Limericks about fighters.

Discussion in 'UFC Discussion' started by Cugel_the_clever, Aug 14, 2016.

  1. Cugel_the_clever

    Cugel_the_clever Yellow Belt

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    The haiku thread made me laugh, so I wondered if anyone could try some fighter limericks. here is my attempt.


    There once was a man, always flexing
    Always bragging and heckling and jesting
    till a hero named Nate
    he did slap and castrate
    and the man then resorted to wrestling.
     
  2. RawHawg

    RawHawg Black Belt

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    If anyone wants to try, the following old one would be good to put in words like Bas (as in Rutten), and gas, as in Carwin, etc

    There was an old man from Cass, whose balls were made of brass, in stormy weather they knocked together and lightning shot out of his ass.
     
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  3. Tayne

    Tayne Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    there once was a man named enis
     
  4. Goonerview

    Goonerview Gold Belt

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    There once was a man called Brock,
    On his chest was the image of a cock,
    He has a very crazy life,
    He got on his wife,
    And that was the man called Brock
     
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  5. Clippy

    Clippy Losenges choke ya out brah

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    There once was man names Jon Jones,
    He went for a drive and
    CRASH
     
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  6. peacemaster

    peacemaster Black Belt

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    There once was a man called Ido

    Who masturbated regularly his ego

    He's liked touching butts and oiling his nuts

    And laughed all the way to Rio

    (cos he can't Beleive people buy into his bullshit)
     
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  7. peacemaster

    peacemaster Black Belt

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    You are a free form
    Poet

    You
    Give not a shit about the rules
     
  8. Clippy

    Clippy Losenges choke ya out brah

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    I followed the rules, but he crashed the car so there was no more poem left
     
  9. DannyNL

    DannyNL The King is BACK, baby! Banned

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    Jon Jones is not known for his thinking,
    Crashing cars as he's known for his drinking,
    DC he would trample,
    But there's clomiphene in his sample,
    So now his career is stinking.
     
  10. Degen Gambler

    Degen Gambler Silver Belt

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    There was a man from Stockton named Nate.

    Who got lucky, causing his fans to 'bate.

    His signature slap, their reason to fap.

    Until a man from Ireland came back to prove that he's great.
     
  11. ixRanGzeNxi

    ixRanGzeNxi Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    But he wasn't really a man cuz he had no penis
    Yet he wasn't a girl, as he was born a man
    You can see him now with locks abound
    It's no laughing matter with Fox around


    Did I do that right? :p
     
  12. Phronimos

    Phronimos The truth don't have to be validated by ignorance.

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    This thread has potential.
     
  13. DannyNL

    DannyNL The King is BACK, baby! Banned

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    Jones' hobbies include winning fights,
    Snorting coke and ignoring red lights,
    He once was the best,
    But he flunked his drug test,
    Now we won't see him for 730 nights.


    Sorry for all the Jon Jones limericks he just such an easy target
     
  14. footodors

    footodors Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    there is a man name conor;
    to fight would be such an honor;
    why you ask would I fight him of which,
    I'd say he'd make you stinkin rich
     
  15. Cugel_the_clever

    Cugel_the_clever Yellow Belt

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    There was a young man known as Jones
    He cut weight by removing his stones
    He cut also the willy
    Then beat women silly
    and reveled in the sound of there moans.
     
  16. PriestPaiMei

    PriestPaiMei Orange Belt

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    Her name will flag up a spell check
    She earns a very good pay cheque
    She's skinny as hell,
    But fights very well
    Her name is Joanna Jedredzyck
     
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  17. NHB7

    NHB7 Steel Belt

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    There once was a man named Dana.

    Yes, I said a "man" named fucking "Dana."

    He wanted to be a fighter, but he couldn't take a lump.

    And now he's just a loud mouth supporter of Donald Trump.
     
  18. mikehunt

    mikehunt ........Belt Buckle........

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    A canner exceedingly canny
    one morning remarked to his granny...
    A canner can can anything that he can
    but a canner can't can a can can he?
     

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