Issues early on in a relationship

guiza · Sep 17, 2013

Yes another relationship thread in the Mayberry Lounge. What better way to share my troubles than with my fellow MMA fans though. Well I've dating a girl I met online for about close to two months. Physically and mentally, we both hit all the right switches for each other on the first date and things just carried on so good. We talked every single day since the first date, we were seeing each other every weekend, etc.. But as always in my past relationships, I find away to unintentionally to screw things up.

About over a week ago, the 6th of this month to be exact, we were headed to the San Diego Zoo. I decided to drop my dog off at my parents house since he was sick. Well, I guess she was expecting to meet my parents. I really wasn't even thinking about that, I was just dropping off my dog really quick and heading out. Besides, it's a little too soon for that right? We're still suppose to be getting more comfortable around each other and stuff right? I noticed she was distant through out the whole date and we even left early because she wanted to. We had no contact on Saturday and Sunday. I called her Monday night to no answer and she sent a text message about an hour later with her saying that she was bothered as to why I didn't want to introduce her to my parents, that she has no time for games. To dig myself deeper, I asked her why she hasn't introduced me to her parents and I just simply told her that we were enjoying each others company and not to rush things. She replied "It's not too soon for sex though right!? I don't know right now, I gotta think things through"

We've had little to no contact since then, we talked this weekend and she asked me to tell her what my feelings and intentions are for her. I told her. I mean, I really do like her a lot, I don't know why she's getting so caught up on a misunderstanding. I want to keep seeing her but to have issues this early on. Not normal right?

German Soldier · Sep 17, 2013

You should give her an Ipad.

Tankeray · Sep 17, 2013

I wouldn't consider it a big deal.

Its like this- from what you've said she seems like she really likes you, so that's good. Girls put a lot of stock into meeting parents, and that's a good indicator of her attraction to you.

They're obviously sensitive when it comes to that sort of stuff. I wouldn't sweat it too much, just be honest with her.

So have you been hitting it?

Candide · Sep 17, 2013

I don't know if I can take this one right on and be really thoughtful about it and stuff, but I can offer you this:

the whole banter over what your "feelings and intentions are" coming up means to tread fucking lightly. It's only a matter of time until one of you says you "don't want to define it" and the other questions someone's commitment. These things only happen a few different ways.

So, my advice: find something going on around your area this weekend. Something you can't just do any day ("let's go to the Zoo sometime") because you need a definite answer from her instead of a "yeah, maybe." So, something with a date and time like "such and such band is in town on Saturday and I've got two tickets. Let's go?" -- if she says no, she says no and if she says yes, you get the face time to figure the deal out.

Good luck, Starfox.

Doughbelly · Sep 17, 2013

Murlik · Sep 17, 2013

Clearly she wants some undiscussed and quasi public anal sex. How could it be anymore obvious?

Give her what she wants bro.

MortalWombat · Sep 17, 2013

What sort of dog is it?

guiza · Sep 17, 2013

Candide said:
the whole banter over what your "feelings and intentions are" coming up means to tread fucking lightly. It's only a matter of time until one of you says you "don't want to define it" and the other questions someone's commitment. These things only happen a few different ways.

Feelings, intentions, commitment!!! It's only been two months!

I really like you. What else does she need to know for now? If I just wanted to sleep with her, I would of been long gone a month ago.

AznTrojan · Sep 17, 2013

guiza said:
Yes another relationship thread in the Mayberry Lounge. What better way to share my troubles than with my fellow MMA fans though. Well I've dating a girl I met online for about close to two months. Physically and mentally, we both hit all the right switches for each other on the first date and things just carried on so good. We talked every single day since the first date, we were seeing each other every weekend, etc.. But as always in my past relationships, I find away to unintentionally to screw things up.

About over a week ago, the 6th of this month to be exact, we were headed to the San Diego Zoo. I decided to drop my dog off at my parents house since he was sick. Well, I guess she was expecting to meet my parents. I really wasn't even thinking about that, I was just dropping off my dog really quick and heading out. Besides, it's a little too soon for that right? We're still suppose to be getting more comfortable around each other and stuff right? I noticed she was distant through out the whole date and we even left early because she wanted to. We had no contact on Saturday and Sunday. I called her Monday night to no answer and she sent a text message about an hour later with her saying that she was bothered as to why I didn't want to introduce her to my parents, that she has no time for games. To dig myself deeper, I asked her why she hasn't introduced me to her parents and I just simply told her that we were enjoying each others company and not to rush things. She replied "It's not too soon for sex though right!? I don't know right now, I gotta think things through"

We've had little to no contact since then, we talked this weekend and she asked me to tell her what my feelings and intentions are for her. I told her. I mean, I really do like her a lot, I don't know why she's getting so caught up on a misunderstanding. I want to keep seeing her but to have issues this early on. Not normal right?

is she taiwainese?

Candide · Sep 17, 2013

guiza said:
Feelings, intentions, commitment!!! It's only been two months!

I really like you. What else does she need to know for now? If I just wanted to sleep with her, I would of been long gone a month ago.

I agree with you, but it's not completely insane that she would be a little weirded out over that. Did you meet on a dating site or just elsewhere on the internet? Either way, who first decided to hang out in real life?

The thing about dating girls you've met online instead of however it happens in the real world is that you don't really begin with with the wealth of experience you earn with someone when you progress from the very first time you meet when you know nothing about each other to eventually becoming friends and building trust and respect for each other and eventually romantic feelings. You forgo most of that and need to figure out what the foundation of the relationship really is and sometimes it might just go off the rails. Sometimes it won't, though, it's still worth the same effort.

A13KS · Sep 17, 2013

She's trying to figure out if you're gasoline or aqua fresca. She's been burned in the past and those wounds are still sensitive to the heat of passion. Are you adding fuel to a fire or will you douse her flaming fears with some high quality H2O? Be like water and adapt to her needs or make the wrong move, get heated and watch it all turn into ashes.

The choice is yours...

Candide · Sep 17, 2013

A13KS said:
She's trying to figure out if you're gasoline or aqua fresca. She's been burned in the past and those wounds are still sensitive to the heat of passion. Are you adding fuel to a fire or will you douse her flaming fears with some high quality H2O? Be like water and adapt to her needs or make the wrong move, get heated and watch it all turn into ashes.

The choice is yours...

The way you said this is gayer than two dudes fucking one smaller dude but there's still some worthwhile advice here

The Batman · Sep 17, 2013

A13KS said:
She's trying to figure out if you're gasoline or aqua fresca. She's been burned in the past and those wounds are still sensitive to the heat of passion. Are you adding fuel to a fire or will you douse her flaming fears with some high quality H2O? Be like water and adapt to her needs or make the wrong move, get heated and watch it all turn into ashes.

The choice is yours...

Douse her with something else...

ifyouknowwhatImean

Scrody · Sep 17, 2013

She sounds a tad nutty

Revolver · Sep 17, 2013

I can't give advice without seeing a pic of her first.

Islam Imamate · Sep 17, 2013

Idk, I would just tell her what you told us. You didn't mean to introduce her that day because you guys already had a date planned. Tell her that and say something like "I didn't want it to be a rushed introduction because first impressions are important" and then tell her you'll have her meet your parents in the near future.

guiza · Sep 17, 2013

Candide said:
I agree with you, but it's not completely insane that she would be a little weirded out over that. Did you meet on a dating site or just elsewhere on the internet? Either way, who first decided to hang out in real life?

The thing about dating girls you've met online instead of however it happens in the real world is that you don't really begin with with the wealth of experience you earn with someone when you progress from the very first time you meet when you know nothing about each other to eventually becoming friends and building trust and respect for each other and eventually romantic feelings. You forgo most of that and need to figure out what the foundation of the relationship really is and sometimes it might just go off the rails. Sometimes it won't, though, it's still worth the same effort.

Dating site. I messaged her, eventually got her number and we went out. I understand. But from my point of view, which she doesn't seem to get, is that I'd rather her meet my parents like, I don't know, taking us all out to dinner or whatever. I just thought it would of been rude to take in to my parents house just to introduce her without anytime to sit down and talk.

guiza · Sep 17, 2013

Revolver said:
I can't give advice without seeing a pic of her first.

haha, no way.

minute bull · Sep 17, 2013

Give up the goods, you chumpo!

I don't know about tread lightly. Kill her. That'll give her something to too soon about.

People communicate differently. Be forthright with your clarifications, and don't foist off guilt.

I didn't bring you inside because I'd prefer we make meeting my parents a special occasion. Right now we're going to wherever the fuck and I had to drop off my sick who gives a shit. Now pick: rose garden or blowjob.

LatFlare · Sep 17, 2013

Did you tell her that you were just dropping the dog off and running out again and didn't consider it was a good time to hang around and chat with your parents?

Why don't you just set up a dinner with your folks and introduce her? What are you afraid of? Are you gay and your girlfriend is actually a boy?

Edit: and is the dog ok?

Issues early on in a relationship

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