Just broke up with my girlfriend- am I being unreasonable?

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MDWv2

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My girl's best friend happens to be a gay dude and they've known each other for 7 years plus.

He's a cool guy but sometimes his personality is unbearably annoying. However, I have never said a word to my her. My girlfriend and him are really close, they occasionally end up crashing at each other's houses. This never bothered me because I knew of the guy before I even dated her, and mainly because well he's flamboyant. Also I'm not the insecure type.


Well the guy ends up moving and him and my girlfriend stayed close friends. I never had an issue with this at all whatsoever.

Anyways while he was away, out of the blue when my girlfriend was talking to me about him, she told me the night she told me to pick her up from his house one night months ago was because he recently got dumped by his boyfriend and was begging my girlfriend to have sex with him.

Now when the guy ended up moving back, there was some issues. She accused me of not trusting her but that was not the case.I never worried that she was going to have sex with him, but I felt extremely disrespected. I didn't consider the guy a threat but I told my girlfriend I don't care to hang out with the both of them anymore. When I did see him, I would always be polite. My girlfriend agreed to no longer crash at each other's places, and if they did, he would take the couch.

Well anyways, she tells me they're going to go on a road trip for two days to Arizona (she asked me first to go but I couldn't due to work). When I hear this, the first thing I asked was what are the sleeping arrangements, and she said they are going to get a hotel room. I tell her that I'm not okay with it, due to the principle of the guy trying to have sex with her to which she responds "you don't understand, that's just the way he is" and then keeps on saying she's not going to stop being friends with him. I tell her that I never asked her to stop being friends, and all I'm asking is for her to respect my wishes. She then gives me an ultimatum of approving the trip or breaking up with her so I broke up with her.

Was I being unreasonable?
 
Last edited:
Can't answer constructively without seeing a picture of her.
 
If the roles were reversed and some girl friend of yours tried to fuck you she would be tripping. Given she doesn't see it from your perspective, and is unwilling to humor your reasonable mistrust I'd say you made the right decision.
 
Would be nice to hear how things have worked out, TS.
 
You did the right thing by dumping her. Nobody wants to deal with that drama.
 
Hmmmm, I figured he would've taken her back by now . . . good for him if he didn't.
 
They'll be banging the first thing they get into that hotel room.
 
What's your and hers money situation like? Was getting two rooms out of the question? I would have just given her the money for a separate room, or just get a room with 2 beds (assuming I'm comfortable with her going on a trip with another dude).

I mean the deal breaker for me would have been long before that though. He knew she was your girlfriend. Just because he's gay doesn't mean he can have friend-sex with her because he's sad. She wouldn't be hanging out with him after that if it were me.
 
LatFlare said:
violently assaulted him with a phone book to the end that his fear would lead him to dial back the friendship himself.
Click to expand...

200_s.gif
 
Stop bumping this thread. You aren't helping TS with his mission of getting over the girl when you keep asking about her.
 
MDWv2 said:
My girl's best friend happens to be a gay dude and they've known each other for 7 years plus.

He's a cool guy but sometimes his personality is unbearably annoying. However, I have never said a word to my her. My girlfriend and him are really close, they occasionally end up crashing at each other's houses. This never bothered me because I knew of the guy before I even dated her, and mainly because well he's flamboyant. Also I'm not the insecure type.


Well the guy ends up moving and him and my girlfriend stayed close friends. I never had an issue with this at all whatsoever.

Anyways while he was away, out of the blue when my girlfriend was talking to me about him, she told me the night she told me to pick her up from his house one night months ago was because he recently got dumped by his boyfriend and was begging my girlfriend to have sex with him.

Now when the guy ended up moving back, there was some issues. She accused me of not trusting her but that was not the case.I never worried that she was going to have sex with him, but I felt extremely disrespected. I didn't consider the guy a threat but I told my girlfriend I don't care to hang out with the both of them anymore. When I did see him, I would always be polite. My girlfriend agreed to no longer crash at each other's places, and if they did, he would take the couch.

Well anyways, she tells me they're going to go on a road trip for two days to Arizona (she asked me first to go but I couldn't due to work). When I hear this, the first thing I asked was what are the sleeping arrangements, and she said they are going to get a hotel room. I tell her that I'm not okay with it, due to the principal of the guy trying to have sex with her to which she responds "you don't understand, that's just the way he is" and then keeps on saying she's not going to stop being friends with him. I tell her that I never asked her to stop being friends, and all I'm asking is for her to respect my wishes. She then gives me an ultimatum of approving the trip or breaking up with her so I broke up with her.

Was I being unreasonable?
Click to expand...
No you aren't she needed to respect what you wanted.
 
I don't think you're being unreasonable. Dude tried to bang your girl. I'd not be cool with it either. What sucks is, now you're broken up and she's gonna have sex with a gay dude. Bummer.
 
Hey bud.

From what you've outlined here, you're not being unreasonable at all. She should not be ok with her supposed best friend trying to advance upon her, and it shouldn't have come down to you being the one stating the obvious or having to make a decision that was more incumbent upon her to do.

It sounds like you were very reasonable to a situation that is not really common, and did not intervene until such time it began to effect you and your relationship in a more direct manner.

There's levels of respect that your now ex did not show you amidst you seemingly extending a very high amount her way from the outset.

Hold your head high and continue with your excellent morals and sound judgement. Eventually you will find someone who treats you the way you do to them and it should make for a solid foundation for the both of you.

All the best.
 
Nope, if she thinks the trip is more important than you, then fuck her, figuratively.
 
Break up with her. You don't want this flamboyant gay dude hanging around the rest of your life having your kids calling him uncle and shit. That's only funny in romantic comedies, sounds like a pain in the ass in real life.
 
need pictures of them both to know for sure. No homo.

but i say yes you are
 
if you give someone an all tomato, you better be willing to deal with the consequences.

she'll come crawlin back when her friends limp dizkit cant satisfy her.
 
You absolutely did the right thing. That dude's mission in life is to create as much unnecessary drama as possible.
 
Does she have hot female friends?
 
You're not being unreasonable at all. If she thinks that her not going on a road trip and sharing rooms with a guy who tried to bang her is too much to ask, you made the right choice with that ultimatum. I know that feel bro; having to end up with someone who is otherwise a great fit for you because they're inconsiderate and disregard perfectly legitimate and reasonable concerns. Stay strong, dood.
 
BJ@LW&WW said:
if you give someone an all tomato, you better be willing to deal with the consequences.

she'll come crawlin back when her friends limp dizkit cant satisfy her.
Click to expand...

And if this is the case, ask her to get tested first if you intend to take her back.
 
Depends.

Did you get "one for the road?" The "for old times' sake?" Next time you tell this story be sure to include that part.
 
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