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Actually we know quite a lot of Roman society and their sexual behavior.
A Roman male citizen at any period of their history could and would have sexual relations with other men so long as they were of a lower social status and they took the dominant role, it was acceptable and even expected. It was another way for Roman males to assert their dominance and they were really into that sort of thing. We also know their sexual preference in general were in general younger than modern standards, with children as young as 12 being prostitutes, but this is true in basically every ancient society. Life expectancy was 40 or so depending on the region and they didn't have much time to get to business.
The periods of restraint you speak of were very minor exceptions compared to the scale of Roman history and what we know of it, and certainly nowhere close to the rule.
It certainly wasn't normal for Roman soldiers, unless they were raping enemies/slaves.
During the Republic, homosexual behavior among fellow soldiers was subject to harsh penalties, including death,[191] as a violation of military discipline. Polybius (2nd century BC) reports that the punishment for a soldier who willingly submitted to penetration was the fustuarium, clubbing to death.[192]
The passive partners were always heckled in the worst ways.
A man or boy who took the "receptive" role in sex was variously called cinaedus, pathicus, exoletus, concubinus (male concubine), spintria ("analist"), puer ("boy"), pullus ("chick"), pusio, delicatus (especially in the phrase puer delicatus, "exquisite" or "dainty boy"), mollis ("soft", used more generally as an aesthetic quality counter to aggressive masculinity), tener ("delicate"), debilis ("weak" or "disabled"), effeminatus, discinctus ("loose-belted"), pisciculi, spinthriae, and morbosus ("sick")
Under Christian rule, things got even worse for homosexuals:
Attitudes toward same-sex behavior changed as Christianity became more prominent in the Empire. The modern perception of Roman sexual decadence can be traced to early Christian polemic.[227] Apart from measures to protect the liberty of citizens, the prosecution of male–male sex as a general crime began in the 3rd century when male prostitution was banned by Philip the Arab. A series of laws regulating male–male sex were promulgated during the social crisis of the 3rd century, from the statutory rape of minors to marriage between males.[228]
By the end of the 4th century, anally passive men under the Christian Empire were punished by burning.[229] "Death by sword" was the punishment for a "man coupling like a woman" under the Theodosian Code.[230] It is in the 6th century, under Justinian, that legal and moral discourse on male–male sex becomes distinctly Christian:[231] all male–male sex, passive or active, no matter who the partners, was declared contrary to nature and punishable by death.[232] Male–male sex was pointed to as cause for God's wrath following a series of disasters around 542 and 559.[233]
The concept of homosexuality for Romans seemed to be akin to prison gang members.
Even in the 1950's, atleast homosexuals weren't being clubbed to death or burned alive.