Social Knowing when to choose your battles.

[Alphaboy]

TLDR: Asshole was stockpiling weights in the gym. Although I didn't need it, the selfish behavior annoyed me. What would you do?

Knowing when to engage in confrontation and when to walk away is a big thing in life. We are often confronted with various conflict situations... doesn't matter how cool you are, confrontation will inevitably find you. There is no rule book that outlines when you should and should not engage, all you have is your intuition (which is formed by your personality, past experiences, biases, and other such environmental factors).

Too confrontational and you become a Karen/Ken. You'll get into unnecessary drama, which can escalate, cops can get called, etc.

Too averse to confrontation and you become a human doormat.


A few months ago, some coworkers and I were talking.

Joey* said: Look, if I'm in the gym and dudes are on two machines I tell 'em, ' look, you can't be on two machines bro!'

Now Joey is an imposing dude. He looks like a former MMA fighter. short hair, muscular physique, covered in tatts, gravely voice and everything, he did some time in the joint. He looked like a slightly younger, version of Perry Saturn (wrestler).

Pete*: Well, look at you, you're like 6'2 and muscular, imagine me saying that!
Pete was a short, bespectacled man who enjoys dad jokes.

Joey: If they're taking too long playing on their phones while holding up a machine, I'll let 'em know... bro, if you're on the machine, you gotta go!

I thought about how I liked Joey's attitude. You don't necessarily have to look hard to check somebody who is not doing the right thing. There'd probably be fewer pricks if more people were more confident to check them.
*
*
*

*Fast Forward to Today*

I'm working out with some free weights, in front of the mirror and near an upright bench. Dude comes up to me and points to it to ask me if I'm using it.

"All you, bro" I said, moving my stuff so he can take it...

Then the guy takes the bench with his girl and grabs some weights...

Then some more...

then some more...

then some (cot damnit, are you seeing a pattern yet Sherbro?)

A muscular dude walks up to him and politely asks if he's using one of the weights on the floor. The guy says yes, and the big dude walks away.

I'm a bit pissed off at how selfish ol' boy was.

(photo I took)

I didn't need them so it wasn't my fight, but I thought of what if I did. Look, I don't like confrontation. I'd rather get through my day with no problem and come back home to chill. What I hate more is people who do whatever tf they want because they know folks don't wanna confront them. I think if need be, you gotta be assertive or folks will feel entitled to do whatever tf they want. I thought about what my co-worker said, and knew this was a situation where he'd call the dude out.

I luckily didn't need the weights but a sliiight part of me wanted to call him out for a Sherdog thread alone (rational side of my being won though ).
I really thought of how I would handle the situation if I wanted two of those weights. Knowing how I operate:

I'd try the path of least resistance... try to do another workout or something and hope he'd be done by then... be patient, but my patience would wear thin and I'd grow increasingly annoyed the longer I'd wait... I'd eventually say "hey you gonna be done with those soon?" hoping he'd get the hint and if he was a dick I'd answer in kind. I'm more of a chill, funny dude, I won't pretend I'm Ra Ra or Jon Jones, but I'm no one's punk either.

Now I have to ask, what would you do if you needed a set of weights and saw this dude hoarding them? Would you let it go? Tell him he needs to give a pair up? Bearing in mind how easy it is to say you'd go all tough guy online, realistically how willing are you to confront someone.

The last time I confronted someone it was rather unpleasant, but this post is long enough already, I may tell it later.



*Denotes Name change

 

[GearSolidMetal]

This is one of the reasons why I like going to the gym between 11pm-4am.

Nobody's there, so you don't have to deal with nobody's bullshit.

And ya feel like a baller having a multi-million dollar gym all to yourself, like you own it, for a few hours.

 

[Tuvatuva]

TLDR all of it, but I can imagine the situation and how you would feel. This kind of shit irks me and the only reason I would want to be rich is so I can have a private gym and not deal with assholes.

The gym I go to is full of people who hog multiple weights and machines at the same time. If I need to use something, I just go over and ask when they're onto something else. Unless they're absolute lunatics, people won't say they're using a machine/weight when they are already in the process of using something else.

Last time I was at the gym, this guy was switching back and forth from pull ups, to dumbbell curls, and to overhead presses. I wanted to do pullups. I asked him if he was using bar while he was in the middle of his press set. He obviously couldn't say that he was so I went ahead and did my pull up routine.

 

[Alphaboy]

This is one of the reasons why I like going to the gym between 11pm-4am.

Nobody's there, so you don't have to deal with nobody's bullshit.

And ya feel like a baller having a multi-million dollar gym all to yourself, like you own it, for a few hours.

I feel that. One of the appeals I liked of planet fitness (are they still 24 hours?)

Some days I have specific workouts I want to do, and some machines can be impossible to get unless you circle them like a vulture.

 

[Plutoburn]

I enjoy going to the gym between 9am and 12pm because there is a lot less people. And most of the people that are there are regulars that don't do stupid stuff. But if I see any behaviour I can't stand, it's usually some overt violation of gym policy anyway so I'd just call for staff to do this. It's not my job to enforce rules in the gym.

 

[Brandon Wilson]

I don't work out in a gym outside my house
Haven't since COVID lockdown. But I'd probably politely inquire first, then depending on how they responded to my inquiry, go from there. Thing is, I tend to go from 0 to a million miles an hour at the drop of a hat.

 

[RoastBeast]

Looks like the dude down the way was stock piling them too.

 

[lakersfan45]

I think idiots like that are looking for confrontation. They get off on it. I’m not gonna let some guy get off on me.

but really the way I feel about situations like these is I’m not gonna let some asshole that I don’t give a damn about ruin my mood or day

 

[Dogshare]

Just see it as it is; some strange guy that thinks he deserves or needs all those weights. If you can laugh about it, you can also approach him easily in a relax way. If you are irritated and make it like something very big in your head, then maybe better walk away and find some other way to train, since both of you take yourselves too serious at that moment. Would be a waste to get in some argument about weights...

 

[Osculater]

I would had burned his car for being selfish with the free weights

 

[Brom Bones]

TLDR: Asshole was stockpiling weights in the gym. Although I didn't need it, the selfish behavior annoyed me. What would you do?

Knowing when to engage in confrontation and when to walk away is a big thing in life. We are often confronted with various conflict situations... doesn't matter how cool you are, confrontation will inevitably find you. There is no rule book that outlines when you should and should not engage, all you have is your intuition (which is formed by your personality, past experiences, biases, and other such environmental factors).

Too confrontational and you become a Karen/Ken. You'll get into unnecessary drama, which can escalate, cops can get called, etc.

Too averse to confrontation and you become a human doormat.


A few months ago, some coworkers and I were talking.

Joey* said: Look, if I'm in the gym and dudes are on two machines I tell 'em, ' look, you can't be on two machines bro!'

Now Joey is an imposing dude. He looks like a former MMA fighter. short hair, muscular physique, covered in tatts, gravely voice and everything, he did some time in the joint. He looked like a slightly younger, version of Perry Saturn (wrestler).

Pete*: Well, look at you, you're like 6'2 and muscular, imagine me saying that!
Pete was a short, bespectacled man who enjoys dad jokes.

Joey: If they're taking too long playing on their phones while holding up a machine, I'll let 'em know... bro, if you're on the machine, you gotta go!

I thought about how I liked Joey's attitude. You don't necessarily have to look hard to check somebody who is not doing the right thing. There'd probably be fewer pricks if more people were more confident to check them.
*
*
*

*Fast Forward to Today*

I'm working out with some free weights, in front of the mirror and near an upright bench. Dude comes up to me and points to it to ask me if I'm using it.

"All you, bro" I said, moving my stuff so he can take it...

Then the guy takes the bench with his girl and grabs some weights...

Then some more...

then some more...

then some (cot damnit, are you seeing a pattern yet Sherbro?)

A muscular dude walks up to him and politely asks if he's using one of the weights on the floor. The guy says yes, and the big dude walks away.

I'm a bit pissed off at how selfish ol' boy was.

(photo I took)

I didn't need them so it wasn't my fight, but I thought of what if I did. Look, I don't like confrontation. I'd rather get through my day with no problem and come back home to chill. What I hate more is people who do whatever tf they want because they know folks don't wanna confront them. I think if need be, you gotta be assertive or folks will feel entitled to do whatever tf they want. I thought about what my co-worker said, and knew this was a situation where he'd call the dude out.

I luckily didn't need the weights but a sliiight part of me wanted to call him out for a Sherdog thread alone (rational side of my being won though ).
I really thought of how I would handle the situation if I wanted two of those weights. Knowing how I operate:

I'd try the path of least resistance... try to do another workout or something and hope he'd be done by then... be patient, but my patience would wear thin and I'd grow increasingly annoyed the longer I'd wait... I'd eventually say "hey you gonna be done with those soon?" hoping he'd get the hint and if he was a dick I'd answer in kind. I'm more of a chill, funny dude, I won't pretend I'm Ra Ra or Jon Jones, but I'm no one's punk either.

Now I have to ask, what would you do if you needed a set of weights and saw this dude hoarding them? Would you let it go? Tell him he needs to give a pair up? Bearing in mind how easy it is to say you'd go all tough guy online, realistically how willing are you to confront someone.

The last time I confronted someone it was rather unpleasant, but this post is long enough already, I may tell it later.



*Denotes Name change

What the fuck was he doing? Drop sets? Was the girl doing stuff too? How old was this guy? What time was this? Was the gym busy? Doesn't look like it. So many unanswered questions. You're welcome!

 

[lakersfan45]

What the fuck was he doing? Drop sets? Was the girl doing stuff too? How old was this guy? What time was this? Was the gym busy? Doesn't look like it So many unanswered questions. You're welcome!

Busy enough that he rejected someone who wanted a weight

 

[Brom Bones]

Busy enough that he rejected someone who wanted a weight

Okay. Okay.

Also, use the smell, taste test to check if food with mayo has gone bad. Everything else is just bullshite.

 

[lakersfan45]

Okay. Okay.

Also, use the smell, taste test to check if food with mayo has gone bad. Everything else is just bullshite.

Yeah man I just ate it YOLO

 

[Alphaboy]

It's not my job to enforce rules in the gym.

Fair.

One thing I notice about people as it pertains to confrontation: Let's say you call the cops on a neighbor and report a noise complaint because their music is too loud, they'd likely think "why couldn't you approach me like a man?" but how many times do people try to talk to someone respectfully and it blows up in their face? I can see the "letting the folks paid to deal with it deal with it" approach.

 

[Alphaboy]

What the fuck was he doing? Drop sets? Was the girl doing stuff too? How old was this guy? What time was this? Was the gym busy? Doesn't look like it. So many unanswered questions. You're welcome!

Moderately busy. It's been worse but unless the gym is empty you don't do that. No idea what they were doing... I personally like to do small warm up sets and work my way up, but I'll just put the weights down when I'm done and go to the next one, not have everything lined up. Wth?

 

[Jack Reacheround]

A gym is one of the worst places to confront someone because everyone there thinks they know how to fight because they’re strong.

The guy was also probably just waiting for someone to say something so he could try to fight them. Anyone who lifts knows taking all the dumbbells is bad etiquette. He knew what he was doing. Let the gym staff see him and handle him.

 

[PaddyO'malley]

Personally I don't really care. While it's frustrating, they have a paid membership too and there's a whole rest of a gym I can use. Maybe they don't know any better, but I don't feel it's worth my time and extra stress to make an attempt at teaching them.

If someone's curling in the squat rack, I'll do front squats on the platform. If that's taken by a douchebag maxing out with 4 plates on deadlifts for the 8th time this month, I'll do some kettlebell work or go light and focus on time under tension work with one of the curl bars. Or both.

Every exercise has a dozen alternatives, and weight isn't the only parameter that can be manipulated. I don't see my athleticism as being elite enough to need specific weights and exercises to accomplish my overall goal of staying lean and not dying young.

 

[-Magua-]

How much ya bench bro?
Jk
Dick move & unspoken no no.
Troublemaker will continue to find his way down. Prolly tren or a bombs/Anadrol messing with his head. Some dudes get grandioseness/ & or anxiety/paranoia on some gear or certain types.

He’ll find his way into regret & consequence, best to stay out of his way on to more Ls.

People /dudes tend More courteous in gyms here in PH, or SEA perhaps, I find.

I have seen that from time to time in US & usually dudes whose head is a mess on gear or anti social persona, or both.

 

[San Marino]

I'm working out with some free weights, in front of the mirror and near an upright bench. Dude comes up to me and points to it to ask me if I'm using it.
"All you, bro" I said, moving my stuff so he can take it...
Then the guy takes the bench with his girl and grabs some weights...
Then some more...

I don't see what the problem is here. The guy asked you if you were using the weights, you said no. He takes more weights. Were you using those? Why does what happen with the second guy matter to you? I don't go to gyms. I do all my workout at home and outside. I hate public places. Don't these places have a manager or staff people can make a complaint?