Social Is it normal in life to feel invisible as a man?

[FléauDeDieu]

I'm in my mid twenties, and, maybe I'm just having a bad week, but recently I can't help but feel like I feel very invisible when I'm going through life. I do have friends, but most of them live aboard now or are too busy to meet up and do things together.

Nobody really seems to interact with me besides cashiers or librarians when I go to collect books from the library. Even in the BJJ clubs I'm in it feels like most people don't really mix with each other beyond a name only basis.

Does anyone else feel this at times? I've read through US-centric forums like reddit, and there is strong undercurrent from the answers that this is what most men experience when they go through life.

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

I'm in my mid twenties, and, maybe I'm just having a bad week, but recently I can't help but feel like I feel very invisible when I'm going through life. I do have friends, but most of them live aboard now or are too busy to meet up and do things together.

Nobody really seems to interact with me besides cashiers or librarians when I go to collect books from the library. Even in the BJJ clubs I'm in it feels like most people don't really mix with each other beyond a name only basis.

Does anyone else feel this at times? I've read through US-centric forums like reddit, and there is strong undercurrent from the answers that this is what most men experience when they go through life.

You are not invisible here on Sherdog

 

[666]

Yes you are nothing. This is the Sherdog though. Here we are one mostly.

 

[SalvadorAllende]

Where are you from buddy?

 

[Don Quixote]

I’d say for the most part, yes.

 

[Romulas]

I'm in my mid twenties, and, maybe I'm just having a bad week, but recently I can't help but feel like I feel very invisible when I'm going through life. I do have friends, but most of them live aboard now or are too busy to meet up and do things together.

Nobody really seems to interact with me besides cashiers or librarians when I go to collect books from the library. Even in the BJJ clubs I'm in it feels like most people don't really mix with each other beyond a name only basis.

Does anyone else feel this at times? I've read through US-centric forums like reddit, and there is strong undercurrent from the answers that this is what most men experience when they go through life.

You live in Manhattan? NY is tough until you make a few friends and get acclimated. How long have you been here?

 

[d0g]

Maybe. One option (not saying this is the best approach): Lower your expectations and it won't bother you as much. Tell yourself "I guess this is life, oh well".

What do you do for work? You don't interact with people there?

 

[Gabe]

Walk in public naked and see how invisible you really are.

 

[nostradumbass]

Yes, it is normal for men on reddit to feel lonely and invisible.

Seriously though, I think it's pretty normal to have a lot more casual friends you actually hang out with in college, then after people kind of move around and you loosely keep in touch and mainly have a handful of people you hang out with regularly, then after you get married you still hang out with your other friends but less often, then when you have kids most of the people you hang out with are your family, people from work and other parents.

Depending on where you live and what you do for work, there are some different ways to be more social. Take a couple group pickleball clinics, meet a few people there, then drop in for some round robins. It's pretty social, the girls are attractive unless they're really old, people who play are usually pretty nice and they often stay and have drinks after, and you can make friends that way.

 

[Sobek]

It probably is pretty normal actually. Historically I think no one really cares about men and you are nothing until you have proven yourself useful somehow.

 

[Contempt]

I'm in my mid twenties, and, maybe I'm just having a bad week, but recently I can't help but feel like I feel very invisible when I'm going through life. I do have friends, but most of them live aboard now or are too busy to meet up and do things together.

Nobody really seems to interact with me besides cashiers or librarians when I go to collect books from the library. Even in the BJJ clubs I'm in it feels like most people don't really mix with each other beyond a name only basis.

Does anyone else feel this at times? I've read through US-centric forums like reddit, and there is strong undercurrent from the answers that this is what most men experience when they go through life.

Everyone seems to live online these days. People get busier and busier as they get older and settle down... it will only get worse. Shit happens.

If you care, go take up team sports and hobbies so you're introduced to more potential friends and partners.

 

[Spounman]

Nah, you have to diversify and maintain different groups of friends.

 

[Fuzzybabyducks]

Older u get the harder it is to get new friends and keep in touch with old . I just hang out with coworkers

 

[Kowboy On Sherdog]

Sherfam 4 Life

 

[whocares]

People seem a lot more bland to me now, 15 years into smartphonification. I find myself feeling like most people I meet are lacking some personality and definitely a sense of humor relative to just 10-15 years ago. I don't find too many people to be particularly interesting anymore and rarely to a level where I'd care if I saw them again.

It might in part be a regional cultural thing. Southern New England is all worker drones and thats pretty much the regions singular mentality, the only counterculture here are the drug addicts. Kind of weird being an artist or creative, you're pretty much in your own small weirdo zone. At my age though I really don't need friends anymore. I'm like my dad now I have to stop myself from talkin a strangers ear off (could you tell? lol)

 

[ricc505]

Maybe. One option (not saying this is the best approach): Lower your expectations and it won't bother you as much. Tell yourself "I guess this is life, oh well".

What do you do for work? You don't interact with people there?

This is the way. This is your life, recalibrate your expectations and enjoy it. When things change it might be for the better and enjoy that too.

Also I take my kid to the library for storytime, art projects and kiddie concerts, there are some quality women there, maybe there are some at other types of events at your library. I was shocked

 

[Strychnine]

You're looking at this from the wrong angle..

You're not alone...

You're free.

You have the options to do what you want when you want. You can join a book club, travel, train, and adventure to your heart's desire. If you're looking for companionship, (and I'm being serious here) look into a tabletop gaming group.

It'll be a bunch of people just chatting and having fun. I've made some amazing friends that way. Keep an open mind and I'm rooting for you.

 

[chardog]

Some of us, that is a choice, friends are mostly noise, and if I wanted friends, i would be in a club for like minded hobbyists… one time i was, however, it can be annoying if your goals and ambitions don’t line up.

 

[preppypyro]

Yes it's normal, and if you're anything like myself, the older you get, the more invisible you want to be.

 

[JudoThrowFiasco]

No. You're just feeling unfulfilled. Figure out what you want out of life and then take steps to make it happen. Wallowing in depressive thoughts is how bitches live life