Jerk Training Partners

Stallone

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Is there some unwritten rule that once you become a purple belt that you immediately have to become an asshole? I am not speaking of all purple belts, but I have noticed that a solid 70% of purple belts in my area are assholes. I am a blue belt that is working hard on stepping up my game and testing myself. I train a few times a week and always prefer to go with people who can kick my ass. But last night I noticed that most of the purple belts and upper ranked blues are just openly talking shit to new guys, and to other blue belts. Now I understand that some are more prone to hazing and talking shit, but I notice it happens more at the purple belt level. Ironically, most brown belts are ambassadors to the sport, trying to work with every training partner equally, and are not afraid to break things down for new guys. When I attain my purple belt I plan on helping others and offering nothing more then a smile and assistance. Does anyone notice this at their gyms? I am hoping not, but I would like to hear from others about this. Is it an ego thing with middle ranked guys or something?
 
Most purple belts are not jerks in my experience.

Also, what qualifies as being a jerk to newer guys? Sometimes I will rather bluntly refute something that a newer guy says, but it's just to help them.

Like say someone claims to me that he is immune to a particular submission because everyone tries it on him but it never works. I ask whom he is referring to, and he gestures to some other new guys. I just say straight up that the reason it is not working is because the other new guys are bad at the submission just like he is bad at it too. It's important to be truthful and not sugar coat stuff.

But I always go out of my way to help the new guys. They are our future training partners after all.
 
Its very easy to get frustrated with the revolving door of new students, purple belts (myself included) sometimes forget that that revolving door keeps the lights on.

When you say openly talking shit, do you mean clowning new guys or calling their games bad? How does your instructor react to this going on?

My first thought is the common denominator here is you, but you make it sound as if the purples treat everyone like poo.

To echo Balto- none of the purples I know are like that, we always look for ways to help out newer guys, and I don't think there's any beat-downs outside of trying new submissions.
 
Openly laughing at new guy trying techniques, only going after the new guys when then the mat is open so they can try out their new twist on a gogo, or bicep crusher, or talking to other guys while the new white belt is rolling and talking shit about them, for instance "what this asshole is trying, haha" was uttered last night. Now I understand that rolling with new people and sometimes kicking their ass is part of the game (most of us have been there for a year or two when we are learning), but what isnt necessary is when you downplay someone for trying a sport we all love.
 
Not an issueI have run into. In fact I find purple belts very helpful, some new blue belts tend to get an ego because they crush everyone in the beginner class, but once they start rolling with the advanced class that ego goes away quite fast.
 
Openly laughing at new guy trying techniques, only going after the new guys when then the mat is open so they can try out their new twist on a gogo, or bicep crusher, or talking to other guys while the new white belt is rolling and talking shit about them, for instance "what this asshole is trying, haha" was uttered last night. Now I understand that rolling with new people and sometimes kicking their ass is part of the game (most of us have been there for a year or two when we are learning), but what isnt necessary is when you downplay someone for trying a sport we all love.

Mocking sincere effort is not cool. It is also not normal.

If this is common at your school, I'd find another.
 
get the instructor involved, see what he thinks. if it continues, find a new gym...if the new gym ends up the same as the last one, then the problem is most likely you.
 
Openly laughing at new guy trying techniques, only going after the new guys when then the mat is open so they can try out their new twist on a gogo, or bicep crusher, or talking to other guys while the new white belt is rolling and talking shit about them, for instance "what this asshole is trying, haha" was uttered last night. Now I understand that rolling with new people and sometimes kicking their ass is part of the game (most of us have been there for a year or two when we are learning), but what isnt necessary is when you downplay someone for trying a sport we all love.

Making fun of a new guy's effort is retarded. Not accepted at most places...

That said, there are a few occasions where I have seen normally mild mannered purple/brown/black belts openly mock new guys.

Exhibit A: we have guys that come into the gym ALL the time and lie about their experience. Usually, they still suck, but for some reason, they won't admit they have trained before. I have rolled with enough guys that I can usually tell within 5 seconds if the guy has trained before. Last week, we had a guy say he had not trained, then try to surprise attack a purple. He did put a beating on him while mildly shit talking him (asking him "why did you lie?" and a few similar comments) and several guys were laughing on the side, including the instructor. After the roll he just asked him, "why did you lie and say you haven't trained?" He said, "well I did army combatives." He let it go, but I have rolled with a lot of army combatives guys, and this guy did more than combatives (though he was still a total spaz and definite WB). He will probably continue to get his ass whipped by everyone until he comes clean... just sort of a policy at our academy- lying about your training and then trying to get a tap on a ranked guy = ass whupping.

Exhibit B: It is pretty common for brand new whitebelts to come in and try to do some stuff they saw on the UFC or youtube. I think it is important to show new guys that they arent going to be able to defeat the basics and stuff we just covered by improperly attempting a gogoplata... So you will hear the occasional "what the hell are you doing?" comment out of our purples or browns... generally when a purple is rolling with a white, he is just feeding him the moves we just covered in class. So the white trying to sneek in a heelhook or something usually results in a laugh or a warning. The alternative is to just smash the attempt and possibly hurt the guy.

Just 2 examples... maybe that is being an asshole, but I see that stuff all the time and have no problem with it
 
I'll joke around with new guys to show that they're "part of the team". Like make up nicknames for them, or say "ooh almost passed, go go go,...and I recovered guard." Tell them some pointers, or tell them to keep their arms in.

Open mat going after new guys to try new things should happen but you should spend most of your time working with upper level purples/browns, and higher blues.

There are times when people are rolling and they throw up something completely wrong and jokingly I'll ask them which youtube channel they learned that from, then proceed to coach them through something basic.
 
In my gym the purple belts aren't jerks to the white and blue belts, but they do tend to ignore the white belts. There are just too many of them and most don't train enough days or stay long enough to get to know them.

We have a brown belt who is constantly trash-talking to everyone including the instructor, but it's hilarious so everyone just laughs.

Most of our purple belts are pretty quiet in class, they just show up and train. They'll correct you if you're doing a drill wrong but they don't really talk smack to anyone.

We have a few blue belts who are pretty good friends and we trash talk each other a lot but there are very few actual jerks.

I don't know, I've met a few guys who were jerks in the gym but they were all white belts. Guys who don't get along with their training partners don't tend to stick around long enough to make it to blue, much less purple.
 
I could imagine this happening if the instructor doesn't have control of the class, or if he sets a bad example.

Generally most of the meatheads tend to be white or black belts, IMO. :rolleyes:
 
I don't know about being a jerk because I definitely don't talk crap to anyone or about anyone but when I roll with a brand new person I make sure that I show them that Jiu-Jitsu works right away. I don't go hard but I make sure that I tap them a good number of times before I start to take it easy. I feel like sometimes if you start off real easy then sometimes they won't believe in it's efficiency. But just to be clear, I'm never mean spirited about the roll but I'm more business on the very first roll I have with them. The thing that motivates me the most is getting tapped by people that are better than me. I hate tapping because I'm a competitive guy so it puts the fire in me to get better.
 
That makes no sense.

well it is simple.

TS said that once he get purple he will offer a smile and assistance.

and then he responsed: you will never make to purple with such attitude.

I think the point is that everyone training time is limited.

If you think at purple belt, you have to be everyone free assistant instructor, you will quickly run out of time for your own personal training and advancement.

You want to improve to become purple belt, be selfish and concentrate on your training. no need to be an asshole but focus on your training.
 
I think he was being sarcastic...or joking (I hope).


Right on both counts. Sorry leichen.

I liked how from the op it seems there is a conclusion that to pass for purple you have to be an asshole or at the very least a douche bag.

While the majority of purples I know are very cool an helpful, I've seen cases of guys getting their purple and all of a sudden becoming too cool to talk to anybody below their rank.

This however depends on personality. A jerk is a jerk no matter the belt, now he just becomes more jerkier(!?) because he thinks the belt makes him better.

It's very rare that you have multiple cases of purple-jerks that basically take over a club which I think is the unfortunate case in TS's school
 
I think the main issue is why is the BB letting his purple belts act like that in his class in front of paying customers.
 
I liked how from the op it seems there is a conclusion that to pass for purple you have to be an asshole or at the very least a douche bag.

This cracked me up.

"I'm worried that my instructor is letting his standards slip. It used to be that only raging assholes would get the purple belt, but now he has promoted a couple of guys who are merely douche bags."
 
sorry to hear that about where you train. we have a few purples where i train at and everyone is really cool with sharing their views and techniques on moves. but that could be the problem, too, since lots of people will tend to bother them for feedback, etc. that perhaps they could come off like like you describe.
 
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