Is it wrong that I cry when masturbating?

Discussion in 'Archives' started by RangerFTL, Jun 9, 2002.

  1. RangerFTL

    RangerFTL Guest

    Well, what do you guys think? I keep telling myself it's stress relief.
     
  2. SEXY BEAST

    SEXY BEAST Guest

    Your probally pulling it to hard! try talking to him softly and if that doesn't work start the bitch slapping!:D
     
  3. punkmother

    punkmother calf cruncher fan

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    i suggest lube if your crying during masturbation...or dont think about tanner's pic by maijin bux and cold
     
  4. Milkman Dan

    Milkman Dan Black Belt

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    hmmm...

    Check this out:



    Stalker
    When I was in the fifth grade I developed a crush on J, at first I was content to fantasize about her whilst masturbating but eventually I decided I should start talking to her and as such started my tumble into stalking. If TV and Movies had taught me anything it's that even the loser can win the pretty girl if he tries hard enough and his intentions are pure, I figured that since I had the loser more than covered it would off set any impurities, even if she is not attracted to him at first. So I started having my friends ask her about me and had high hopes for the results. Then I found out that she wasn't into me in a dating/kissing sense but my years of TV and Movies wouldn't let me down, I figured I just needed to try another route to win her love. So I figured an anonymous love letter would do the trick so after constructing it carefully each night for about a week I was ready to move out. I planned on slipping the note into her locker between classes and observing her reaction from afar, after a week of chickening out I realized that if I just slipped it in her locker she might not see it so I attached the letter to a ring I found around my house so that I could slip the note in and have the ring support it from the outside having the twofold effect of her loving the ring and seeing the note once she opened the locker door. Again I wussed out for a week so during the last day before Christmas break I was walking around upstairs by her locker and saw her getting her books so I started chatting her up and then hid around the corner until she got out of sight so I could deliver my payload. Within moments she left and I quickly ran to her still open locker and placed the note on top of her backpack thus insuring she'd see it and fall madly in love with me. Christmas break came and went and upon my arrival back in school I learned through other people (as always) that she was really scared of me, she thought I broke into her locker to put the note there, TV and Movies had failed me. But I was not deterred and kept up my love of J. How did she know that it was me who did it instead of someone else? Well just to make sure my fail proof love letter didn't help someone else win here heart I made sure to say that I was not any of the other guys who like her. Way to be anonymous Ryan, way to seal your fate. During square dancing in gym class I would do the math in my head for the division of partners so that I could be in her group and get my touch on when we rotated partners. I did this for two weeks, at one point I heard her say, "If I have to dance with Ryan I'm going to puke!" But I was not deterred; I'd simply have to try harder! So I started talking to her about professional wrestling as soon as I found out she was a fan. It was great because she would actually talk back to me and I could talk to her without losing my breath, getting flushed and breathing heavy until she ran away from me all repulsed and scared. Using her talking to me as a sign of intent I decided to proceed to the next step and get her address out of the phone book and started calling her. I would call upwards of ten times a night and kept up even when I would be told that she was washing her hair because I didn't want to believe she wasn't into me. After about three/four days of calling tops the school was a buzz with rumors of my stalking yet again. She had the boys wrestling team threaten me if I didn't stop talking to her, she had her girlfriends (who towered over me) threaten me if I didn't stop calling her, and she ran away or had someone step in between us whenever I tried to talk to her. Around this point I resorted to crying while masturbating, around this point I stopped leaving the house, around this point I was far past being a stalker.

    Next Stop Nowhere
    - Ryan



    Pretty disturbing isn't?
     
  5. punkmother

    punkmother calf cruncher fan

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  6. RangerFTL

    RangerFTL Guest

    *Pauses during mid-stroke, and wipes a tear*

    OH FUCK!! Where'd you get that???
     
  7. Sak-ISM

    Sak-ISM Green Belt

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    thats one fucked up story! :confused:
     
  8. Milkman Dan

    Milkman Dan Black Belt

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    At the one and only creppy kids club. My friend showed it to me a while back.
    :)
     
  9. Milkman Dan

    Milkman Dan Black Belt

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    Check out this creepy kid art work.
     
  10. RangerFTL

    RangerFTL Guest

    That's what happens when parents don't beat their children enough.
     
  11. Sauron

    Sauron Red Belt

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    that sounds dirty in the least conceivable way ranger:eek:
     
  12. RangerFTL

    RangerFTL Guest

    EXCELLENT!! My plans come to fruition!
     
  13. Mr. Smith

    Mr. Smith <img src="http://www.sherdog.net/forums/attachment

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    just stop thinking about the kittens....
     
  14. cheeba85

    cheeba85 Orange Belt

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    Dude, do you really cry when you masturbate? Or is it just that you get some tears in your eyes at the point of ejaculation...

    My eyes used to get watery when I blow the load when I was younger...

    The tearing just went away one day...
     
  15. The Jake

    The Jake Evil Genius

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    Maybe he's crying coz he just shot a load in his eye?

    - The Jake
     
  16. Erick Draven

    Erick Draven Blue Belt

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    put a finger in your ass....that will help j/k:p
     
  17. Magic Man

    Magic Man Guest

    I hear if you shoot urself in the eye with a load, you go blind eventually because the sperms think your eyeball is an egg and they make holes in it and eventually it deflates.

    - m
     
    chipsnbbqsauce likes this.
  18. Waylander

    Waylander Guest

    I would truly hate to have my eye deflated because thousands of sperms thought it was a giant egg.
     
    chipsnbbqsauce likes this.

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