is it ever okay to hit your kids?

Let me guess, you’re a liberal in your late teen/early 20s, and no kids of your own? here’s a little news flash, people have been raising kids for centuries, and they didn’t need little “studies” to tell them how to do it. funny how people who have never reason a goldfish can now tell us the best way to raise our kids. How about you all STFU and let us raise our kids the be strong, smart, adults that know right and wrong. When you’re old enough to have kids, you can raise them to be the pussies you want them to be.

No I'm a 35 year old adult that was raised before the age of pc, when damn near everyone hit their kids. Not hitting your kids =/= letting them do whatever they want and run the household.

Discipline is very important when raising a child, but violence is a terrible form of discipline.

When done properly is definitely effective.




Disagree completely. Discipline handled properly isn't teaching anything close to violent impulses to anyone.


Well the stats are out there. And the problem is once you allow violence into the equation, there's a really high chance you WILL hit them out of anger at some point. Because people are not perfect and have emotions. I was spanked occasionally as a kid and I wouldn't say that was harmful, but I was hit out of ang]er many times too. I've seen it happen with friends and faily members kids, random kids in public, etc.

Kids are frustrating and annoying a lot of the time, opening the door to hitting them as a form of discipline is very dangerous unless you have complete emotional control.

@Mike90 , don't do it. Don't respond. You've seen this thread done multiple times in the past and you know how it plays out. Don't get sucked in.

This thread is just going to end up 4-5 pages of arguing and no one even coming close to relenting their position


You're right I don't know why I bother. When someone counters study data with "I don't believe in any of that science stuff" the rational conversation is over. It's like talking to a flat earther.

Fuck science and widespread results, right?

Some dude who probably has a host of issues saying "I turned out alright" is definitely more informative than multiple comprehensive studies on the subject.

You right.

Seriously everyone takes "I am not currently incarcerated or killing hookers" as "alright". Just because you survived abuse and aren't literally insane doesn't mean it didn't have any negative effect on you.


People point to tradition but we've done a lot of stupid things in the past because we just didn't know any better. Appeal to tradition is one of the dumbest logical fallacies there is.

~100 years ago we had children working in sweatshops, indentured servitude, no rights or equal pay for workers, people marrying children, etc.[/QUOTE]
 
Yes every single study ever done was.... I don't know faked or had an agenda.... against... violence? Listen to yourself.


It's widely accepted by psychologists that have many years of schooling and training that violence is the least effective form of behavior modification. There is literally zero debate on this subject in the scientific community because it's so well established.


you use science in your every day life, are talking to me through a device made possible by science, use it for every facet of your every day life. Yet you feel comfortable saying nah, I have a gut feeling it'sall bullshit while doing ZERO research.



You don't believe it, go look into those studies. We're not talking one study that involved 50 people. We're talking hundreds and hundreds of studies involving thousands of people conducted over several generations.
Don't confuse me not believing in bullshit psychological studies that go against common sense and thousands of years of child rearing with me not believing in science.
 
It's absolutely 100% true.



http://www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org/effect-on-children.html


http://www.nctsn.org/content/children-and-domestic-violence



TLDR: Violence towards children or even witnessing violence as a child can effect neurological development, cause ptsd, depression, bed wetting, increased violence and aggression, anxiety, difficulty concentrating (which will effect their grades), alcoholism and abuse of other substances, etc.


It's not open for debate at all. Violence makes humans worse in every measurable way. It's not a form of discipline, it's the result of people being too goddamn lazy to actually discipline their children and teach them right from wrong.
If all that is true then you must've gotten your ass worn out on a daily basis as a kid.

I spanked my daughter when she was younger and now she's a pretty well adjusted kid.

Spanking wins.
 
Given that 100's of cultures over 10s of 1000's of years, probably a lot longer, have spanked kids to some degree or other, I find it hard to believe it's all that terrible.

There are a lot worse things you can do to kids. The simple slap isn't the issue IMO. You can do a lot more damage with what you say and how you say it. Bullying, belittling, scaring, withdrawing love, ostracising etc etc are far more damaging than a bit of pain.

It's all very well saying the science is settled but it's not. Many studies fail to separate caring parents spanking from abusive parents for whom the spanking (or much worse) are the tip of an abusing ice-berg. Many studies are demographic in nature and do not show the causality. And just like so many nutritional "links" may well be wrong or in the wrong direction. Context is everything and almost impossible to take into account. Unless you've separated abusive parents unncessarily beating their kids from loving, supportive ones who spank only when needed, then your studies cannot be applied to all people in all situations.

I would guess that the social studies departments of universities are often full of left-wing anti-spanking people who are very biased which isn't going to produce fair results.

I must say I don't spank my kids. I have in the past when they were younger and it's had the desired effect. But they're old enough now to understand reason and threats of things being taken away (TV, Xbox, sleepovers etc) which is effective enough.
 
Given that 100's of cultures over 10s of 1000's of years, probably a lot longer, have spanked kids to some degree or other, I find it hard to believe it's all that terrible.

There are a lot worse things you can do to kids. The simple slap isn't the issue IMO. You can do a lot more damage with what you say and how you say it. Bullying, belittling, scaring, withdrawing love, ostracising etc etc are far more damaging than a bit of pain.

It's all very well saying the science is settled but it's not. Many studies fail to separate caring parents spanking from abusive parents for whom the spanking (or much worse) are the tip of an abusing ice-berg. Many studies are demographic in nature and do not show the causality. And just like so many nutritional "links" may well be wrong or in the wrong direction. Context is everything and almost impossible to take into account. Unless you've separated abusive parents unncessarily beating their kids from loving, supportive ones who spank only when needed, then your studies cannot be applied to all people in all situations.

I would guess that the social studies departments of universities are often full of left-wing anti-spanking people who are very biased which isn't going to produce fair results.

I must say I don't spank my kids. I have in the past when they were younger and it's had the desired effect. But they're old enough now to understand reason and threats of things being taken away (TV, Xbox, sleepovers etc) which is effective enough.
this
 
I used to get beat with a giant wooden spoon like a foot long. One side had a happy face one side had a frownie face.

When the frownie face came up, you were in for a beating.

That sounds horrific! Who the fuck came up with that idea?!
 
Don't confuse me not believing in bullshit psychological studies that go against common sense and thousands of years of child rearing with me not believing in science.

Appeals to tradition are so silly. I'll bite. How does the length of time something has been done matter in any way whatsoever?


Some things that were common for thousands of years that were abolished relative recently in human history:


Human sacrifice
Child labor
Slavery
Sexual abuse of children
No rights for women
No rights for workers
Religious persecution


Just because something has been done for whatever length of time doesn't mean it's the right thing or most effective thing to do. It has literally zero merit as an argument.
 
Hitting and spanking are two separate things. I received the back of my dad's hand to the face more than my fair share of times, but honestly, I think it's a generational thing. Not sure I would do that now with my son, but who knows what would happen when you see red, naw mean?
 
That sounds horrific! Who the fuck came up with that idea?!

That used to be pretty common. I got hit with a wooden spoon too, and so did several of my friends. The spoon broke one day and I was pretty excited about that until they just bought another one lol
 
If you hit your kids as a consequence, you teach them that violence is a solution to a problem.

Good luck with that, all.
 
If all that is true then you must've gotten your ass worn out on a daily basis as a kid.

I spanked my daughter when she was younger and now she's a pretty well adjusted kid.

Are you sure?

1zh1pw5.jpg


Spanking wins.

OOOOOoooh, you said spanking. Doh!
 
That used to be pretty common. I got hit with a wooden spoon too, and so did several of my friends. The spoon broke one day and I was pretty excited about that until they just bought another one lol

Ping pong paddle here . . . I ran away chasing my grandma wanting to go to town with her one day. Mom was feeding my little brother at the time and had no clue where I was . . . a neighbor picked me up on the side of the road and brought me back to mom. Mom met us on the road about 3/4 of a mile from my house with that dang ping pong paddle in her hand. Broke that thing in two after the second swing (thank God). Never ran away again. :)
 

That's because there is no arbitrary line of separation. The vast majority of people that use violence with their kids would say they love their kids and are doing it to help them. Whether that discipline is mild spankings, back hands, a belt or whatever. And because that's how they were raised, and they turned out just fine. You know except for thinking hitting their kids is an acceptable way to teach them something.
 
If you hit your kids as a consequence, you teach them that violence is a solution to a problem.

Good luck with that, all.

Thanks . . . it's worked out fine in our house. And in both of my brothers homes . . . of course spanking is only effective up to a certain age and then you need to take away privileges to make the consequences actually mean something.
 
Ping pong paddle here . . . I ran away chasing my grandma wanting to go to town with her one day. Mom was feeding my little brother at the time and had no clue where I was . . . a neighbor picked me up on the side of the road and brought me back to mom. Mom met us on the road about 3/4 of a mile from my house with that dang ping pong paddle in her hand. Broke that thing in two after the second swing (thank God). Never ran away again. :)

Lol I did pretty harmless stuff like leave the house without telling them where I was going (I was like 8 I simply forget) or forget to do chores or finish all of my homework.


I can only imagine the beatings I'd have gotten if I was doing the shit my friends were doing.
 
This thread brings the lulz with bad science, anecdotal data, and bias.

Are there any blinded, randomized controlled trials on spanking versus beating versus no corporal punishment? No? That's because this kind of study can never be performed.

All studies on spanking are survey and epidemiolgic studies prone to substantial bias and error. Half of all these study designs draw the WRONG conclusion. For example, these studies typically pool together spanking with beating because these definitions are subjective and difficult to separate in this study design. The truth is that nobody knows the true effect of limited spanking or judicious spanking.

Personally, I believe I don't believe in corporal punishment and believe the foundation of discipline should be deescalation and cognitive reasoning. That being said, you know modern society has become a bunch of pussies. All these parents who thought coddling their kids would make them happy has in the long run made them sad.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/face-it/201111/do-we-all-deserve-gold-setting-kids-fail

http://archive.azcentral.com/families/articles/0302fam_overindulge.html
 
Back
Top