Banned

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    29 is nothing.
    Just enjoy life. Don't worry about numbers.
     
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  3. Matt M

    Matt M It is happening again....

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    Just focus on doing the things you enjoy.
    There's no set way you need to be at any particular age and the last thing you need to be doing is thinking that a girl is going to make everything much better.
    I know some people think they must go down the 'get married, have kids' route but I can't think of much worse than that to be honest.
     
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  4. billiam

    billiam .

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    You should get sleeve tattoos.
     
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  5. Horse Style

    Horse Style Silver Belt

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    You need therapy
     
  6. Oblivian

    Oblivian Aging Platinum Member

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    What do you do for fun? Did you go to college or get to experience that type of lifestyle? Are you in shape? Decent job? Etc.
     
  7. Valhoven

    Valhoven ⨛heathed ⨜tance Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    Important for any man @ his 29th winter:

    [​IMG]
     
  8. milenss

    milenss Red Belt

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    I'm in a good shape. Just a few kilos more (I'm 74-75 at the moment the heavier I've ever been). I can be like 71-72 in the summer which is pretty good. But that's obviously not the problem. And I don't have a decent job. I don't like my job. No fun.. no fun at all.
     
  9. Tamriel Terror

    Tamriel Terror Silver Belt

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    Find some things you have a passion for or just enjoy doing, also you need to get out and get some friends man. Hell maybe even find a sherdogger or two that live in your area if they and you are up for that.

    You need to be busy, just sitting around and doing nothing is the absolute worst thing to do. Just keep moving, and as for most 29 year olds that "have settled down". That shit sounds pretty damn boring imo. Go out and have fun and best of luck to you
     
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  10. OverPressure

    OverPressure Rem Lezar melts steel beams

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    29, and you've only had one girl?
    No advice will help.
    Only time and more dating can do that.
    I will say, women can't be trusted.
    And I'm not sure you can blame them entirely, they grow up socialized to be a few kinds of fucked up.
     
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  11. Oblivian

    Oblivian Aging Platinum Member

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    You never touched on if you have hobbies and what you do for fun. All of that shit matters.
     
  12. mooner100

    mooner100 Guest

    Maybe these are just the cards you've been dealt with.
     
  13. sub_thug

    sub_thug Silver Belt

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    You need hobbies. Go find some ASAP.

    Honestly, if you have no friends, hobbies, or girls, you might be a pretty weird dude. Do some self-assessment on this one and try to fix it. Why don't people want to hang out with you? Answer that question and address it. This is the advice you need, not the advice you want. Best of luck.
     
  14. JaneJanes

    JaneJanes Banned Banned

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    You keep bringing up how much you dislike your job, so maybe that should be your first step in making a change. Go back to school, or learn something you enjoy
     
  15. A.A. Riggs

    A.A. Riggs SAXOPHONE

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    E'en tho it's his birthday Monica Denzel GIVING YOU A GIFT TODAY:

     
  16. Aegon Spengler

    Aegon Spengler Gold Belt

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    What helps me is being around people who love me, or like being around me. My parents, friends, family who I enjoy being around...people who can put a smile on my face. I find if I go too long without being around those people, just being at work and whatever, my mood gets very low. It's good to feel like someone cares about you.

    Also, when you're being critical of yourself (it sounds like you do that a lot, so do I) it helps to say to yourself, like you're a little kid, or like that critical part of you is a little kid - "hey buddy, I love ya. You gotta take care of yourself." I'm not saying give yourself a press pass on being a dick or anything but if you just love yourself a little bit, like say "hey, buddy, I care about you" - to yourself, before giving yourself advice, that can help. Being critical of yourself and calling yourself empty or saying your life is meaningless is you finding a way to hate yourself and be mad at you, and while that might be tempting or even justified it won't help anyone, not you or anyone else. It's actually narcissistic to hate yourself. There is a lot of selfishness in self-loathing. Narcissism has two blades, if you love yourself too much or if you hate yourself too much then you're all about you, either way....

    When it comes to women, they cannot resist a man who genuinely cares for himself and loves his life in general (and that's super hard to do without a good woman...I know...) but if you can get to that point in your life women will be attracted to you like a moth to a flame, my friend.
     
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  17. FightsFTW

    FightsFTW Red Belt

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    I can somewhat relate, as a guy in my 20s, my life is definitely not where I want it to be. No gf either, though I do have some that I talk to and I'm slowly improving my game. I went to college to get a career in something and not be stuck in a shitty job the rest of my life. I can relate to the job interview thing, I swear I don't know if its bad luck or what, but I have a hard time passing interviews for jobs. Coincidentally I was just about to make a thread about interview advice.

    My best advice would be to just work on yourself. Try to improve in the areas you feel you aren't happy in. For me I was a shy pussy around women, so I worked on it and am still working on it. Now I am getting better at talking to them and holding a conversation and getting some dates. I am working on being overall more outgoing, I'm trying to learn to dance legitimately so I can go to dance clubs and meet ups. This is mainly because I hear there are loads of beautiful women that go to these places to dance and love a man who can move.

    Just work on improving where you think you are lacking and it'll all work out.
     
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  18. michal001

    michal001 Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    it's all about perspective

    why breaking up with chick and being single works; get to meet more women and date them. heck, you can date and sleep with somebody different every day of the week.

    injured and need to take a break from working out: get some much needed rest. can focus diet. maybe pickup rehabilitation exercise like yoga or pilates.

    Anyway, success begets success. Failure begets failure. People can sense nervousness, self-pity, and self-loathing. You should be the person you are, not the person you want to be.

    Finally, you should enjoy your sadness and unhappiness. When you go to a horror show or haunted house and get the bejesus scared out of you, why do you like it? Enjoy whatever you have now, because you will never experience it this poignantly as you do right now.
     
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  19. spin

    spin Gold Belt Platinum Member

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    If you're truly past the ability to train and work out at a high level, is a hard time in a man's life.

    Best case scenario is if these injuries of yours will heal up to the point you can get back to it.

    Without knowing your situation better I'd just say, patience.
     
  20. MoparOrNoCar

    MoparOrNoCar Black Belt

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    I don't have much time to write this but here's what I would do.

    First step would be to self reflect. What are you doing wrong? Why aren't the ladies into you? Is it your appearance? Do you get nervous or say weird shit? Why do you think they aren't into you? Once you figure out why, then you can work to improve on it. I found out why early on. I dressed poorly, had no confidence, was too quiet and when I did talk, I couldn't really think of much to say, let alone anything real interesting to grab the ladies attention. So I started dressing better and I started from the bottom. I'd go on dates with girls I wasn't even attracted to. That lowered my anxiety and got me more comfortable talking. Then I started to figure out what it was that got them attracted to me while on a date (just being funny and not saying anything too opinionated). At that point I worked my way up the ladder with the ladies until the point I'm at right now where I can get some pretty decent looking girls. I look, feel and act way better than I used to back when I was struggling with the matter.

    Same goes for work. If you get rejected, ask why they rejected you so you can figure out what it is that you need to improve on.
     

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